In Another Lifetime By Yosh Episode 20

With Marvin agreeing to marry Elouise, how does the rest of his life unfold?

TW: This story will address sensitive subjects, including homophobia, abandonment, death, mental health struggles, the implications of suicide, etc. Please be mindful of these topics before you continue reading.

In Another Lifetime by Yosh

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Reading key:

Anything to the side in bold is narration.

Anything to the side with a "character's name:" are inner thoughts.

Anything in bold italics and regular italics are stage directions.

Lines are numbered for the reader to keep track.

Anything () is extra information.

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Episode 20:

With Marvin alluding that he has no other choice but to marry Elouise from the trap she set him up in, the two of them eventually get married and start a family by having their son (Teresa's father).

Seven years of a rocky relationship go by, with Elouise being 34, Marvin being 35, and their son being four years old.

The day is June 11th, 1974. It's a late Tuesday evening.

On a cloudy evening one day, Elouise waits for Marvin to get back home from work, quietly sitting at their house's dining table with documents in front of her after tucking her son to sleep.

She stares at the papers grimly, closing her eyes in despair as he places her face in her hands, releasing a sigh of apprehension.

The front door unlocks when Marvin enters it after a long day of work, looking exhausted.

He hangs up his coat and takes his shoes off, wondering why the house is awfully quiet.

He wanders all over the house, eventually spotting Elouise sitting at the dining table unsettlingly.

Marvin tilts his head to the side in confusion, wondering what she's up to.

He questions her hesitantly, sensing something wrong.

Marvin

Line 1) Hey there... Is everything okay? Is our son asleep?

Elouise looks up at Marvin troublingly, speaking bluntly.

Elouise

Line 2) As usual, he obviously is... Sit. There's something we need to discuss.

Marvin's eyebrows furrow in concern, complying with Elouise's orders while glancing at her fearfully.

Marvin

Line 3) ... What is it?

Elouise timidly passes the papers in front of her over to Marvin.

She speaks in a manner of heartache.

Elouise

Line 4) I want a divorce.

Marvin's eyes bulge in shock, not expecting such a sudden request to come from Elouise out of the blue.

He responds disconcertedly.

Marvin

Line 5) Wh-what?

Elouise looks into Marvin's eyes ashamedly, speaking truthfully.

Elouise

Line 6) I don't want to be together anymore. We should split up.

Marvin sits in silence, processing Elouise's request in disbelief.

He rubs his head in distress, speaking in confusion.

Marvin

Line 7) I don't understand. Why do you want a divorce? You put on this elaborate charade for us to be together and now have the audacity to ask for a divorce?

Elouise looks at Marvin confirmingly, firmly standing by her reasons.

Marvin scoffs, speaking vexingly but keeping his composure so as not to wake his son up.

Marvin

Line 8) Are you kidding me?!

Marvin huffs and puffs, looking at Elouise in treachery.

He speaks frustratedly, feeling deeply betrayed by her request.

Marvin

Line 9) Weren't you the one who said you'd be good to me? That I wouldn't regret marrying you? That you'd be the best to me forever? That you were the only one for me? What the hell ever happened to those promises?

Elouise looks at Marvin irritably from his spiteful reminders.

Marvin elaborates angrily, not holding back on scolding Elouise, clenching his fists in anguish.

Marvin

Line 10) You were practically on your knees begging for me to say yes to this arrangement you concocted yourself, and now you're asking for a divorce?!

Marvin scoffs, pacing back and forth to calm himself down.

Elouise speaks scornfully, squinting at Marvin hypocritically.

Elouise

Line 11) The delivery of your statements contains so much contempt. Why are you insinuating that my reasons aren't sufficient enough? Don't you know you're the entire reason I decided to go this far?

Marvin stops in his tracks and releases a laugh of irony.

Elouise's eye twitches from Marvin's sudden giddiness, snapping at him offendedly.

Elouise

Line 12) What're you laughing about? Is this some kind of joke to you?

Marvin speaks begrudgingly, clenching his jaw in frustration, looking at Elouise critically.

Marvin

Line 13) Let's hear your elaborate excuse, Elouise. There's no way in hell you're blaming me for your decision about making this choice. I've been nothing but good to you all these years.

Elouise speaks upsettingly, with her eyebrows slanting in sorrow from Marvin's misunderstanding.

Elouise

Line 14) Seems your definition of good is vastly different from mine. After all these years, you've never looked at me with love, Marvin. There's this huge insincerity that just radiates out of you whenever you're near me. I can tell you don't love me. In fact, I don't think you ever did.

Elouise speaks in a manner of guilt, feeling as if she's wasted her time with Marvin.

