the girl

trying to capture the completeness of natures beauty

she closes her eyes and inhales

deeply trusting

in her own  ability to recall and

to see the roses clearly

nearly bleeding to death

as the thorns slow her breath

and she realizes

the truth of pain and

drops the rose again.

Reviews

[perfectlymetiKulous]

This was lovely...
The innocence of the girl, taking in nature; ignoring the pain of the thorns until they refuse to be ignored any longer.
I see the words to mean that trust given to the wrong thing/person in a naive, yet knowing way can only lead to what you have already anticipated, which is pain.
It was an eloquent, rather melancholy piece. Hopefully I didn't misinterpret it.

[Lady V]

How beautiful are we as women that our comparison with a simple rose is right on point. This piece is amazing and I applaud your wisdom through words on this one.


Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[Lydia]

Very beautifully written, I really enjoyed how your rhymes flow in and out very naturally, rather than following a strict scheme. I definitely enjoyed this piece.

[April Child]

You have some lovely expression here..

"her past led her to be the care taker of a grey garden" this line just took me there.

"once again she chooses to partake
and once again she chooses to forsake
the rationale and all the why's
and live untill she dies
just like
the rose"

Great ending, full of hope and maybe some insanity to keep repeating the behaviour that brings her to this painful place, just as we all do in life. Great poem.

[QuietPoet]

Wow, this was deep.. It seems to have more to it. But its a beginning of something great. I enjoyed this.