monster

he was driven till his head was numb

ready to make a dumb mistake

 

with every step he took

another soul would quake

and so he grew faster-

stronger

he noticed a type of monster he would make

 

he dreamed of hurting

felt the urge

he knew with every move he took

his insides were on a verge

 

now every moment gone to waste

forgotten every day

he lost his body

lost control

 

lost his love

his heart-

his soul

Reviews

[Sir Robert Robbie Lord ..]

sometimes i must a little bit wait and don't just leave
so i can rise above the hate i sometimes feel
towards the so called real world
what others may percieve as hell
i don't i might say it out louder and that always feels better

the incredible hulk
the rightious anger
the gentle nature

[Rikkevi Rue]

nursery rhyme-ish in a way or like one of those childs poems that just keeps sliding further and further south! very well executed which is why it communicates well!

[Dani]

very cool poem! I especially love the last stanza;it flowed so well. :D

[Undying Glory]

great work here, and i do agree, that last stanza was the best in this one. i sure like this one a lot! nice job here.
"he dreamed of hurting
felt the urge
he knew with every move he took
his insides were on a verge"
now this was great as well and i like the rhyming. i felt that that last line in this stanza could use a bit of explanation though (aka, on the verge of what...), if you get what i'm saying...
just my thoughts on this one. great job!

[Shardbearer99]

Hey that was nicely done. I loved your last paragraph, though. "Lost his love, his heart - his soul" - then what else can you be but a monster, if you lose those three precious things? Great stuff

[Sweets]

Great poem.
I loved the ending.
It's like a bright light that's fading away. Lost his love, his heart, his soul.
Great job!
Thanks for sharing

[Coyote Poetry]

Easy to become a monster. Anger can steel the kindness and hope. A powerful poem. No weakness. Just direct to the point and strong. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Seems a real person is standing in front of your eyes..!!! Nice imagination painted through words..!!

Good Job..!!