Elouise

Line 15) It's all so heartbreaking. I truly should've known better. At the time, I wasn't in my right mind and thought that if we got married, you'd change, but you never did, and my patience has run dry after the number of chances I've given you to make yourself up to me. I can't keep living like this, so let's call it quits.

Marvin speaks disdainfully, his distaste for Elouise's behavior genuine in the delivery of his words.

Marvin

Line 16) What an insufficient reason to get a divorce from someone. How dare you use me as your experiment of some sort? I'm not your plaything, Elouise. How can you throw me out just because I don't feel the way you want me to?

Marvin speaks in a snarky tone.

Marvin

Line 17) You most definitely should've known better. Wasn't it blatantly obvious that I'd never feel the same way as you from the get-go? You're dense for not noticing.

Elouise speaks in a manner of annoyance, furrowing her eyebrows bitterly.

Elouise

Line 18) It's not fair for you to blame me like this. Why couldn't you put in more effort to fall for me? Did I mean nothing to you all these years? Is it so bad that I had hope and faith that things would work out differently? How dare you call me dumb?

Marvin looks at Elouise offendedly, speaking disrespectfully about Elouise's inconsiderate statements.

Marvin

Line 19) How could you mean nothing to me when we have a child together? I've been through hell and back just to please you all these years, and this is the thanks I get? Where did you get the nerve to even ask such questions? I did everything I could to make us work.

Marvin continues explaining in a petty manner, mocking Elouise as he speaks.

Marvin

Line 20) And, yes, I am calling you dumb because you are, Elouise. Let's be honest, you didn't have "faith" or "hope" in me. You were living in a fantasy, letting yourself be delusional. I just agreed because I had no other choice. Let's not forget that you were the one who took advantage of me. You put yourself in this situation. Stop making me look like the bad guy just because things haven't unfolded the way you envisioned them to.

Elouise speaks in a demeaning tone, her voice harsh and abrasive, along with her face getting red from the amount of hatred she's had boiling inside her, reaching its limit.

Elouise

Line 21) Firstly, watch your mouth. Trash, like you, should know its place. And secondly, you clearly didn't try enough throughout our entire marriage if I didn't feel any of your efforts. It's not about the things you do, but how I feel about them. You never stopped to ask me about how I felt, and that's obviously what matters more, idiot.

A moment of silence passes by between the two of them.

Marvin rubs his temples in distress, trying to calm himself down.

He gently approaches Elouise, getting on his knees in front of her.

He gazes into her eyes sentimentally, placing his hand on her shoulder, speaking desperately and apologetically.

Marvin

Line 22) You're right, Elouise. I'm sorry. I take back everything I said. Please reconsider your decision. We have a kid together. It'll be really hard on him if we were to split up. If you don't want to be there for me, at least be there for him. He needs you. He needs his mother.

Elouise looks at Marvin temptingly.

Marvin speaks tenderly, with his hand traveling onto Elouise's face, caressing her cheek affectionately.

Elouise's eyebrows furrow, feeling conflicted by Marvin's sweet gesture.

Marvin speaks desperately, glancing into Elouise's eyes hopelessly.

Marvin

Line 23) I'm sorry for the way I lashed out just now. I shouldn't have dismissed your feelings like that. I let my emotions get the best of me. Can we at least try to work this out before you make up your mind? I'll try even harder than before. I see you, and I hear you. I'll try to make you feel loved, Elouise. Please give me another chance.

Marvin

Line 24) You're right. It's not about what I do; it's about my intentions transmitting to you properly. I can't just do it and expect you to get what I'm trying to say. I own up to my mistakes. Let me see how I can make you feel better.

Marvin continues elaborating, speaking in a genuine manner.

Marvin

Line 25) I just had a stressful day at work and wasn't expecting something like this to unfold when I returned home. I know that's not an excuse, and I sincerely apologize. This is just another hurdle we're going to have to get through together, so please give me a chance to make things right with you. Let's work together as a team like we always have.

Elouise gazes into Marvin's eyes, hopefully wanting to get a sense of his feelings.

Her demeanor completely changes when she notices Marvin's eyes gazing into hers with a look of insincerity as he speaks.

Elouise smacks Marvin's hand away from her face, swerving her gaze away from his, folding her arms stubbornly, showing a deep distaste for his words.

She speaks belittlingly.

Elouise

Line 26) You're far too late, Marvin. You should've told me this years ago. How can I believe what you say right now when I can't even sense any kind of authenticity in your words? Your promises seem empty, and they have been our entire marriage. I can't give you more time to figure things out. As I said earlier, my patience has run out, and you know I'm not fond of giving second chances.*

*Refer to episode 15, line 55.

