Canvas

You're being blamed for something you didn't do and now all you feel is nothing

lying down on the cold floor

how much more ill will will be poured in me

there's that particular pain in the throat again

feeling of being blamed, terrified, helpless

selling tears, just seeking for a sense of touch 

then endlessly giving away every whim

and there's a heavy part in me

feels empty with a dry shadow

the rainbow divine was just a dream

never knew it would lead me to this place

feels like i am lost in this maze

at the end of which i could find myself again

but how can i get the dry sand for the castles

i've been driven to that phase of cruelty

where all the laws have been threatened 

and right now every deep cut under my skin is wheezing fear

my stumbling blocks are blatantly accused 

my presence feels inanimate

suddenly the weight inside seems like a past

present is just a blow of numbness in my head

the sensational territory has become a hollow space

and like i've been detached to reality

feeling unmoored, scared, inappropriate 

my soul is like a blank space

searching for harmonies

but its not inclined to be just a white canvas

and so it'll be waiting to find the artist again

Author's Note

this is something really personal.. tell me what you think about it.. i'll be waiting for the comments!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

All of us are a empty canvas. We are painting who we are and who will we be.
"my soul is like a blank space
searching for harmonies
but its not inclined to be just a white canvas
and so it'll be waiting to find the artist again"
I liked the above lines and I believe. Our canvas is ever-changing and we will find our proper place someday. Thank you dear Grace for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[grace]

You are right! Our canvas is ever-changing.. Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

We are always changing dear Grace and you are welcome.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Same critique: no need to keep repeating what has been said already in the poem. Find a totally different story in the next line. If the previous line is about heartache make the next line about fishing for trout or shopping for a new job and let your subconscious figure out how they are connected.
I’ve changed my account to disallow read requests as I was being inundated. I will respond to messages if not overdone.

[FGFRANKLIN]

I understood the surreal feeling expressed in this, the sadness, the self-doubt and the lost feeling of abandonment. The gentle reader wishes the protagonist to find rest and peace and security in a world where love doesn't have to be proven but reveals itself often. I enjoyed the read.

[NelliKong]

I love and appreciate how vulnerable you were in this this piece. I felt all of the words in this poem. You made me feel ever word that was on the screen. Continue to write your truth as a writer. I can't wait to see what else you create.

[grace]

oh dear, i thank you from the bottom of my ink-stained heart for such kind words! I'm grateful to you for encouraging me and for taking the time to read my poem :)

[Vol]

Grace,
Might be a sculptor, a painter, poet, or even you...
Vol

[grace]

Thank you so much for reading my poem :)

[Vol]

GRACE,
Your images are tight and effective,
"there's that particular pain in the throat again"
everybody knows that feeling.
And I've never seen despair so beautifully described...
"but how can i get the dry sand for the castles
i've been driven to that phase of cruelty
where all the laws have been threatened
and right now every deep cut under my skin is wheezing fear
my stumbling blocks are blatantly accused
my presence feels inanimate."
WOW!
Vol

[grace]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm truly grateful.

[Chris Shaw]

We are all a blank canvas dear grace. Some days I am a Turner, others a Monet, occasionally a Rembrandt and I’ve even found my Picasso. Emotions paint pictures. This piece full of imagery for me. I enjoyed my visit.

Chris

[grace]

Thank you so much for reading it, dear Chris! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Writergurl]

a lot of emotions through out your writes, well expressed

[grace]

Thank you so much! 💓

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Grace… we are a blank Canvas and some of us have Stormy strokes of thunder and lightening .. a beautiful Painting that becomes a Masterpiece. gently, Pat

[grace]

Thank you so much for reading it dear Pat! I'm grateful for your appreciation:)

[shadrach hah]

Hi Grace, another outstanding write from your golden pen. You paint such strong visions with your deep words. Your words ever sing deep into the well of emotions. We are all a blank canvas, Grace, we paint that canvas with so many new colours as we go through life, each nuance is a stronger or lighter stroke of the brush. May your colours be bright. Have a wonderful Wednesday. Hugs always....Mike.

[grace]

omg thank you so much Mike!! May ur colors be bright too!!

[shadrach hah]

Hi Grace, you are so welcome. May your colours ever be bright and plentiful. Have a wonderful evening. Hugs always....Mike.

[Shelley Warner]

Wow, Grace, you're just 15 and you're expressing your deepest emotions. I can hear pain and maybe abuse toward you (or the narrator). I like the hopeful ending that you are a canvas with the art ready to be painted. I hope you continue with your writing and if you go to college in a few years, major in English with a writing emphasis. I went back to college in my 60's and really enjoyed writing classes and literature classes.

[grace]

Thank you so much Shelly for reviewing and appreciating it!! :)

[Shelley Warner]

Happy to do it