Across the Sands

The desert.

Long have I walked under the scorching sun.

Too much more of this heat and I’ll be done.

Burning and blazing with no end in sight.

Under the sun the world is fiery bright.

I’m searching for that ancient place of dreams,

Where empires rose up and roused their schemes.

The place where warriors fought and poets wrote,

The place I’ve come to make myself devote

To what once was and time did not forget,

The place that I will look upon just yet.

Soon I will see a place from within time,

Where the poets began their desert rhyme.

Author's Note

This is a first draft/work in progress. I jotted it down the other day. I can't tell if it's fine how it is, or if it needs more. It's about Persia and all the ancient desert empires.

Reviews

[Natalie Amidon]

The tone was set wonderfully in the beginning and continued throughout of a magical place lost in time. Very well written! :)

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you very much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Dr. Dub]

Based on your bio, I am gathering that this is a war poem. I am left wanting to know where the speaker will end up when "soon" comes. I wonder if the "scorching sun" is also a state of mind?

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Yes and no. The vast majority of my poems were written down range, so I know that that reflects in what I write, whether I mean for it too or not. I know a lot of good yet underrated poets came from the middle east, and I was getting to see that part of the world for the first time. Thanks for reviewing.

[Melanie Genevieve]

This was really cute. I really enjoyed the flow of it and I love the imagery of deserts in poetry for some reason heehee. good write :)

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thank you. I really wasn't sure what to do with this little piece. I couldn't decide if it was fine how it was or if it needed to be a part of something bigger. Glad that you liked it.

[stars are far]

That was a great piece to read
wonderful

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Thanks, glad that you liked it.

[stars are far]

my pleasure

[Sam]

It has a very druid feel.I like it so where ever you take this poem I will follow. It is your masterpiece done when you say it is. ;) sorry I am not more help than that but it is hard not knowing the flow you are looking for. I like the title.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

No it's fine. Like I said, I can't tell if I should ad more to it, or leave it how it is.

[Sam]

:) Hmmmm. That is a problem let me think on it for a little bit and I will tell you my opinion.

[Sam]

Well if you read it out loud like I just did it sounds good. It has a great flow a gentle flow like the winds over the desert sands. My favorite parts are:
I’m searching for that ancient place of dreams,
Where empires rose up and roused their schemes.
The place where warriors fought and poets wrote,"
and
"Where the poets began their desert rhyme."
Something mystical about that. Pretty nice.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Nice. I hadn't tried reading out loud yet, so there's that. And I'm glad that you liked those lines.

[Sam]

Oh? Are they your favorite too?

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

It's all the same to me really. Haha. I enjoyed writing it and it expresses what I was feeling at the time, which is mainly that I'd be AWESOME to meet those old poets Hafez and Rumi. Masters.

[Sam]

Oh ya... to see where they wrote and where they walked. Would be a sight to see.