Marvin's heart drops to his stomach, with an expression of fear etching onto his face.

He questions Elouise frantically, unable to process what will go down between them with her finalized decision.

Marvin

Line 27) B-but what about our son?

Elouise speaks demandingly.

Elouise

Line 28) He'll stay with me. It's as simple as that. Why does it seem like you only care about our son? What about me?

Marvin looks at Elouise nervously.

Marvin

Line 29) That's not what I meant... But then, what about me?

Elouise speaks contemplatively, scoffing at Marvin's ridiculous question.

Elouise

Line 30) What about you? Why should my son stay with a father like you who can't even love a woman properly? He shouldn't have that kind of influence in his life. It'll mess him up the way it did with you.

Marvin looks taken aback by Elouise's remark, feeling immensely hurt by it.

Elouise elaborates in a manner of disdain.

Elouise

Line 31) They really do say that mindsets are hereditary. Seems like those flawed genetics of that father of yours passed onto you. I looked past that red flag, but I shouldn't have since the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Elouise speaks in an acidic voice, trying to rub Marvin's defeat in his face.

Elouise

Line 32) I'm choosing to break that cycle right here, right now, which means eliminating you out of his life. This is for my son's good. Not so much you, I guess, but you should've been a better husband if you didn't want things to end up this way. It's your loss.

A moment of silence passes as Marvin processes Elouise's sharp statements, leading him to realize his defeat.

His demeanor changes from desperation to disgust, losing all of his respect for Elouise, speaking in a determined manner, his firm persistence adamant in his headstrong voice.

Marvin

Line 33) I'm not surprised you'd stoop so low, Elouise. But there's no way in hell you're taking our son away from me. You have no right. I won't let you do something so unjust.

Marvin gets off his knees and claps back with a petty remark, standing up for himself.

Marvin

Line 34) If anyone's apple didn't fall far from the tree, yours didn't fall far from your father's. You're just as much of a greedy, spoiled Scrooge as he is, making everyone's life around them a living hell. How can you live with yourself like this? Don't you feel any kind of remorse?

Marvin's remark strikes a nerve within Elouise, prompting her to abruptly stand up and slap Marvin in the face.

Elouise's slap snaps Marvin out of his demeaning daze, making him process what he has just said, feeling regretful.

Elouise looks at Marvin lividly, speaking in a rage.

Elouise

Line 35) Well, you've done it now, Marvin. I won't go easy on you. You're going to regret you ever said those words. I'm going to drag you through the mud like no other. I'll make you pay for everything.

Elouise

Line 36) Don't come crawling back to me, you pathetic loser. You had everything, and now you have nothing...

Elouise storms away from the dining table, swiftly grabbing her coat to leave the house.

She slams the door shut, with Marvin falling to his knees in disbelief, burying his face into his hands.

His son's crying comes from the other room from the loud door slam, waking him up.

Marvin snaps out of his sorrows, swiftly getting up to console his son back to sleep.

Marvin's narration:

Line 37) Elouise went through with the divorce, just like she wanted to, and took custody of our son, pleading I was a drug addict and alcoholic. I'd later realize how much her accusations impacted my life, and how she wasn't as wrong as I thought she was.

Line 38) Her family's influence was always light years ahead of mine, so with their power, she was easily able to take guardianship of our child.

After the court ruling of Elouise winning custody of Teresa's father, Marvin hugs his son in tears for what he believes to be the last time he'll ever see him, with his son hugging his father back yearnfully.

Line 39) That day was a nightmare. I saw my life crumble ever so easily in front of my very eyes, with that jittery sensation of losing something so precious to me, making me feel so powerless. Never in my life had I anticipated such devastation to occur.

Line 40) Every heartfelt memory that was etched into my brain descriptively only brought me heartbreak as I reminisced, and it made me fall into a lonely and dark void where I was all alone.

Line 41) My father cursed me for being so pathetic and making his business look bad. A divorced man is far worse than an unmarried one,* and that was only further proved to be true after Elouise cut me out of her life, with the accusations she made completely ruining my reputation and losing everyone's respect.

*Refer back to episode 19, line 78.

Line 42) I was seen as nothing but a failure in my father's eyes, and he wanted nothing to do with me whatsoever. The only people who had my back were my dear friends and the only true parental figure I ever had in my life, Mama Millie.

Line 43) Not only was I heartbroken, but I became broke and unfulfilled. What's even worse is that I couldn't keep Luna's promise. She'd probably want nothing to do with me if she were alive right now, and I wouldn't blame her.

