Dance of Madness

Crazy girl,

Dancing frantically on the edge.

Twirling between life and death,

With a glaze of madness and touch of ice in her eyes.

She laughs hysterically as she teeters and totters,

A fine balance of weaves and wobbles.

Waiting for a gust of deliverance,

Her breath of salvation

To blow her one way or another.

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Excellent! I am confused by "Her breath of salvation" ... please explain your thoughts/feelings here. Thank you.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I was trying to keep with a theme of wind between the two... "gust of wind/gust of deliverance" and "breath of wind/breath of salvation". With the "breath of salvation" specifically, it's meant as kind of along the lines of something like a breath of her saving grace, a wind that will save her from this limbo/in the middle existence and will finally push her over the edge of one side or another. Does that help it make more sense or no? Hopefully it does! =)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Ah! Thanks!! I was being too literal-minded (no pun intended). I kept thinking, "OK. She's eaten a breath mint. It should help; either way." :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

lol No problem, glad I could explain it for you a little better!

[Brielle Cartny]

I like this!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

A nice well penned poem...
I like the most:
A fine balance of weaves and wobbles
waiting for a gust of deliverance...

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Raven]

Simple yet beautiful. So glad I went through my read requests :)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks :) A lot of my pieces seem to get really long so I tried to do a shorter piece yet still get emotion to come through.

[Raven]

Well you did a very nice job at it

[Allycat]

Powerful imagery! This poem is rather chilling. I can relate to this, since at one point that girl was me. There is hope for a better tommorow, I hope she doesn't fall over the edge, I hope she is saved.