Beside the pond ⁓ (wistful)

Free Verse

    

       

      Beside the pond ~

          Alone,

          I sat beside the pond

          this morning.

          Early sun ...

          vibrant in its warm flush

          of golden welcome

          came cascading down

          from treetops' glow,

          embracing grass,

          gifting colors vividly alive,

          lifting flowers' faces …

          with their honey-pollened smiles.

          I was amazed

          at how the breeze knew

          I missed you

          or was even thinking of you,

          but I’d swear

          it touched mine with your cheek,

          slid a wisp of your locks

          across my shoulder,

          and became the sweetness

          of your breath.

 

          Olive oil and rose bouquet ...

          ... it hung for awhile

          in the morning air,

          a fragrant marker

          along a trail of yesterdays,

          leading to You ...

          places of dreams and hope,

          of love and laughter

          and impossible possibilities.

 

          I almost started to believe

          I’d turn my head ~

          and you’d be there.

          Each year

          has come and gone …

          You, like fertile mana

          ever glowing, growing

          in my heart.

          It’s said all things end,

          and walking back to the house

          I sensed that coming truth,

          as Autumn's leaves

          began falling

          like tears ~

          washing around

          my feet.

              Richard W. Jenkins

                        ©2015

1st Place

"Poetry About Loss Contest"

Author's Note

Picture is courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
Constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated. : )

I was asked to post a Free Verse for a change; so, here one is … hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[Norman T]

I loved the gentle imagery that you created, that ended with a poignancy indicated by the falling leaves.
Although not normally a writer ( or lover) of free verse, I felt that this worked particularly well. You may have helped to change my inhibited views. Thank you.

[Richard🖌]

Hello, Norman! : )
It is so nice to see you here today, M'Friend, finding something to love in this beautifully poignant piece, filled with the flow gentle emotion.
Your comments and praise have certainly gratified my efforts to write, share, in hopes of pleases my knowing readers — those like You.
It is certainly rewarding to know my poem may have inspired your beginning to enjoy the Free Verse genre of poetry, broadening your appreciation a bit more, let's say. The one thing I know is, we can always keep growing, eh?
Norman, I thank you so very sincerely for stoping-in to enjoy one of my poems … please, feel free to do so anytime, My Fine Friend! ⁓ Richard

[Richard🖌]

For those who might wonder:
The six deletions above were controversial comments from a wrongly disgruntled being, who took my response to Norman's review out of context.

[Great Aunt Astri]

oooooo, oh dear1

[K writes]

I don't see anything wrong with Norman's review.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear Kay✨
Your kindness is so gracious … it was not Norman's review, it something misinterpreted in my response to Norman's review that got her knickers in a wad.
Privately, she apologized and all was set straight between us … I never like to let misunderstandings go without making peace.

You're a sweetheart, Kay … thanks again. RJ 🍃

[William Liston]

I think this is my favorite free verse poem of yours ... it's certainly beautiful and captivating with its vivid imagery and gentle descriptions. This poem had a wistful atmosphere to it, and I could feel that more and more with each line. What made this piece even better was how much you focused on the sound ... the euphony and wordflow made the words dance across the page.

I have one little quibble: In line six of the second stanza, the "and the awe in me" felt redundant for two reasons: First, this stanza focuses on nature so the focus on the self seems out of place. Also, that phrase tells of an idea that can already be inferred from the beautiful descriptions alone. Whether you change it or not, this is still a brilliant piece.

- William Liston

[Richard🖌]

My Dear William 🌾

So sorry I missed your review for so many years … I must have received no notice of it, but am, nonetheless, so thrilled to find it in this solemn moment.

I know you're in Heaven now … hopefully, reading my gratefully humbled response to your wondrously amazing, insightful words, and generously offered constructive critique for this rather loose Free Verse piece. Student teaching teacher; how apropos this is, and how honored I am you cared enough to share and expend the effort to give of yourself so freely. I'm hanging on and considering your every word.

In your second review paragraph critique, I must have already caught and corrected that line before reading your caring suggestion; or, changed it because of your help and forget to thank you in review feedback … in whatever way it happened, I thank you you most gratefully my fine, astute student.

I miss you greatly, William, with your keen mind, imagination, and most enthralling potential to be that Master Poet you always dreamed of, strived, and so passionately aspired toward becoming.

How blessed I feel, Dear William, knowing your own glowing sentiments of this rather
melancholy Free Verse piece were so deeply favorable.

Now, I send my earthly love to You! ⁓ Richard🍃

[Einstein Noodle]

beautiful ..wouldn't change a thing ...very engrossing for me ..by the time i reached the closing i felt enough of this heartbreak to say "oh no! ...not the end!!!" :( so well done says i! and what a great pic .. and your speaker (it is inferred) goes to that place ...to see if hope can be nurtured ..to grieve and move on .. but each time ... he knows he will return again .. that's my ending anyway ;) and way in the distance his pain will be lessened enough so that he begins to forget ... amen! i am an optimist you see ;))
like i said ..very engaging read ..its a fine emotive painting for me!
E.

[Richard🖌]

Gosh, Gene!
What a wonderful review to receive from one of my most admired writers … you've made my day turn from overcast and cold to sunny and warm, not to mention making my hat way too small … LOL!