With ten years passing after Marvin's split with Elouise, he slightly gets back on his feet, finding a somewhat stable job, and trying his best to continue living his life.

The day is August 20th, 1984. It is a Monday evening. Marvin is 45 years old.

Hanging out with his best friend, Todd, on a weekend, with the two of them cracking open a beer on the patio, and watching the sunset, Todd digs through his wallet, showing Marvin a recent picture of Marvin's son to him (since his sister is Elouise).

Marvin glances at the picture intently and smirks at it in a bittersweet manner.

Line 44) Marvin's inner thoughts: He's gotten so tall. I miss his cute little face. He's around 14 right now. I hope high school is treating him well.

Todd lets Marvin hold onto the photo, hesitantly asking him something to be informative and suggestful.

Todd

Line 45) With his birthday coming up, what do you plan on getting him? I heard he's gotten into drawing lately.

Marvin's eyes light up in enthusiasm, feeling excited from hearing his son's new hobby.

Marvin

Line 46) Ooh~ That's so fun! In that case, I'll go all out and get him some really good art supplies! I'd love to see his creations!

Marvin speaks in a bummed-out tone.

Marvin

Line 47) It's a shame I can't give him his gift when his actual birthday comes around. I'll just have to keep stashing it for the future.

Marvin speaks hopelessly, looking deeply dejected.

Marvin

Line 48) I hope he doesn't think I forgot about him... Do you even think he remembers me, Todd?

Todd speaks reassuringly, with his voice bearing notes of melancholy.

Todd

Line 49) Of course, he remembers you, Marvin. I know I was a little older when my mom moved away, so I can't completely compare, but I remember her as clear as day. Surely your boy must, too. I'd ask to verify, but he always has eyes on him, so I have to "censor" myself... I'm sorry.

Marvin smiles at Todd softly, patting his shoulder consolingly.

Marvin

Line 50) Don't sweat it. That only makes me want to send him his present more, but I know it'll only come back destroyed if I were to make another attempt like I've done in the past. Just promise me, Todd, that with whatever happens to me, my son will get his presents in that storage room I've been saving all of them up for eventually.

Todd looks at Marvin in anguish, speaking upsettingly from Marvin's allusion.

Todd

Line 51) Don't talk like that, Marv. You're the one that'll give him his presents, okay? You have to speak it out into the universe to manifest it. Believe in yourself. Don't be such a negative Nancy.

Marvin smiles at Todd tenderly, appreciating his uplifting words.

A moment of silence passes between the two of them, with Todd apprehensively bringing another one of his thoughts up to Marvin again.

Todd

Line 52) Is it okay if I share something with you? You might not like hearing it.

Marvin speaks reassuringly, hoping his voice conveys a validating atmosphere for Todd to freely share his thoughts.

Marvin

Line 53) There's no need to walk around eggshells when it comes to me, Todd. Feel free to get anything off of your chest. I know the kind of person you are. Nothing you can say would ever hurt my feelings.

Todd takes in a deep breath, speaking nervously.

Todd

Line 54) I didn't initiate this kind of arrangement; it simply fell into my hands, and you deserve to know. Someone at work approached me to speak to you, but not for things you'd assume...

Todd glances at Marvin eagerly, his body language hinting at notes of encouragement from its openness.

Todd

Line 55) Her name is Valerie. She's a bit younger than you, but a breath of fresh air. She was wondering if you'd perhaps be interested in getting coffee with her sometime soon. What do you think of that?

Marvin's narration:

Line 56) Though I feel all kinds of expressions of resentment towards Elouise, my relationship with Todd was never jeopardized by our divorce.

Line 57) We were still very great friends. In fact, my messy breakup with Elouise made us even closer than before.

Line 58) Todd lost all his respect for Elouise and stopped being close to her. My divorce from her was the straw that broke the camel's back for him, but I requested he still keep in touch with her enough for me to get any kind of insight about my son. Other than that, they're complete strangers to each other.

Line 59) Whenever there are family gatherings that Todd is invited to, he attends for my sake, sharing all kinds of things about my son with me, saying he's as lively as ever but keeps his distance from Elouise and other family members who side with her about how she wronged me.

Line 60) Of course, it breaks my heart that he gets to see my son more often than I do, but simply hearing about him and seeing pictures of him keeps me going. I'd rather have it be this way rather than nothing at all.

Line 61) Ever since the divorce, Todd has gone above and beyond to look out for me, which is why he's suggesting I get back to dating someone while I'm still "young". But it seems he's overestimated whether or not I've still got it.

Line 62) After how much of a wreck my last relationship had been, I vowed to myself that I would never date anyone ever again.

