The Immortal Confession +

fiction, short story, confessional diary, historical philosophy.

One of my greatest gifts is also my greatest curse. Being ageless and flawless is a priceless beauty yet I say it’s an unending curse. You got to live each different life in each different centuries and ages of mere beings who outgrown time and you on the other hand keeps reliving each different era.

 

 Never do I, outgrown time, itself. I wish I was, yet I remain the same that many people would adore my undying being. 

 

This gift is not something to be proud of. Perhaps those days when I was still a young one, who enjoys life’s priceless experiences. I had been to the dark and to the light ages, both have disadvantages in dealing what is right from wrong. For several centuries I was guided by the light and another several centuries I was blinded by the dark. Then I came to the realization of neutralism to the point I trust my own judgment more than the light and dark’s wisdom. I learn to trust myself more than the people around me. I also come to realize that desire can be as ugly as it is beautiful. Mortals have many desires; it drives their will to survive, as well as to do the unthinkable circumstances possible. Like they say nothing is impossible, if there is a will there's a way. I had seen mortals do good ways as well as the bad. I survived catastrophic destructions; I died then reborn again with the very same knowledge intact in my brain like I am a super computer full of information. I remember every detail from the smallest fracture to the biggest yet. Sometimes I think my brain would overload with too much data, but no, it didn’t happen. I have died countless times and reborn on the next day as a child.

 

Every time I reach my full maturity, I die of natural or accidental causes. My full maturity is between 100 years of age in normal years of a human life. If I die then I wake up the next day as a new born. Retaining all my knowledge and experience about life, I remain unnoticed, like a new born I keep on pretending like it’s always my first time.The parents I came from says I am their gift from the gods and some say I am the great burden of their family. So I have been loved and hated through-out the centuries. To be loved is the greatest gift and to be hated is the greatest challenge. Then I say: the gods cursed me to have lived many countless lives in the past. Through-out time, no one has noticed me, no one has tracked my being, and no one has lived to see me get old. Being immortal doesn’t mean I don’t die. I am just like the legendary phoenix who dies and reborn in his ashes. It’s hard to track my existence, because when I die, I get reborn with no particular order in any family around the world.

 

+++

 

This is my life, my confession, my burden

my own immortal curse

…

 

 

Author's Note

credits goes to the talented photographer on his series of somnolence
SlevinAaron

photos used:
somnolence IV
somnolence


I started writing this out of the blue after I wrote "I am so blue". Out of everything, out of lonely blues, there is a time when a certain character would just speak up, pops out in your head, speaking as if he owns your head. Perhaps that is how characters are created in an authors mind. As he speaks, I go along to his feelings & emotions as if i am reliving the character himself. I think that is one of the joy why a writer writes...

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Hmmm, so interesting, a different cosmology based on reincarnation... I wonder if the lamas remember thier past lives ever... Anyway, this feels like a prologue of sorts, a step into a greater story, and makes me wonder, going forward... If all of these realizations have been achieved, truth, and trusting of self... What then, is left to learn? Even if one became "enlightened" does that mean no future experience carries any new lesson? what would you have to seek, what kind of person would you have to be, for immortality to not reach the point where you see it as a curse...
Cool story Pax!

[Pax]

Oh, my friend, you know me well. I do was planning to expand this but due to the time span of my attention in a story writing, for now it will remain a short story - an open end story. I feel like this story goes beyond more, its wide and quite epic in perspective, perhaps for now, I need more experience and more info. about things to be put in the story. Lamas, now I need to research on that too, its new to my ears.

I am so glad with your profound questions. Those question will remain unanswered for now, you point is taken to mind my friend. YOu have given me a great gift of insight my friend, I so appreciate that.

[Horizon K.]

By lamas, I am referring to the spiritual leaders of Tibetan Buddhism, many of whom are essentially reincarnated and then found again ... The relationship between the Dalai Lama and Panchen Lama is particularly fascinating and a political flash point... Anyway, I'm always glad to be of any help!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Very philosophical, pensive work indeed! Immortality and mortality both have their pros and cons.

"I have died countless times and reborn on the next day as a child." I love this line! It combines the opposing principles of immortality and mortality flawlessly.

Thanks for posting up this interesting little story.

[Pax]

it is nice to see you my friend, thank you. I am glad you are enjoying this short story... yeah, i did incorporate those two, to add some depth in the story.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goes Cascading!)]

My pleasure...I was busy with college applications so I had to be on hiatus for a while.

[Daydreamer]

Writing offers us a chance to tap into our subconscious minds
Are they characters or are they pieces of ourselves as lives lived?..that is the question.
For the most part we are all part of the collective consciousness where these archetypes exist, which is why my undying immortal self could relate to this beautiful piece.
For everyone carries forth a part of themselves that remembers who they truly are.
~fellow traveler

[Pax]

Thank you Kim... you wave your words like poetry, I am glad you can see through in this piece.

