Nice Guys

We are always told "nice guys finish last", and maybe that's why the one girl I have ever loved didn't love me back but I will never stop being a "nice guy" if it helps those I care about

They say that nice guys finish last
So I guess that's what I'll do
Because if it helps you finish first
My arrow will stay true

I'll always be here to catch you
Whenever you fall
And I hope to be the one
Who helps break down your wall

I'm trying to be a better man
So I can help you out
And I will still be right there helping
If you choose a different route

You're the only one I've ever loved
And I don't want that to change
But you're in control, my hands are cuffed
I'm a target on your shooting range

Because if nice guys finish last
I'd have it no other way
Even though it hurts, it's worth the pain
To make sure you're okay

I'm broken on the side of the road
I watch as you drive past
I'm just there so I can fuel up your tank
And make your happiness last

I don't want to be forgotten
Because I will never forget
But if you forget me, don't forget yourself
I don't want you to lead a life of regret

So once in a blue moon, please think of me
I don't need much but it would be nice
Think of the good times we shared
Before we said our goodbyes

But nice guys don't finish last
In fact we don't finish at all
We hold on and we don't let go
We smile lightly as we begin to bawl

Nice guys know what it means to truly love
We see everything and we know good from bad
And yes, we may not end up on top
But we are lost in memories of the good times we had

Every moments a gift, every thought a dream
I'm always dreaming of you, holding on to your presents
Because I may not end up with you, but at least I had you
And I never will let go of your essence

Author's Note

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem. Please feel free to leave a review, I would love to learn how to strengthen my writing!

Reviews

[kitty blur]

My goodness, what a nice little poem you have here. The progression of the "nice guys finish last" concept worked to your advantage, and the slightly different wording of it made it seem less repetitive and more directional - it starts as IF nice guys finish last idea and ends with the confirmation that nice guys DON'T finish at all. Very powerful, in my opinion. The beginning seems hopeful and reminiscent, and the conclusion seems remorseful. It made me commiserate with you, as well. I've had those feeling for someone - hell, I still have those feelings - and I like how you conveyed your message in an understandable and direct way.

If I may critique: there are some rhythmic issues throughout where I think changing some words or omitting some could make the syllables in each line flow a little better. For instance, the second-to-last stanza seems a little wordy in comparison to the other stanzas. Another small thing, in the last stanza, is a misspelling of the word 'presence'. Small little things, hope I wasn't too harsh.

Favorite line: "I'm a target on your shooting range". Such a perfect visual, explains such a universal feeling in a new way that I really enjoyed. Thank you.

I'm looking forward to reading more from you. :) I hope writing this all out helped you sort through and cope with some of your feelings.

[Darian B.]

First, I would like to thank you for reviewing and critiquing my poetry. Ive been going through some of my older poetry and I am going to try and fix this one as well. As for the presence vs presents situation, I actually intentionally used the word presents. If you look at the line before I used that word, I mentioned that every moments a gift and I was following that motif whilst still holding the double meaning of her presence itself. Again though, thank you for critiquing, I will see what I can do to strengthen stanza length and I am glad you enjoyed it. These poems really do help me with my feelings and sharing them helps even more.

[kitty blur]

Oh, I understand what you meant now. How could I have missed that?? Clever wordplay. :)

[Morgan Yai]

This is a great poem. I can definitely relate to it, and I'm sure may others could as well. I do like the progression of it. At the beginning, the reading is lead to believe there might be a chance with the one the writer loves, but towards the end, we found out that it is highly unlikely and that he may never see his love again. How sad. I also love the idea of nice guys finishing last and we are able to really connect to the writer when he begins to realize that, perhaps, nice guys do not finish at all. I really enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing, and I will absolutely read other pieces you have written.

[Michaela Moerke]

Once again you did it.. I am at a loss for words. All I really can say is that whatever girl you help across the finish line (or boy, just incase) will be extremely and incredibly lucky to have someone as helpful as you and as giving as you supoorting them 100%

[ParTyGoD]

this is a perfect example of nice guys finish las. Considering your acceptance your position but still holding onto something that will probably end up hurting you. Im new here but over at eliteskills many people said it was the longing laced throughout my work that drew in attemtion and i can totally see that in this piece.

Definately my favorite part:

You're the only one I've ever loved
And I don't want that to change
But you're in control, my hands are cuffed
I'm a target on your shooting range

Like kitty blur said there are some parts where the syllable counts may be off but hey no ones perfect, and when it's raw emotion pouring out and naturally forming into a real poem then hey who cares.

[William Liston]

Great work. I loved the emotion in this poem. Keep being a nice guy, and keep writing these nice poems.

-William Liston