Tear Me Apart

Tear Me Apart

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Tear me apart
and glue me together

So what if a few pieces
have gone missing?

So what if a few pieces
have been misplaced?

So what if a few pieces
have been put upside down?

Tear me apart
but glue me together

Turn me into a puzzle
and carve me open

Cut me
Cut me into multiple pieces

Feel free with the sizes
Feel free with the shapes
Feel free with the dimensions

Feel free

To tear me apart.

Tear me with a knife
a dagger

Tear through me with a shotgun
or your hands

Plunge your nails into my bowels
and litter out their secrets

Tear me apart
and enjoy

Enjoy the sight
Enjoy the act

Enjoy

Enjoy the feeling.

Tear me

Tear me with the laser of your eyes
the anger of your face

Lacerate me
leave your marks
leave a scar

Tear me apart

I don't like being transparent.

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Would that unconditional love? Any behaviour is better than being ignored...

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

:)

My Review

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Featured Review

Honestly, this:

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

should be part of the poem!

This is really good. The whole idea of breaking things to put them back together again is really good. It reminds me of how sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed... and much more. Here are a few things that I noticed. Mind you, they are just suggestions, no more.

- The "so what" part seems a little disjointed. Experiment with listing them or something, and add more, maybe some that contradict each other! That part of the poem is awesome.

- There are a few words that I think ould be trimmed down that would make the poem flow more. Example: "Tear me apart,/ but glue me back together," you don't need "but". Another: Cut me/ Cut me into pieces. In some places, the repetition is good, but others. Let the words imply and carry though and repeat themselves in the mind of the reader.

- One thing that I thought would fit was "cut me with your tongue." lol. Just a thought... sorry. There are so many things that could "cut a person apart" in a relationship. I knew someone who had to get stitches from their fiance's toe nail! Just saying.

Loved this. Thank you. The carefree, but serious implications of this poem make my heart happy. Love is a dissection table. You can only hope you don't become a Frankenstein in the end.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great Phylosophy Oriented beauty, this poem is a masterpiece of you..... thanks for sharing..............

Posted 12 Years Ago


A portrate of love that is tainted. Hurtful and brass and dystructive. Great portraite of what love should not be or feel like. Awsome. I lke the way you express in write.

Posted 12 Years Ago


So painful and deep.

Posted 12 Years Ago


are u in a great sorrow friend...?? but nice written
read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".



Posted 12 Years Ago


I feel so much pain in this piece , conveyed so well .... i hope all the pieces merge into a whole remember the one who tares apart is the one who feels torn ....

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wonderful deep poem and great words to convey the message, great job!!

Posted 12 Years Ago


"Tear me apart
and glue me together"
A beautiful and deep poem...Very well said... :)))

Posted 12 Years Ago


A very interesting and deep poem to read. I enjoy your writing very much!

Posted 12 Years Ago


i enjoy the meaning of the poem. Very poetically tragic and unconditional faithfulness.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Wonderful job! love is like that in so many ways and yeah sometimes it hurts it's pain carved into our souls. Good write! I loved it.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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56 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 10, 2011
Last Updated on September 10, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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