Family Matters

...I think it could use some help... I'm just not sure what kind. o.O

           I hate the smell of hospitals. The mixture of disinfectant, blood, drugs, and powder gives me a headache. But normally when I’m in a hospital it’s because I want to be there: whether because a friend is sick or because I am sick. So normally the hospital is bearable. But I’m not sure that there’s anything that could make the geriatrics ward bearable. Only in the geriatrics, and maybe the morgue, do you smell old and decaying flesh, the scent of death. It’s disgusting, I wonder when I’ll be able to leave? But for now I have to sit here and be polite, Grandpa is dying after all and it’s such a shame. We really need to be here for him to show him our love.

        What bullshit. The past fifteen years have been nothing but hearing my parents b***h about the old b*****d and his ways. Fifteen years of bending over backwards trying to make him happy, only to get yelled at and to be told how utterly miserably you are as a human being. And Lord forbid you’re a girl. Then he only has use of you until you turn seven years old.

       When you’re little he loves you. “There’s nothing better than a cute girl to brighten your day” he always used to say right before he would give me or my sister a lollipop and would then proceed to entertain us with a story of what “his time was like”. When you’re seven defiance is cute and unimportant, it was just a little kid trying to garner attention and being cute. After all, when a little girl say “no” or “I hate you” she doesn’t really mean it, and it’s not like she had any way of forcing him to do anything. Then a little girl is just being an impetuous child and needs to be tolerated.

        But seven was a magical age for Grandpa, once a girl was seven she was treated as if she had turned into a live bomb. He became irritated and angry at everything and anything any little girl did. Little girls became opinionated idiots, too concerned with fashion and make-up, completely worthless in the real world, in his world. It wasn’t too bad if you obeyed him, always said “yes Grandpa” or “no problem”, but the first time you told him no, he crossed you off his list forever, and you might as well have been dead. You would have been better off being dead.

         I remember the first time I told him no. I was getting ready for school, and was running late. He wanted me to take out the garbage but I couldn’t because the bus was already outside and I had to run, I said “I’ll do it as soon as I get home Grandpa. I promise!” But by the time I got home it was already too late and I had gone from being a cute kid to a nasty b***h.

         From then on, he made my life hell. It wouldn’t have been so bad had he lived somewhere else but he lived in our basement so that we could take care of him as he got old. He was there everyday, all the time, always waiting to have the last word. I would come down the stairs in the morning for breakfast and he would call me a w***e, “Samantha, how could you let your daughter out of the house dressed like that? She looks like a f*****g skank. Besides, if you’re going to let your daughter walk around looking like a prostitute shouldn’t she at least look like expensive an one? I wouldn’t pay five bucks to screw that piece of s**t on sticks.”

        He was always there as a teen, when my body began to change in ways that I didn’t quite understand or like. “Ah, look it’s our own little Jezebel. Only loose women have those nasty curves, it marks them as easy so the men know where to go.” Puberty is hard enough by itself, the abuse made it unbearable, and the abuse was constant.

           “Lord almighty you’re getting fat, what did you go and get yourself knocked up or something?”

         “Mark, Samantha cheated on you. She had to, there’s no way something that ugly came from my son and me.”

         “You worthless piece of s**t, how long have you been home sick? You’re just a leech sucking your hard working father dry.”

         My mother hated him, and my father feared him. But they both would just shrug and say “He’s an old and angry man. That’s the way he is honey. You can’t change a person’s nature.”

       After a while I stopped trying to please him and instead just started ignoring him. When I was old enough I ran off to college, just like the rest of his girls. Except they didn’t make it through high school before having enough and leaving town. When I would come home to visit I would always stay with friends and I refused to see him.

           Now, ten years later, I’m finally seeing him face to face again.

         He can’t walk anymore, he was paralyzed from the waist down in a car crash awhile back. He face is sunken in. He had always been pale, it’s that good German blood, but now his skin was almost transparent. His veins traced across his face exaggerating all of his wrinkles making him look twenty years older than he actually was. His hands were bruised black from swelling and he wheezed as he breathed.