Line 63) It's hard to come to terms with my promise since Luna wouldn't have wanted it this way, but I'm too afraid to dabble in that kind of stuff ever again because of how much it's broken me. I hope she understands.

Line 64) Some may say that what I'm doing to myself is self-sabotage, but just like how some people aren't designed for romance, I definitely fall under that category. I've lost more than I've gained, and I don't feel like wagering another time around, especially with my terrible luck.

Marvin smiles at Todd appreciatively, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly for his considerate suggestion.

Marvin speaks gratefully, with his voice radiating precaution.

Marvin

Line 65) Thank you for taking that message for me. I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but would it be okay if you tell her that I respectfully decline?

Todd nods his head confirmingly, replying anxiously.

Todd

Line 66) L-leave it to me...

Marvin's narration:

Line 67) To be honest, a part of me does want to meet up with that woman and see what could happen between us, but there's too much baggage I'm holding onto that's unfair to unload onto another person.

Line 68) I wouldn't want someone to waste their precious youth on me when I've got nothing to offer them besides a groggy body and an insecure personality. I'm not the young, energetic man I used to be. I've lost my zing for years, and I fear I'll never get it back again.

Line 69) I know I should probably speak to someone about my trauma, but that kind of vulnerability is the last thing on my mind, and I definitely don't have the funds to get such treatment anyway. Either way, it's just too hard for me, though I know I could use the help.

Line 70) To keep myself distracted, I'd focus on work and surround myself with all my loved ones, enthralling myself into their lives and cheering them on.

Line 71) I wish I could be happy with them, but I found myself being more happy for them, sticking out like a sore thumb. It seems like everyone has their lives figured out, while I, on the other hand, am seen as the pitiful friend who walks behind everyone else on the sidewalk while they walk forward with their heads held high.

Line 72) Either way, I tried my best to put on a smile. They do say you have to fake it till you make it. It was kind of helping me get through my adversity until things went downhill yet again.

*Marvin gets struck with the news that his caretaker, Mama Millie, passed away.

He and all of his friends attend her funeral, commemorating her life in sadness, with his father present in the background as well, but the two don't greet each other.

As Marvin approaches Mama Millie's lifeless body, laying in her casket ever so peacefully, with a slight smile curling his lips, he places a rose on her chest, looking at her in disbelief as tears stream down his face in anguish.

Line 73) There's this Japanese proverb that says people have three faces. The first one you show to the public is a people-pleasing image; the second one you show to your close friends and family is an "I'm doing just fine" image. And the third one is the one you only show to yourself. It's your true face, the one who knows you completely inside and out.

Line 74) Though I was going through a lot and felt like I could open up to no one, whenever I was with Mama Millie, I felt like I could slightly show her my true face, even if it wasn't as direct as I would have liked it to be.

Line 75) It was like an unspoken word between us. She just knew what to say, and it would touch me to my core, wrapping the broken version of myself, who's deeply buried in that darn void with a warm blanket.

Line 76) It reminded me of when she'd do my laundry as I'd nap on the couch as a kid, pouring it fresh out of the dryer onto me, with the warmth and fresh scent of my clothes encapsulating me in a state of nirvana.

Line 77) I felt ashamed that I hadn't opened up about my troubles to her before she exhaled her last breath. It seems she would've completely and wholeheartedly understood, but I was far too much of a coward, and I'll bear that guilt for the rest of my life.

Line 78) I was never the same after losing her. The only way I could numb myself was by escaping reality, which was done by drinking and smoking my sorrows away. Seems as if Elouise predicted the future with that. Unfortunately, I let her win.*

*Refer back to line 37 of this episode.

Line 79) It was the only way I could continue living. I just needed something to loosen me up, but I became such a slob and felt completely repulsed by the person who reflected off of my mirrors.

Line 80) Before, I used to be enthralled with sports, doing everything possible to keep myself in tip-top shape because it made me feel good...

Line 81) But now, I've gotten wrinkly from stress and age, tubby from drinking, grey from smoking, and just overall disgusting because I keep indulging in ephemeral things that relax me one moment, then snap me into my existential crisis the next, making me feel even worse.

Line 82) The only way I could make myself feel slightly better, no matter how much I hated who I had become, was to continue drinking and smoking. The cycle would only continue repeating, and there was no way of getting me out of it. I became completely addicted.

*Ten more years pass.

Drunk Marvin sneaks off to visit his sister and caretaker's grave while hanging out with his friends(they are buried next to each other).

The day is February 19th, 1994. The day is a Saturday night. Marvin is 55 years old.

He is holding a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a cigarette in the other, glancing at his loved ones' graves upsettingly.

