Desirous Triumvirate

II shot the Moon

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

that's interesting. so you're trying to justify having shot anyone because you're in love....
I liked these lines a lot :
"II couldn't stand being covetous inside
The Sun she loved and for he she died"

Vengeance seems sweet sometimes...

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

It does, it really does. :)

[tiajam]

This reads very well, i felt like the words melted together.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

I am greatly appreciative!

[Tony Jordan]

I just flicked my radio to some really cool laid back jazz and then I began to read and by f*ck if the music and the poem didn't start to integrate.
That's what this feels like - some fine jazz poetry Sir. Awesome!

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Jazz music!? Why haven't I thought of that? Jazz Poetry! I like your style! Thanks for that!

[Tony Jordan]

I can't take credit for that phrase Drift. It's been around since the 1920's (Ezra Pound et al) but my usual radio station (50s-60s music) happened to be on when I read this. I guess it's synchronicity, if you will.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Im pumping some jazz right now! Lets see what your writing sings to me

[Tony Jordan]

Try 'Spent' - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts

[Ruth]

This is epic, a surreal flow that I like a lot and a mysterious piece, really cool and much enjoyed :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you very much for that beautiful comment. I shall take a look at your profile, thanks for the add

[Ruth]

My pleasure :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

damn, this is like a love poem meets Jimi Hendrix' "Hey Joe"

"i shot my old lady, shot her down to the ground"
she was my moon...but then she wasn't anymore and i couldn't take it.

intriguing piece.

j.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Mr. Jacob! I'm a fan of Jimi Hendrix so this is my favorite comment! It is surely a melodramatic poem. Thank you for commenting

[Emilia Cole]

This is sweet and has an endearment you don't often know how to express well at least I don't... Yeah I'm pathetic although I will say this your writing is beautiful

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Oh no, don't say that, I admire all reviews and yours is very well accepted. Im reading your writing ;)

[Kathrine Rethorn]

I love this poem and wonder about the underlining meaning. I could only guess! The rhyme is so easy to read and is almost a song in my head as i read. Great poem.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you very much for stopping by!

[Lola_Bee]

I like the direction this piece moved towards and the twist in the end. I was confused with the “II” which I realize was “I” thereafter. Good

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you, the double II was to note that the speaker was 2 persons at the same time, one that loved and one that envied. Thank you for stopping by I will make sure to return the favor.

[QuayvonS]

This. Is. Love! Sometimes rhyming can be challenging and constricting but you seem to make everything fit just right.
Again, Well done!

[...]

Very different from the children's story of yours that I read. I love the strength and determination this man has, the things he will do for love. That is awesome.
That is love. It makes you crazy enough to do crazy things.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Yes. My writing is seasonal. Winter freezes my heart but spring comes around to thaw it afterward. Thank you Ivy.

[...]

I look forward to the summer heat then...

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Stay close, just don't get burned 😉

[...]

Don't worry. I'm way too cool. :)