Part VII: War! Year 1

Part VII: War!

Year 1

2007

     F**k. F**k. F**k. How did I end up here? Immediately following basic training, me and the unit were deployed. F**k. We’ve been out here for almost a year and we’ve already lost people. Johan and Leo are still around though, thank God. Killing my first enemy was f*****g nuts. We were under fire and I saw him coming. I hesitated for a little bit cause I started thinking about how he’s a regular guy like me doing his job. But his job is killing me, and I’m not going to end up dead out in a place I didn’t want to go in the first place so I shot him dead. I got to cover as soon as I could, and waited for the cease fire call. I was only here a month when that happened, I’ve since gotten my balls back and decided I have to kill my enemy, no matter who they are. We’re just hanging out right now though, we haven’t had any action in awhile. I hear we might have a black president, imagine how weird that would be.

     “So guys, anyone hear from home lately?” I ask.

     “Ja, my papa ams donates money to veterans services in honors of us.” Johan said.

     “Get the f**k out.”

     “Ja, he ams prouds of us, he ams says we will make country proud.”

     “Awesome, anyone else?” Nobody.

     “It’s been so long since we did anything.” Sean said.

     “Calm down, Lutzy, they wouldn’t keep us here if they didn’t need us here.”

     “Maybe they forgot about us.” Leo said.

     “I doubt it, come on, we gotta stay in high spirits here, we’re out in the middle of nowhere, but everyone at home is counting on us.”

     “Look at you being Mr. ‘Murca. What’s gotten into you?”

     “Johan was right, he was right the whole time, we’re out here putting our lives on the line so everyone else at home can stay safe.”

     “That ams what I ams talking about!” Johan says as he high fives me.

     “I’m here to kick a*s and take names, I intend to go home alive.”

     “It does not matter to me, as long as I serve my country proud, I can say that I did my best, and I have no regrets.”

     “That’s beautiful, Johan.”

     “I think you’re both f*****g nuts.” Leo says. “I’m only here to kill some sand n*****s.”

     “Haha, right on, my Aryan brother, f**k those sand n*****s!” Jon says. That guy is such a racist dick. Leo is just full of hate in general, Jon is just racist for the sake of being racist, he’s even one of those douchebags that has the Confederate flag and a Swastika tattooed on him.

     “Hey Jon, what do you think of the possibility of a black president?” I ask.

     “I hope that n****r gets assassinated at the front gate during his inauguration ceremony if he’s elected.”

     “If you die in battle, I hope your wife marries a black Mexican.”

     “F**k you spacker.”

     “Do I really need to reprimand you two?” My CO, Kait says.

     “No, sir.” We say. It’s still weird to me to call a woman sir, but the military’s weird I guess.

     “Alright, pack up, we’re being relocated.” So, we do just that and start heading off through the desert. “I need someone up front to sweep for any mines that might be buried in the sand. All of this nothing provides the perfect cover for anything. Jose, get out there.” Jose does as he’s told and starts sweeping. We reach our new destination pretty easily, nothing was in the way. So, we set up, and a bunch of people are sent into town for supplies. Stec comes up to me.

     “Need anything?” He asks.

     “A skin rag and a carton of smokes.” I tell him. Yeah, I started smoking, but there’s not a lot to do in the desert. “Oh, and a couple bottles of liquor.”

     “Anything else?”

     “Nope.” So he leaves and gets in the truck and head out. I break out a deck of cards. “Alright, who’s going to get their asses whooped today?” I laugh. Jose suddenly stands up and starts running diagonally to catch up with the truck. “I guess he forgot to tell Stec something.” He almost catches up with the truck when hear a distant explosion and watch his body ragdoll up into the air and come back down. “Oh s**t, he’s dead.” Kait gets on the radio and tells the truck to stop until they can make sure their path is clear. She sent Harry and Ed to go do it, poor souls. They came back a couple hours later with a map of where the mines are, carrying Jose’s body. They put him in the medical tent and the doctor, Lisa, does her report, and though the blast took off his legs, it was the impact of coming back down that killed him. See, out of everything out there in the world, what scares me the most is actual danger. I’ve actually been as careful as I can be so far, I don’t need to die in this godforsaken place. We had our funeral, and sent him home. It’s not the first time I’ve seen someone die here, and it probably won’t be the last. “How are you guys doing?” I ask the day after everything with Jose is taken care of.

