her fingers love me most

her fingers love me most barely seeking me

closely follow i across my clavicles her fingernails continue

the night passes the window outside 

i am a surrendering enclave and witness to her song

where she tends sometimes to allow me a verse contributed

but not to sing along she insists 

her fingers conduct lightening from endless eyes upon me

still seeking always finding and i in sweet release

like blooms in spring opening gradually in high speed video

she knows all the time she has me as i never will have her

but with smiles as great as my disgrace i linger

shamelessly counting the strokes of her seeking fingertips

on my clavicles on each electric vertebrae spine things

where i forget that i exist and there is nothing more than letting her

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

I like this. Might I be so bold as to suggest a reworking of the first line, last stanza, something like substituting "on my clavicles as each electric vertebrae spine tingles?" or something of that nature? The "things" is off kilter - or maybe you wanted it that way. Up to you, but of course.

[Ahena MK]

"her fingers conduct lightening from endless eyes upon me
still seeking always finding and i in sweet release
like blooms in spring opening gradually in high speed video"
ahena :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you for reading :)

[Justine]

Fingers are great sensual tools and sometimes they can read a body like a book in braille. I love the line "her fingers conduct lightening from endless eyes upon me" - superb. Well written and an enjoyable read :) Justine

[m.s.early]

(: thank you Justine :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you Justine :)

[B. Maaitah]

Your piece is very expressive and well penned, it's very often where sometimes great pleasure comes from pleasing...

The poem flowed nicely and had an allure to it, it was taunting, dramatic, and emotional all at once

well done :)

[m.s.early]

Thank you 'B'. What a gracious review.

[B. Maaitah]

You're most welcome... and the B stands for Bushra my name, it's Arabic it translates to Glad Tidings