Anonymous

Event unexplainable to this day I believe was the turning point and trigger for this disease to take a full swing. Our parents make us stay busy because their parents did and so forth but in the 90s is when it seemed to fade out with a large majority following. Growing up in a society where drinking is acceptable and the norm as where drugs are the enemy. Drugs are illegal of course and alcohol is still to this day illegal in parts of our country. Speed became very popular in the 80s not just between users/drug addicts but anyone who was interested in working long hard hours, losing weight, or simply controlling their alcohol intake. Some believe it makes them focus better and in small amounts yes maybe that is true, but with this drug there is never ever a way to tell how it will

Affect people individually. Everyone's brain chemistry and their past history with other reasons I'm not educated to say. I know I grew up in an environment where all

Of this was accepted and brushed under the rug because of who was who. I learned at an early age what stayed in the home better stay or else. 

Needless to say, after being subjected to many things by my 16th year, all I cared

To do was play softball! I played basketball, track, cross country, been a gymnast from ages 5-14 and all I knew was competition and to be the best. Anything less than the best was failure in my eyes and I'm assuming those close to me. At eight years old when I got asked to put on catching equipment i remember thinking how cool it was to be different and still feel important. I began catching for my best friend in the second grade. Her sister was a beast so we were always hangin around. Our fifth grade year a woman came to us and asked if we would be interested in her coaching us since this was her specialty and we were in fast pitch now. From then on, we were dang near inseparable like family. Literally anytime anything was not good at home this is where I mostly went. We got good, really good. We were undefeated up until

The 8th grade then we got put on JV. A few games into the season, my best friends sister who was catching at the time because no one else could take our pitchers speed ball got knocked out at the plate pretty bad so our coach went thru a few players then asked me to get out there. I was terrified (my biggest fear is to fail). Long story short, I became the varsity catcher for the next three years! I loved softball, every bit of it! We had plans to go to college and play. They were already checking us out and very well

Could have landed a scholarship! 

In July 1999, after our big shin dig at the coaches house getting all Pumped for summer, we decide to get Sumin to drink, etc. (this book will be full disclosure) instead of etc. we got a bag to smoke too. As we were driving out of town we go down a small hill right past my house and the driver at the upcoming stop sign does not stop and presumes to hit us dead on. Her car was very fancy, I would detail it out but this book serves a person and angry ugly resentment will never resolve this bitterness I feel came alive after this. My kneecap was falling out along with a broke right wrist. Doctor did not see any sign of recovery anytime soon. I did my best to try and support my team, but my best friend was then put in my position and I could not deal anymore. 

For the next four months, I did nothing but try to numb it out. That is all I had going for me I thought at that time. It had identified me and now my friends and team were gone. All the pity got old and taking it out on God and everyone else who sincerely cared seemed to be only alternative. 

The New Years night of 99', we were at a friends with parents getting pretty tore down. I got asked to go to the bathroom

With the adults so I went. That said I'd be able to sober up a bit if i jus "tried" a little bit. No excuse but I was fairly intoxicated and coming back to the party sounded pretty enticing; on the other hand, I remember it like it was yesterday because my stomach turned in fear fear of how stupid I look but I was rest assured I'd be fine. They had my back. Well one problem being one of these ladies was a really close friend of mine who worked at court house her whole life and has her crap together. Single mom of three kids. In my mind I truly want to believe that she had no idea what that one bump would turn my world into. I remember my mom and it being around I also knew her not being around but either way we were taken care of for the most part I think. I have never felt hatred towards anyone and after this new glitter, my choice will always be my choice. Where we go wrong is our powerlessness to the first drink, use, negative energy/people. If you know what they know and would even begin to tell someone how it feels and what feels right/wrong, then you are doing much better than you did today. Comparisons r overrated and all that really matters is are you doing better today than you did yesterday and same for tomorrow. When you only compare yourself to yourself on the regular then only you know that today or any other day you dnt do one thing to improve then it's on you not anyone else. What is something to compare to one person maybe completely different than another but for one to choose to stay stagnant n complacent in all areas the that's on them n they fall way short of someone I would piss against. Not even worth the energy... Moving backwards is ugly n negative n it can trickle all around so beware to not fall into jus to make urself feel better about ur own crap...  

It is easy too easy to fall. 

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Ingredients research 

A=C