Spring Flowers.

Spring Flowers.

A Poem by Sydney Evans
"

A poem about something I love, flowers.

"

I await when the snow shall melt.

I want the sun to shine.

The heat of the spring is what needs felt.

One of nature's best designs.

 

The grass will grow green.

The mariposas will fly.

The sounds will be serene,

and so will be the sky.

 

The flowers will reach.

They'll climb and climb.

Colors of purple, blue, and peach.

All it'll take is time.

 

They'll grow like years past.

They'll always return again.

I want the beauty to last.

Let's never have it end.

 

© 2011 Sydney Evans


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Reviews

"The heat of the spring is what needs felt." -- Doesn't make sense. Consider revising. Maybe something like "I recall last spring's warmth I felt."

"All it'll take is time." -- Using "All it takes is time" would make it flow better.

"They'll always return again." -- Maybe use instead "They always return again."

Again, you have a good concept, but it needs refining. You have a tendency to forfeit the meaning of your words for a rhyme, which is something that always takes away from the poem. While rhyming is an important aspect of flow, it's not entirely required. You should consider writing with syllables rather than rhymes, at least a few times, as a training exercise of sorts; it would help you let the creativity flow and get you to be more meaningful with your words.

Overall, this was okay. 85/100.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rhyme schemes are amazing. Lovely job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


YES!!! That is exactly what we need! I just want all this freakin snow to melt :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Aww Warm and sweet, just like the spring, The season of love!!! Great Job Sydney

Posted 10 Years Ago


Pros: I love flowers too, especially deep purple tulips. Never seen one? I highly suggest you Google it or something. They're amazing. As well as the Moonflower. All so very pretty. This poem captures the love of them perfectly!

Cons: None

Overall: I like this.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I could not agree more. I am sick of all the snow and am ready to be warm and see some flowers! Beautiful poem and I love all the images you painted with your words. Lovely write! Made me feel the warmth of Spring for a minute, thank you.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I agree with you. I would like Spring days years around. I like to see the first growth of spring. Mean warm days are coming. A beautiful and hopeful poem. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


Awww, pretty:) This makes me look forward to Spring!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Very nicely written. I like the simplicity of it. I fell the exact same right now too!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oooh....amazing


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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14 Reviews
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Added on February 7, 2011
Last Updated on February 7, 2011

Author

Sydney Evans
Sydney Evans

Eaton, OH



About
Hello, my name is Sydney Rayne Evans! I'm seventeen and love to write. more..

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