The area is covered in snow, with Marvin's cold breaths visible in the air as he sits and wallows in his sorrow.

He further covers himself in his jacket from the cold weather outside, giving him the chills.

Marvin releases a sigh of grief, speaking in despair, with his eyebrows furrowing wistfully.

Marvin

Line 83) I really wish you two were here right now.

Marvin

Line 84) I hope you gals are keeping each other company wherever you two may be.

With Marvin's friends tagging alongside him as they hang out for the weekend, Marvin's friend, Jax, approaches him, not expecting Mama Millie's and Luna's graves to be near the area they were hanging out in.

Jax speaks in a manner of concern, planting himself a seat beside Marvin.

Jax

Line 85) I wondered where you snuck off to. I'm sorry for not knowing this place was here.

Marvin swiftly goes to extinguish his cigarette and hide his alcohol, but Jax stops him by grabbing his wrists.

He speaks confirmingly, wondering why Marvin is reacting slowly even though he's already caught him red-handed. 

Jax

Line 86) You do realize that with my four eyes, I can obviously see this stuff, right? There's no need to hide it. I know you've been smoking and drinking for years. It seems that even if I were to object, you still wouldn't listen to me.

Jax snags Marvin's cigarette, casually getting a hit of his blunt.

Marvin looks at Jax in shock, not anticipating for him to be so calm.

After a couple of moments of awkward silence, Jax speaks apologetically, looking at Marvin in shame.

Jax

Line 87) Marvin, I'd like to apologize...

Marvin's eyebrows furrow in confusion, wondering what Jax could be talking about.

Jax

Line 88) I should've never urged you to go through with it.

Marvin's confusion alleviates when he realizes what Jax is alluding to (his encouragement to get with Elouise the night he accidentally proposed. Refer back to episode 19, lines 109�"113).

Jax rubs his head in distress, savoring Marvin's cigarette as he explains his guilt, speaking remorsefully.

Jax

Line 89) I'm really sorry. I always look back on that conversation we had, wondering how things would've worked out if I hadn't said what I said.

Marvin gently pats Jax's shoulder reassuringly, speaking in a manner that supplies consolation, gazing into his eyes softly and forgivingly.

Marvin

Line 90) Four eyes, you do realize this is your billionth time apologizing for that, right? You never urged me to go through with it. You were just thinking pragmatically. 

Jax speaks understandingly, letting his guilt surge out of him as he apologizes.

Jax

Line 91) I know, I know, but I'll keep apologizing until the day I die because I feel so ashamed to have ever said such careless words you didn't need to hear at the time. I should've been reassuring instead.

Marvin speaks acceptingly, taking a sip of his drink from feeling comfortable enough by Jax's leniency.

Marvin

Line 92) Your words didn't alter the timeline of my life, Jax. Don't bear so much blame for something you couldn't control. Regardless of whether or not you "encouraged" me, the outcome would've ended the same. There was no way out of that situation.

Jax speaks dejectedly, unable to not feel at fault.

Jax

Line 93) I guess you're right, but perhaps some more support was all you needed to figure out a way to get yourself out of that situation. I should've been the one to give you that push, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't.

Marvin smiles, finding Jax's dedication to apologizing amusing and endearing.

He speaks peacefully, wanting to put Jax at ease.

Marvin

Line 94) Please, take it easy, buddy. None of this is your fault. It's all mine.

Jax looks at Marvin offendedly, speaking in a passionate tone of disapproval.

Jax

Line 95) Hey! None of this is your fault either, Mister! Stop being so hard on yourself!

Marvin bursts into laughter, finding Jax's devotion adorable.

Jax speaks begrudgingly, folding his arms playfully from Marvin's uncorrelated reaction.

Jax

Line 96) That wasn't a joke. I meant what I said.

Marvin nods his head happily, speaking understandingly as he wipes the tears from his laughter off of his face.

Marvin

Line 97) I know~ That's why I'm laughing so much. Never stop being you, Jax. You're great.

Jax speaks sentimentally, aggressively putting his arm over Marvin's shoulder and reeling himself closer to him.

Jax

Line 98) Marvin. You're not at fault for what happened whatsoever. Anyone in their right mind would agree with me.

Jax speaks faithfully, wanting to make Marvin realize the truth.

Jax

Line 99) I know you're probably reflecting and analyzing every moment that led up to what happened and thinking you should've done more and whatnot, but you truly did all you could, and you should stop blaming yourself after all these years.

Jax speaks in a genuine manner, letting his honesty flow out of him.

Jax

Line 100) You've had it rough, and I can't explain why, but just know for certain that you don't deserve any of your adversity.