[Tennessee]

reincarnation would be hell indeed, one life is plenty for me. I noticed how it seemed at first that you are a being that never died and then went to show it was about reincarnation. Kid you are good with words and you twist them into detailed sentences. It enlightens and shows a unique side of the world we rarely look upon. Not bad kid.

[Pax]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Shep]

It is exactly what it feels like when writing that the character is in your head and you have sometimes have no control. You feel every emotion as you give them life. The only problem is sometimes those characters do not know when to shut up or worst you have several fighting to be heard that you want to scream Awesome poem.

[Pax]

Thank you so much my friend. Yeah, indeed true... In my case, I only hear the scream if I have something boiling inside of me that needs to come out, poetry is quite a release infact... I am grateful you can relate to the feelings to its authors note...

[gabrielle]

The concept of reincarnation first came to mind when i read this. But then i set aside such concept for in reincarnation one could be reborn as human or animals without having full consciousness of what happened in the past. then i remembered the vampire movie that i read long time ago for the concept in this piece appears to fit the vampire's condition... i keep on thinking who could be this "immortal" making this confession. i even thought the probability that the one making the confession is not actually a person but a recurring emotions which all of us are capable of feeling....well, these are the things that came to mind while reading this intriguing piece. =). although, having witnessed the events of the past would give any person a good advantage and wisdom, i think that being immortal is a curse for it means that the person has also witnessed the world's worst tragedies.

[Pax]

wow, Gab, I adore your insights. And you've hit quite a spot, hehe, yup, you are right about the vampire's condition, I encorporated it into a new perspective of immortality.

ahh, I kept reading the perspective about the recurring emotions... perhaps because some part of it are mine, like I always said fragments of the soul. You know Gab, when I write a story, I can never really fabricate it all, even though its fantasy, you can't avoid it, you need something to make it more solid, to bring something in good perspective. smiles..

"having witnessed the events of the past would give any person a good advantage and wisdom, i think that being immortal is a curse for it means that the person has also witnessed the world's worst tragedies." ~ naks, kuwang, kuwa yung meaning, galing, and admirable critical thinking Gab... always a pleasure to hear from you, it is great!

[Pax]

thank you, Gab...

[gabrielle]

about the recurring emotions, i mentioned...weird lang mag-isip minsan. =)

i think love, happiness, passion or hate, anger are immortal...when one person die, he will take with him those emotions but with the birth of another person such feelings will surface again and again. thus, i correlated these feelings to immortality. lol.

welcome pax.

[Ahena MK]

wonderfully written... loved the way you began... enjoyed reading it... keep it up keep crafting

[Pax]

thank you!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hmmnn...Can be "Confession of an Immortal or An Immortal's Confession" (What is that +?)

* I also come to realized ----to realize

*Mortals have many desires; it drives their will------- which drive their will... (it refers to one thing, you are referring to many desires)

*a super computer of information-----computer is obviously a source of information

*between 100 years of age in normal mortal years of their lives-------"between 100 years of age" only (in normal mortal years of their lives- not necessary)

*Retaining all my knowledge and experienced about life,------and experience (it's not a verb here)

*like a new born I keep on pretend like--------I keep on pretending...

*To be love is the greatest gift -----to be loved

*he gods curse me -----cursed (to be parallel to the tense used)

Yan... I think I have done a meaningful review this time that I can't write. I'm not in the mood in reviewing but I owe you a lot. LOL

Anyway, I saw the title as interesting (fantasy) so I decided to read this piece. This is a brilliant concept, somehow I wanted to write something like this but never tried at all. This only means that you are a dynamic writer, Pax. You can write from different concepts (and genres) running inside your mind. I think there are some also "running" inside my mind but I cannot "catch" them for they are "too fast". Hehehe

Nice job, bro! I'm not after the grammar, I'll still give you the highest grade I can give to any writer here because I really like this in general.

[Pax]

about the '+' I call it a symbol, you know I am very symbolic If ever I could draw it here. Thanks much for the edition pretty friend. It is a great help. Its fantasy and a bit gothic in tone, that's what I am trying to achieved here.

Oh, I always said to myself, inspirations comes and goes, it always outrun me, but I do catch up as much as possible, hope you to pretty friend.

thanks a lot for this review, much appreciated!

[Sami Khalil]

A very interesting story and confession(s) Mr. Pax here. I have to think on this and the hidden meanings . But I like alot...Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts...:)............

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The images chosen are profound, and I think your writing is very good. However, it's clear that English is a second language. Simple mistakes involving verb tense and other such mistakes detract from an otherwise well-written story.