A Single Saxophone

Drinking to forget

Plays blue, a single saxophone,
plays heartache and despair,
to hang heavy in the gauloises fog
above the broken gathered there.
Who sit alone with half drained glass
at tables laid for two,
just memories in the chair across,
of a love that they once knew.
Cold comfort sought, cold comfort found
in stupors arms, alone,
serenaded by suicidal thoughts
and a single saxophone.

Reviews

[Beccy]

Wonderfully atmospheric lines Gee. i Could see the scene perfectly in my mind's eye, really enjoyed the read.

Beccy.

[Gee]

Thanks Beccy.
Hope you , your parents and Charlie are well

[W. Barrett Munn]

This is lovely Gee. I really enjoyed it.

Winston

[Gee]

Thank you Winston

[Kelly Scheppers]

There's nothing sadder than watching a man drink himself into a stupor. My uncle used to do it all the time. He became philosophical after a few beers, spoke to me of things he'd never ordinarily say. Such a heartbreak to read, Gordon.

[Gee]

Hi Kelly, thank you for popping in, always good to see you.
Hope you are well

[Kelly Scheppers]

I'm just getting over COVID for the second time. It just feels like a bad cold I can't shake. Hope you and yours are well. All the best to you!

[Gee]

All good here thanks. Hope you are back to full health in the very near future

[Chris Shaw]

Well worth a second visit four years down the line. You see them everywhere. People who drink to forget. Add a saxaphone to the equation and you have a real dose of the blues. Let’s send this spinning round the forum again Gee.

Chris

[Gee]

Thanks Christine. Will hopefully, after 28th April, have more time to write when I leave my current job.
Hope all.is well in Berks

[Chris Shaw]

I trust you have another job lined up Gee unless you are taking early retirement? Anyways it will be good to see more of your posts making their way to the board. Have a good Sunday. Off to the marina for breakfast. All good here.

[Gee]

No job lined up, am leaving to save my sanity :))
Hope you are all well...another icy blast due in the near future😩

[Chris Shaw]

If it has reached that stage then it is time to leave. Sensible decision all round. Oh not another icy blast …….

[Zoe Richardson]

How monumentally sad. And descriptive. I could see it. Lonely patrons in a bar, huddled over their whiskey and smoking endless cigarettes (Gauloises was nice touch!) The saxophone is a mournful instrument, and there is nothings so melancholy as a single instrument serenading a half-empty room. What an evocative piece you have written!

[Gee]

Thank you Zoe.
Sometimes I go back over the bits and bobs I've posted and find it strange that the words written have come from me :)

[Zoe Richardson]

I do the exact same thing. I'm always surprised when something I dashed off in a couple minutes gets more attention than something I labored over. We are not very good monitors of our own work!

[DIVYA]

I feel there's nothing lonelier than a man drinking alone. There's such loss and hopelessness here. I wonder why they don't try to make new beginnings, find joy again. It read much much more than ok :) Loved it!

[Gee]

Thank you Divya, good to see you back

[DIVYA]

You are welcome Gee. :))

[Lisasview]

Gee, I always wish that my new group of friends would be kind enough to submit constructive help on my poems..I have only put on 3..(Having problems not being able to put anymore one - glitch with the website)
anyway, all reviewers are so so kind and leave only what they feel..rather than any real critic..
I am super new to submitting but if you would like we could connect on chat??
Lisa

[Gee]

Hi Lisa.
Regarding critiquing. Some folk wish only to be told how "good" their offerings are, no matter how awful they are perceived by others, adjustable a critique for criticism. I have been blocked numerous times for being honest so these days I comment on the pieces that I read and enjoy but say nothing when reading the shite ( tut, tut) some folk post.
With regards to constructive help, being a hairy arsed builder with zilch qualifications I would find myself hard pressed to offer any advice apart from reading aloud any pieces written, recording yourself if you see fit, as if a piece sound right, is fluent then it usually ain't too bad :))
Rhyming pieces, in my book, should have an even( ish) syllable count to each line with little or no repetition of rhyming words.
Not much help but the best I can muster m'dear.
Thank you for dropping by.

[Gee]

TYPOS...mistaking a critique as criticim

[Lisasview]

Good to hear back from you Gee.
I so agree.. I am only keeping the friends that I enjoy reading.. I did love the feeling of your poem..and the wording did reflect the mood..which is great!!

[Gee]

Thank you.
Friends...some folk will befriend you only to garner a review of two.
There are some very good writers on here as you have probably realised, these are the folk that we all should be reading(I think) in the vain hope that we will learn and improve :))

[Lisasview]

I totally agree!!

[Betty Hermelee]

Drown your sorrows, such an easy thing to do, but also can be dangerous. You set this scene perfectly; I a;most felt as if I was there, staring at these forlorn souls, drinking their woes away and alone. Where there used to be two, now only one; sad but it happens. Well written Gee.
Best, B

[Gee]

Thank you kindly ma'am :))
Hope you are well Betty

[M. J. Smith]

The only thing sadder then that single saxophone is a lone bagpipe echoing across a cematary. The drink dulls the pain. But the dawn with its lonely sunrise comes too soon.

[Gee]

Heard the line bag pipe many a time in trips up to Ayrshire and Perthshire with family.
Thanks for dropping in MJS

[M. J. Smith]

You are most welcome, my friend.

[Indra's Child]

This is beautifully sad, I'm happy that I pressed the discover button today.
Boop boooop,
Lp

[Gee]

Thank you LP