Harper

CHAPTER 2

HARPER

As I sit with Aunt Gina, Leah, Claire, and Matt at Cove Bar and Restaurant in downtown Miami, I watch Aunt Gina talk to Matt, and Leah and Claire completely wrapped up in a major conversation. We are out to celebrate my big day, Claire’s too, yet I am the one who feels like I’m on the outside looking in. I’m sitting here listening, as they all have separate conversations about what’s going on in their lives and what is next. They seem to have the next phase of their lives all figured out, which makes it even harder. I can’t quite bring myself to participate, but I remind myself I have to, need to at least try more than I am. They are going on start thinking something is really wrong with me pretty soon, besides the obvious of course.

Suddenly, my aunt stops talking to Matt, looks over to me, and smiles her always-sincere smile. “I think this will be such a good transition for you, Harper. You can start fresh and focus on your photography. The stress of school and work are over, so it should be the perfect time,” she said.

I take a bite of my burger and nod. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

 “Maybe you can start applying at some places back home after you get settled in with me. I’ll help you look for some studios and any other types of businesses you’re interested in working for.”

I force a smile at my aunt, knowing she always means well. “Thanks, Aunt Gina. I appreciate it. Who knows what’ll happen. Maybe I won’t be doing exactly what I thought.”

Gina nods and smiles, not really knowing what I mean. “Well, whatever you decide, I’m glad you will be staying with me and getting adjusted for awhile. Remember, my house is your home as long as you want and need.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Just not sure what my plan is exactly after we move out of the apartment tomorrow. I’m coming to stay with you, but things might work out differently than I thought.” I take another bite of food and avoid everyone’s eyes on me. I know they’re all surprised at what I just said, since they thought I would move in with my aunt, live there for a significant amount of time, and get a good job as a photographer I’m not sure that’s what I have in mind anymore, but I can’t come out and say that yet.

I feel my sister staring at me. “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask her.

Leah shakes her head. “Nothing. I just thought you had everything planned out. Why do you sound so unsure all of a sudden?”

“Well, Leah, I wonder. Why do you think? Everything has changed, since I had last planned what I was going to be doing. It all seems different now and not as important. I’m not gonna sit at Aunt Gina’s and be depressed, if that’s what you’re worried about, or at least that’s not my plan”

Leah looks down, as if thinking before she speaks. “No, Harper. That’s not what I’m worried about. I just don’t want you to change your plans now because of what happened. You have a lot to look forward to now that you’re done with school. I’m worried you’ll let everything fall apart, because you don’t want to continue your path to what you had planned.

“I’ve spent my whole life planning everything, and it really hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I think it’s the right time to stop planning so much, and let things happen the way they’re supposed to. Maybe I’ll find out that things aren’t supposed to work out the way I had planned.”

Leah turns to Claire, “Has she mentioned any of this to you?”

Claire shakes her head.

“I don’t even know how long I’ll stay around here. Maybe I should try living somewhere new.”

Leah interrupts, “What? Now you want to move? After everything that’s happened to our family?”

“Sometimes it can be for the best. Look at what Matt’s doing. It’s working out for him. He’s moving to New York and just got a great job there.”

Matt puts his drink down. “Well, don’t go by me, but sometimes it can be good to make some big changes. You never know, but I’m not saying one way or the other. That’s all up to you, Harp.”

Aunt Gina interrupts, “I’m sure she won’t let everything she’s worked toward fall apart. Maybe Harper just needs some time. Maybe we all do. I think everyone’s a little tense, and we should just be trying to celebrate and make the best of this day.” Gina takes the last bite of her chicken sandwich and holds her glass up. “Cheers to Harper and her amazing accomplishment!”

We all hold up our glasses, “Cheers!”

I look over to my aunt. “Thanks, Aunt Gina.”

She smiles at me, reassuring me that things will work out somehow. I don’t know how they’ll work out or when they’ll work out, but it helps that she believes in me. It doesn’t seem like she thinks I’m crazy or falling apart. Leah, however, might never understand.