     “I’m so freaked out, that could’ve been me, I forgot something too.” Jesse says, with a lisp.

     “Like, what, anal lube?” Eric jokes.” I swear, with as much as that guy talks about asses, you’d think he was gay too. He makes fun of Jesse more than anyone here. We all know he’s gay, but don’t ask don’t tell is in effect, so unless it becomes a problem, nobody will do anything about it. It’s just as well, we need people. We’re one of the smaller units out here and we’re minus one. I’m sure they’ll send us people eventually, but we gotta deal with what we got.

     “No, smarty pants, I’m low on smokes too, now I gotta wait another week.”

     “Ah, so you need small dicks in your mouth?”

     “Shut the f**k up before I kill you.”

     “Bring it on, f****t.”

     “You know what I think? I think you like me, and you want my c**k in your a*s.”

     “Shut up, no I don’t!”

     “Guys, its too hot for this f*****g bullshit!” Kait complains.

     “Sorry, sir.” They say.

     “I say just kill all the f**s and be done with it.” Jon says.

     “Dude, do you really have to be such a bigot?” I ask.

     “Look, it’s just not right, white and straight, that’s what America means to me.”

     “What do you even have against people of color and gays?”

     “They’re all immigrants or former slaves, and the others are hated by God. Jesus is my copilot and there’s no room for f**s on his boat.”

     “Damn, you really need to get out more.”

     “The f**k you talking about?”

     “It’s 2007, you should be used to this, all of this by now.”

     “Just cause it’s normal doesn’t make it right, I mean, come on, who ever heard of a n****r American president? Hundred bucks says that guy is Muslim, he’s a f*****g terrorist.”

     “What makes you think any of that?”

     “Duh, look at his middle name, Hussein. Got terrorist written all over it, watch, he’s gonna destroy the country. By the time he’s done with it, we’ll all be living in a police state, martial law.”

     “Damn, so if an old, white Republican isn’t in charge, it means the whole country will go to hell?”

"You're goddamn right."
“What about Clinton? He was a Democrat.”

     “Yeah, and he got a blowjob under the desk. Some leader.”

     “So you really think Bush is doing a great job, don’t you?”

     “Hell yeah, and McCain will too, cause that n****r don’t belong there. It’s the WHITE house, not the black house.”

     “You’re such a piece of s**t, Jon.”

     “Bite me, spacker.”

     “Guys! Come the f**k on! Do I need you to do pushups in the sand? You’re adults, act like it.” Kait says.

     “Yes, sir.” We say.

     “You knows, you focus on too little things Yon.” Johan says.

     “What are you talking about?” Jon says.

     “Who was it, I think its was Martin Luther King who said ‘I have a dream that-‘“

     “Yeah, yeah, we all know the n****r quote, so what?”

     “You don’t think that maybes he ams right?”

     “I don’t trust anything a n****r says.”

     “How dids you even get this far without being kicked out for being an a******s?”

     “I repressed it till I got deployed, I’ve been letting loose since, I’ve been holding in so many ‘n*****s’ and ‘spics’ and ‘f**s’ and ‘towel heads’ and…”

     “Alright, I’m sick of listening to your s**t, drop and give me a hundred.” Kait says.

     “Are you f*****g serious?”

     “NO! MOVE IT!” He drops, and as he’s doing his pushups, she keeps her boot pressed down on his back.

     “You know, it’s hard for me to do a full pushup with your boot on my back.”

     “I’m sorry, you’re right, it IS uncomfortable.” So she sits on his back instead.

     “Goddammit.”

     “Glad to see you ams tolerant of people, Samson.” Johan tells me.

     “Yeah, well, I’m used to all sorts of people, so nobody bothers me.”

     “Yeah, except those s***s we beat up in school.” Leo says.