Thank you, My Friend, you are truly a pleasure to share with … brotherly hugs 'n many blessings this holiday season, and throughout the coming year! ⁓ Richard : )

[streetrose]

Beautiful...simply beautiful. Truly touched my heart.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you for reading this piece, for your praise, and expressed emotion. ⁓ Richard

[Marianne Rose]

Beautiful captivating imagery that took me to the place you described, and helped me feel the love and longing as it unfolded. The words are lush, full of life and vitality. And yes, poignant because of the subject. I felt the vividness of the memory of the one with you, and yes, expected to see someone standing there. Wistful sadness, and enduring love. Thank you.

[Richard🖌]

Ahhh, Dear Marianne 🌼

Such a delightful moment it is to have received your warmly favorable review (even if years later) for this tenderly romantic and poignant piece.
You've always had a way about you that touches deeply into my heart.

You're so very welcome, M'Dear, and I thank You! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Raylene]

Love the poem dear it flows very elegant and free and the imagery as if I was there really I cannot correct this for your poems always hit the viral points bravo dear

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Raylene,
You're a breath of sweetness on a warm, sunny morning, setting my thoughts a'wandering off in delightful directions.
How lovely imagining you there with me, sharing it all together … such a sensational thought. ; )

Dearest, did you mean "vital" points", in as much that the "r" and "t" are beside each other on the keyboard? Whatever, I know your meaning, and blush from the praise you've bestowed.

I really enjoyed your review, Raylene — sooo encouraging and gratifying … warmest hugs! ⁓ Richard

[Raylene]

Lol Richard you honor me with the invite

[Richard🖌]

Dear Raylene,
I bow most gracefully to your sweet, effulgent charm ! ⁓ RJ

[Raylene]

Thank you dear

[=]

By far one of the better pieces I've read on here. At first I thought this would be a simple descriptive piece of your surroundings. But, at least this is what I've gotten from this piece, the way you lulled the reader into a sense of security before unveiling the true "plot" of the poem was fantastic. Your use of basic senses, I say basic but you've evidently gone past that in your descriptive terms, to explain emotion is utterly superb.

When the piece went from descriptive on your setting, to a love lost I really began to connect with it. It felt like you went from gentle imagery, to hard hitting emotion without blasting it at the reader.

Fantastic piece!

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Roy! : )
A most warm and gracious welcome to the site and my humble pages.

I would like to thank you sincerely for selecting one of my pieces to read, review, and comment on … it is an honor to share my efforts with you, My New Friend.

When another poet takes their time to not only read, but to understand the more intricate nuances of that which a more complex work (such as this) exemplifies, there is a great sense of appreciation, gratification, and pleasure derived form the effort I've taken to write for and please those whom come to read my pieces.

Your in-depth grasp of this poem's true essence in emotion, feeling, and substance assures me you have (indeed) entered a realm few can or do when partaking and relating to the very soul of this piece … what higher, truly inspiring, or more treasured thanks could a bard hope for that these?
This, I cannot answer, because i can imagine nothing.

Again, my most sincere thanks, Roy … a bounty of blessings to you, My Astute Friend! ⁓ Richard

[Randhir kaur]

I sensed the coming truth
as Autumn's leaves
began falling
like tears ~
washing around
my feet....
Lovely lines Richard.. I loved this very much...full of warmth..nice read..

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, dear Randhir!
Your words of expressed enjoyment and praise truly bless my efforts to write and please.
The lines you've selected to highlight are among my favorites as-well. : )

My most grateful appreciation to you! ⁓ Richard

[Renée]

You must know...Your pieces do not need a photo. They can stand quite strong on their own, with the imagery you create.. Tender, wistful and just plain lovely..

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, René, for such a nice compliment to my poetry! : )
I agree, they are necessary, of course, but I enjoy the photos/illustrations that accompany poems (mine and other's), as they offer a bit of visual enjoyment and ambience to help set the mood, when matching the poem's moment. A picture will not make a poor poem good, but it will dress a good poem up nicely, like icing on a delicious cake … don't you think, M'Lady?
Your praise and expressed enjoyment of this little piece is as a soft caress … warm and happy hugs to you! ⁓ Richard

[Renée]

Sir Richard,
Perhaps.... a dollop of whipped cream (:

[Richard🖌]

Indeed ... ! ; )

[Angelheart1]

Again, I was drawn in by your words and sitting there by the pond I could actually smell the Olive Oil in the air. This poem is filled with love and a longing for someone that is no longer there with you which brings sadness within my heart.

It is so amazing to read words that reach in to touch the core of my being and brings reality to the moment. You are a very talented writer Richard and I find joy in reading your words.

I am feeling somewhat inspired to write as I journey through your pages. Thank you . Angel

[Richard🖌]

Every now and again one of humble renderings will light-up with sentiments that touch me in ways my senses perk-up, coming alive with a knowing that someone actually read, identified with, and felt the essence of that which I released from my depths upon the page.
Your deeply gratifying review has stirred something primal and appreciated in my core, Angel, and I want you to know how very warmed and blessed I feel by you.
Your praise and expressed enjoyment of my poetic efforts, that you are inspired by them, and form the bliss you've made me feel, thereof, I warmly and gracious embrace you with my heart!

You inspire me, too! ; )
Here's a truly grateful toast to Thee, my fine lady-poet … "KLINK!" ⁓ Richard