Pop The Lid

The Jar

Hello, can anybody hear me?

I'm here, 

I’m in the back of the cupboard, 

it’s dark. 

I’m stuck in a jar.

Imprisoned,

my own doing, 

no reprieve 

in  this house made of glass,

lid twisted tight 

keep all that’s out from entering.

At risk of suffocation outside

in a world so absurd, 

I gave up the fight, 

I climbed in. 

Pushed to the back, 

darkness prevails - 

let’s begin.

The world unfurls

as I watch from inside

committing to immerse 

leaves me skinned alive, 

stripped of my own makings I’ll be.

But a breath of fresh air from my own mind entices, 

From inside the jar, 

Popping the lid  is required to see.

The acrid smell of mind mutiny

blankets this life

on a menu

my stomach cannot bare. 

A cacophony of tyranny in

a boiling pot of strained emotion,

peppered lightly with seeds of piggishness 

(watch them sprout, watch them grow).

Stirred by the hands

determining our land, 

the future is now, not tomorrow.

'Where's Freedom?' I asked after my long lost friend.

'Prison,' siad a sneering man named Foe.

Like a LSD trip gone wrong,

the view from the jar is a kaleidoscope of

too many people, 

too many drums,

too many beats.

This hullabaloo rattles my bones with uncertainty.

A journey backward.

I’m going in search of the original sin,

the original seed.

Let’s begin.

Reviews

[KCthelastboyscout]

Trapped in your own prison.this is a definitive writing idea.fantastically well written.the imagery u describe lights up my mind with electricity.I have trouble with description in my writing but this is an example of how it is to be done brilliantly

[Diane]

Just reading this made me claustrophobic! What I get out of it, is being stuck in a funk for too long, or just stuck in the same place. Same bleep different day as my mom would say. Okay she would say it with out the bleep, just fill it in. Anywho, I liked it.

[wordman]

sounds like your trapped in your life,arent we all

[Davidgeo]

You should make the font larger.

[KWP]

ok I did X

[Einstein Noodle]

I really like the metaphor of the jar ..cooked preserved and pushed to the back of the cupboard .. we have some (still good) salsa back there that is 4 yrs old ;)
the font size should condemn you to stay put back there KW ;))) I am kissing the screen in reading

small editing that i noticed:
V1 L2 I'm here ..not "I here"
V2 L4 In this house not "In the this house"

i think your poem is emotive and universal ..hard to pinpoint which "foe" is assailing me as i read ..freedom is such a transigent thing in a subjective world .. alas the bad trips ...for a solitary life the world is all that ..reading this poem is like picking various berries off the same tree .. i get a sense of so much more than one reading will show me ..so i go back to the beginning ;))))
in closing i am in awe of the courageous search your speaker embraces .."original seed" oh my!!!! way too scary for this sojourner ;) what a whopping deep poem ..i can feel the angst
E.

[KWP]

thanks for the edit fixes :D always in such a rush I am, there's a lesson in there for me. I am glad you enjoyed it. It was a tough assignment for me but I really can appreciate the layers this type of poetry adds to the art, new dimensions that's for sure, makes one think twice about everything they write

See you in class X

[Einstein Noodle]

i hear you ... great stuff indeed!