The Circle

A cycle of heartache and terrible coping mechanisms; young stupid love and an even stupider boy.

I’m constantly drinking

I mean - overthinking

About you

You.

I’m crazy; hungover - when will this be over

With you?

You.

But, how can there be an end?

When we didn’t even begin

It’s like a vicious circle;

All I do is walk in circles

When thinking about you

You.

I’m constantly drinking

I mean - overthinking

About you

You. 

I’m crazy; hungover - please let this be over

With you

You. 

But, how can we close a door

That’s never been open before? 

It’s like a vicious circle;

All I do is walk in circles

When thinking about you

You.

And then I think about

All the times

Oh the times

When you’d leave me all alone

All alone.

So alone.

I’m alone. 

The anger in your eyes

Your eyes.

When I’m held by someone new.

Someone new.

That’s not you.

Not you. 

And I hate that you act like you own me

Your friends show up - now you don’t know me

Screw you!

You.

And yet, I can’t stop thinking about you

Write my songs - they’re all about you.

Yes I do. 

And while you think it over

I’m with someone new - we are over.

F**k you.

Author's Note

I was 19 going on 20 when I thought the butterflies in my stomach meant I was in love. The subject in question and I played a tiring game of cat and mouse for the next three years. When he finally gathered the courage to confess his feelings for me, I had already moved on.

This poem was written when I was at my lowest of lows. Heartache mixed with pining. Questions whether they love you back... Will they ever love you back?

Reviews

[Nix is typing...]

OH MY GOD MARIJA!!! I fell sooo in love with this one!!! I can't tell if this is just a song or a poem, but either way, I LOVE IT!!!!!!! From the first, "I'm constantly drinking" to the last "F**k you" I was extremely CAPTIVATED. Love Love Love!!!! 100/100!!!!

[spacelava]

Thank you Nix! It originally started out as a song (I still remember the melody till this day and sometimes sing it to myself when bored lol) but the more I wrote the less it sounded good melody wise??? Idk I'm not really a musician xD I'm so so happy you liked it 🥺♥

[whatrachelwrites]

This is utterly amazing. strong, very modern age Sylvia Plath. I love it. Well done.

[spacelava]

Oh my god 😭 I read your review while at work and the way it made my day ten times better! Can't thank you enough for the lovely comparison (even though I feel unworthy, she was THE poet). Thank you ♥🥺

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like the flow of thoughts and the perfect ending. My father told me, many moons ago. Best way to repair a heartbreak. Find a new woman. No weakness in the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[spacelava]

Thank you! Yes, moving on sometimes proves to be the answers, in my case it made things even worse, but hey - at least it provided me with inspiration for over a dozen songs and poems xD

[Coyote Poetry]

New songs. You done well dear poet and you are welcome.

[Tepo]

Almost heard the tune
Nice song
He seemed a bit slow to say the least
Fill of what ifs and if onlys
Sometimes we miss the boat
And are left to wonder
Enjoyed

[spacelava]

Thank you! Haha yeah, back then it seemed as if all teenage boys were a bit slow. Really happy you liked

[Chris Shaw]

Really enjoyed your take on unrequited love. It's all in the timing isn't it? So often the timing can be out of sorts. That over thinking, when we are consumed with thoughts of another can be painful. Like where you went with this. Cat and mouse play never ends happily from what I have seen.

Chris

[spacelava]

You've said it so beautifully - timing is tricky but the thoughts that consume us are even trickier. I'm really happy you enjoyed my little poem xx

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[Vicki T.]

This is a beautiful poem that absolutely begs for music! I absolutely love it! The pain of love lost doesn’t always provide the world with beautiful music, but this one rings true for so many.

[spacelava]

Your lovely words have my day ♥ Thank you dear

[Audie G. Couch]

This made me think about a time when I was in love with a girl who was all wrong for me.
The heart doesn't listen to reason, or logic sometimes.
Very good work. =-)

[spacelava]

Yeah, the heart tends to have /questionable/ taste at times lol but sometimes, it tends to get it right. ++ Thank you so much for your kind words :3

[Audie G. Couch]

Your welcome, and that is very true. =-)

[Light and ashes]

This is good. I really enjoyed reading.

[spacelava]

It makes me really happy that you enjoyed it! Thank you :3

[Light and ashes]

I did, you're welcome :)