Jax speaks welcomingly, desperate for Marvin to seek him for refuge.

Jax

Line 101) I don't know how I can help you, but if there's any way, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm begging you. Come to me. I want you to lean on me. You're my dear friend, and I care about you a lot. Let me do what friends should do.

Marvin's eyebrows slant from the power of Jax's touching words and promises.

He speaks appreciatively, smiling at his friend expressively from his sincere worry.

Marvin

Line 102) Thank you, Jax. I appreciate your concern. Thank you for caring about me so much. I'm grateful to have a friend like you. I hope everyone has someone like you in their lives.

Jax elbows Marvin flusteredly, speaking playfully as he arrogantly points out the bare minimum.

Jax

Line 103) You're giving me way too much credit. Saying this stuff is the least I could do. Just please take my suggestions into genuine consideration.

Marvin nods his head confirmingly, his agreement radiating authenticity.

Jax extinguishes his cigarette swiftly, getting hit with the realization that he's been smoking in front of Luna and Mama Millie's grave.

Marvin speaks offendedly, looking at Jax bitterly from the unexpected action.

Marvin

Line 104) What'd you do that for? There was still some juice in that. You should've given it to me instead.

Jax speaks sternly, looking at Marvin in annoyance at his inconsiderate response, replying assertively.

Jax

Line 105) I can't possibly smoke in the resting place of your loved ones. It just dawned on me that I was doing that this entire time in front of them. Shame on me, but you shouldn't do that either. Don't argue.

Jax places his hands together, offering his prayers for Luna and Mama Millie, muttering his recitations under his breath as he closes his eyes loyally.

After he finishes, he intently observes their graves, feeling immense sorrow from such misfortune.

He scoots closer to Marvin, affectionately placing his head on his shoulder.

Marvin puts his arm over Jax's, with the two of them leaning on each other lovingly as they commemorate Marvin's loved ones' passing.

Jax speaks in a manner that seeks clarification.

Jax

Line 106) It's been a long time since those two passed away, huh?

Marvin nods his head confirmingly, his gesture filled with immense melancholy.

Jax speaks caringly, looking out for Marvin tenderly.

Jax

Line 107) I don't mean to be that guy, but you should take better care of yourself, Marvin. I'm sure Mama Millie and Luna would agree with me on that.

Jax speaks warm-heartedly, wishing nothing but the best for his friend.

Jax

Line 108) You've still got your whole life ahead of you. Let's get you shaped up, eh? What do you think?

Marvin glances at Jax contemplatively, his eyes filled with a deep sense of realization, snapping him into a new headspace.

Marvin's narration:

Line 109) Seeing Jax's concern filled with such guilt was a severe wake-up call for me.

Line 110) Why am I still brooding over something that was beyond my control? How could I let myself be so deeply impacted by someone so undeserving of my worth?

Line 111) Thou who shall not be named doesn't deserve to win by having me struggle like this. I should crawl out of my stupid void and do something for myself for once.

Line 112) My life isn't over. The world keeps spinning, and I'm still alive. If it were the end for me, I'd be dead, but I'm still here, aren't I? That speaks enough for itself.

The rest of Marvin's friends finally find Jax and Marvin sitting beside each other and approach them.

Cady speaks in a manner of relief.

Cady

Line 113) There you guys are. You had us worried sick.

They all observe the graves, not knowing they were placed so close to their hang-out area.

Russell questions the two of them in concern.

Russell

Line 114) A-are you guys okay?

Jax and Marvin nod their heads reassuringly.

Todd speaks expressively, snuggling himself with his coat from the cold breeze whirling through him.

Todd

Line 115) How aren't you guys freezing? It's so cold outside. Let's come back here when the weather's better. You two will catch a cold at this rate.

The smell of cigarettes fills Cady's nose, leading her nose to scrunch for the pungency.

She questions Jax and Marvin skeptically, folding her arms sternly.

Cady

Line 116) Which one of you smoked? I better not be you, Jax. I thought you quit for good.

A frantic look comes across Jax's face, prompting him to answer Cady nervously.

Jax

Line 117) Of course, it wasn't me, sweetheart. You know how much I've sobered up. You must be smelling someone else's cigarette smoke, but rest assured, it's definitely not from either of us. Who would smoke in a graveyard? That's so disrespectful, right?

Cady replies unconvinced, with a deep sense of compassion surging through her voice.

Cady

Line 118) Okay... Well, would it be okay if we went inside? Or do you need some more time, Marvin? Sorry if it seems like I'm rushing you, but Todd's right. We don't want to catch colds from this frosty weather. Let's plan a time to come when it's warmer.