     “Yeah, I don’t know, looking back, maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean.”

     “The f**k you talking about? They deserved it.”

     “You think so?”

     “Yeah, just look at the degenerates they turned into.”

     “What do you mean?”

     “They dropped out and became drug addicts.”

     “Oh s**t, I didn’t know that, after a while, I just kinda stopped caring, I was focused on other s**t. Besides, I was too busy getting in trouble with you.”

     “Haha, yeah, fun times.”

     “Haha, like trashing the principal’s car.”

     “Yeah, those were the days… now we get to kill things!”

     “You’re a little too excited about that.”

     “You seem surprised.”

     “I thought you’d be over that by now.”

     “No, it’s still there, possibly stronger than ever. I’m itchy to just-“ He pulls out his gun and points it at me. “-pow!” He whispers, pointing it at everyone at the table and repeating his ‘pow’s. He re-holsters his weapon. “I hope we see some action soon, this is getting boring.”

     “A guy blew up the other day, and you’re bored?”

     “Yeah, it was a tease.”

     “He was one of ours!”

     “Exactly, I felt like I had to shoot someone to even things out, but we had no enemies, I got an adrenaline rush for nothing, I’M BORED!” He slams his fist hard on the table.”

     “Easy, these are folding tables, not your grandmother’s mahogany.”

     “Ooh, that was a nice table.”

     “Yeah, it was.”

     “F**k. I’m pissed off now.”

     “You needs to calm down, go sees Lisa.” Johan whispers.

     “Yeah, yeah, ok.” He goes into the tent. “I need something to calm me down.”

     “Here, take em. One at a time, I don’t need another O’D in here, f*****g Eric. He didn’t listen to me and, well, yeah, you were there.” Lisa says.

     “Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

     “Anything else? Got a boo boo that needs mommy’s kisses or a tummyache?” she says sarcastically.

     “Can I at least mix it with alcohol?”

     “As a doctor, I would tell you no, but you’re probably going to do it anyway, nobody listens to me and then I end up having to save their asses.”

     “Yeah, yeah, I got it.” He exits the tent and rejoins us. “Ya know, Johan, I gotta say, for a foreigner, you’re all right.”

     “Yeah, that’s cause he’s white.” Jon says.

     “I knows you are feeling better when you says that.” Johan says.

     “You, you and Samson are the real reason I’m still alive.”

     “What ams you talking about?”

     “I’m a f*****g wreck, I hate everything, I hate myself, all I wanna do is destroy, that’s why I’m here. I’ve almost killed twice in my life before I even came here.”

     “Twice?” I ask.

     “Yeah, you were there. Remember, I threw the rock?”

     “Yeah, that I remember. Why are you saying twice?”

     “Kat.”

     “What?” Me and Johan say at the same time.

     “S**t, you didn’t know about that?” We both shake our heads. At this point, the rest of the unit around us stops what they’re doing to listen. “When Kat told me she had an abortion, I freaked out, I wanted to be a dad, I really did. But she went ahead and told me she wasn’t having a psychopath’s baby, and I just- I just started to choke her.” He says softly, mostly to himself, making the motion with his hands. “Tighter and tighter, I squeezed pretty hard, when her body went limp, I stopped. I thought I killed her, so I ran.”

     “She didn’t press charges?”

     “No, I never heard a word about it since, I’m assuming she’s afraid of me, and knowing I’m here probably makes her feel safe. It’s just as well, but I don’t know how I’m gonna adjust when I get home.”

     “We’re all wondering how we’re going to adjust. Who knows? Maybe you’ll turn out the sanest out of all of us.” I laugh, he laughed, he told me he felt better.

     “I don’t know how I could ever survive without you guys, I’d probably be dead by my own hand.”

     “Amen to that, brother.” Tyler says.

     “As longs as we ams with you, you’ll be fine.” Johan says.

     “We’re in a warzone, what if you guys die first? I’d have nobody holding me back, I don’t respect these guys as much as I do to you, you guys have been there forever, you’re the ones I trust most.” Leo says.

     “Now come on, guys, we gonna play or keep bullshitting?” I ask.