Marvin speaks reassuringly, smiling warmly at Cady from her considerate nature.

Line 119) Marvin's inner thoughts: My friends are the best. Just look how much they care about me. I really should be better for them. 

Marvin replies playfully.

Marvin

Line 120) Don't worry. Let's head back inside. My butt's practically frozen.

Cady releases a chuckle of amusement, lending a hand for Jax and Marvin to get up from their sitting spots.

As Marvin stands up, his packet of cigarettes falls out of his coat's pocket.

All of his friends look at the cigarettes in shock, not expecting Marvin to have it, of all people.

Marvin looks at Cady frantically, speaking anxiously.

Marvin

Line 121) U-uhh... Where did that come from, right?

Cady folds her arms upsettingly, scolding Marvin, feeling disappointed in him.

Cady

Line 122) Caught red-handed. Care to explain yourself?

Marvin looks at Jax in uncertainty, not knowing what to do.

Marvin kneels to pick his cigarettes up, putting them into his coat's pocket.

He sneakily gathers some snow into his hand, standing up with it in his grasp.

Marvin swiftly throws a snowball at Todd, speaking playfully.

Marvin

Line 123) They're actually Todd's, Cady.

Todd shrieks at the coldness of the snowball hitting him, speaking in a playfully fierce manner.

Todd

Line 124) That's it! You've awoken the beast!

A snowball fight breaks out as a result of Marvin's throw, and all of them have a good time together as they play around.

*Ten more years go by, and Marvin is doing charity volunteer work at a hospital.

The day is March 14th, 2004. The day is Sunday. Marvin is 65 years old.

Marvin's narration:

Line 125) After that day, I completely flipped my life around.

Line 126) I was utterly exhausted from being such a coward for not sharing my hardships and letting things from the past dictate the way I lived my life.

Line 127) It was too painful for me to continue hurting myself as I saw that it was causing harm to my loved ones as well.

Line 128) I was the one who was selfish all this time, shutting them off despite their willingness to help me regardless. I shouldn't have assumed that I'd be burdening them when that's entirely untrue.

Line 129) With their help, I was able to stop smoking and drinking, though I thought that was impossible. I got into better shape and started taking great care of myself, implementing all kinds of health practices into my routine, ditching the detrimental ones.

Line 130) I had this toxic habit of not wanting to look weak in front of my loved ones, but reaching out for their help was exactly what I needed all this time. I'm glad that my mindset is reframed for the better.

Line 131) I was finally able to look at myself in the mirror with ease.

Line 132) But a pit of regret sits in my stomach from my wish to have pulled myself together sooner from the number of years I had wasted in agony.

Line 133) Life is truly precious, and I had been careless by treating myself horribly for a long time.

Line 134) To somewhat compensate for the disservice I did to myself, I started volunteering. Helping others in need and seeing my effective impacts was complete food to the soul.

Line 135) It's made me more grateful for all the greatness in my life, and honestly more guilty, too, as I had realized that my problems were nothing compared to what others go through.

Line 136) If there's simply anything I can do to help anyone in need, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

As Marvin does his volunteering work, he gets a call from Cady, excusing himself to answer her somewhere privately.

Marvin looks at the call on his flip phone in confusion, wondering what Cady could be calling about as she knows of his volunteering routine on the weekends.

Marvin answers in concern, feeling worried.

Marvin

Line 137) Hello, Cady. Is everything okay?

Through the other line, Marvin can hear Cady's sobs.

His eyes widen in concern, nervously awaiting a response from her.

Cady

Line 138) I-I'm so sorry to call you like this. Is this a bad time?

Marvin speaks reassuringly, with a cold sweat accumulating on himself as he senses bad news coming, feeling a gut sensation give him a heads up.

Marvin

Line 139) N-not at all. What's wrong?

Cady speaks devastatingly.

Cady

Line 140) Jax passed away...

Marvin's heart drops to his stomach upon hearing the news.

He freezes in his stance, trembling in extreme shock.

All of his friends gather around Jax's grave as they lower him to the ground, with Marvin numbly staring in disbelief.

Marvin's narration:

Line 141) And just when it seemed like I was gluing back all of my broken pieces together, they shattered once again within the blink of an eye.

Line 142) That darkness that I thought I had gotten rid of surrounded me after so long, making me plummet into that darn void that I never wanted to be in ever again.

To be continued...

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Thank you for reading! ♡

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Author's Note

I hope you like what you have read so far. I appreciate each and everyone of you for giving my story a chance.

*P.S.: This original story is best read in Wattpad's format. The link below will navigate you all to this story on that platform.

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