        “Jody, why don’t you keep you’re grandfather company while your father and I go get some coffee” my mum whispered as she squeezed my shoulder. She gathered my dad, who was surprisingly emotional over seeing his dad hospitalized and dying. I thought he’d be on my side with all of this, after all he lived with the old b*****d far longer than I ever did and I could barely stand to stay in the room with the old man.

         After they left the silence became deafening. The old b*****d sat there staring at me, with is mouth slowly opening and closing. His throat was too dry to talk and the only sound that came out was the dry rasping that pieces of sandpaper make when you rub them together. I probably should go over and give him some water so he can say whatever it was he is trying to say, but I was tired of the old b*****d always having the last word. So instead I walked away.

Reviews

[Ralphy]

I couldn't help you with well orchestrated piece I can only relate so if that helps then here goes. I can imagine the smells and know them too well (worked at a retirement home in my younger days). The heart wrenching ordeal the family dealt with almost made me cry as the old geezer push those that loved him away. His bitter tone towards the girls was his own childhood bleeding backwards but no one wanted to help him since he burned his bridges as he crossed.
I've seen many people like that in my passing days, most in the form of pain and growing old. They suffer so much, and feel left out that they just want to die. It's so pitiful since we all cross that avenue, but not all are in as much pain as others. As he laid there in with his mouth dry, wishing for water, he is realizing it time to meet his maker. And with one swooping gasp, would like to say thank you for putting up with me�I'm sorry for my Ridiculous Actions. You story was excellent to me

[Adela Muresan]

Woha, great write.
I parcicularly like it's realistic style and the strainght it reflects on the girl's side.

It doesn't need any help, leave it just as it is.

A.M.

[No one]

I hate the smell of hospitals. The mixture of disinfectant, blood, drugs, and powder gives me a headache. But normally when I'm in a hospital it's because I want to be there whether because a friend is sick or because I am sick. So normally the hospital is bearable. But I'm not sure that there's anything that could make the geriatrics ward bearable. Only in the geriatrics, and maybe the morgue, do you smell old and decaying flesh, the scent of death. It's disgusting, I wonder when I'll be able to leave? But for now I have to sit here and be polite, Grandpa is dying after all and it's such a shame. We really need to be here for him to show him our love.

[heSTOLEmyHEARTandIdidn'..]

"After all, when a little girl say "no" or "I hate you" she doesn't really mean it, and it's not like she had any way of forcing to do anything." when you say she had no way of forcing is it supposed to be she had no way of forcing you to do anything? It's very emotional and well written. ^^ kudos to you.

[GenevaCnwy]

This was written very nicely. The only thing I will add is how I can relate to the intro. It was almost a year ago were I spent days in a hospital because my grandmother was ill. I had to be there to support not only her but my mother. I couldn't tell you just how hard it was for me. The biggest fear I had was to be there when she died. I really would have rather traded places with my sisters at that point. I was the only one there in the hospital and I had just fallen asleep when I am awoken and informed that my mother was calling me to my grandmother's room. My worst fear is coming true. The one thing I didn't want to do I did. I was in the room when my grandmother passed and to this day it still haunts me. So, just wanted to say that the description of what you wrote brought back that memory. Having read what I typed it sounds like I am bitter. I am not and I apologize if I came off rude or something. Really did enjoy your piece though. Keep up the good work.

[Robert Luna]

The only real grandparent I have is my grandmother on my father's side. She isn't so much mean but scary as hell. There are only truly only two people on this planet I fear my grandmother and my mother. Both could f**k you up even on their death beds. So i come by my ability to scare people naturally. But I have to say I love my grandmother even when she is chewing my a*s out about something. like my tattoos or earrings or even my facial hair. All things she hates but no matter what she still loves me and would do anything in the world for me. I am sorry your grandfather is the way he is and it makes me sick when people say that's just the way they are. That is bullshit. My grandmother uses the word N****r to refer a candy she likes because that is what it was called when she was a kid. I asked her not to call it that anymore and she has never done it again. So people can and do change it when they know they can get a way with something they will continue too.


Enjoyed read more about your life and I am truly sorry you had a bad relationship with him. I do wish you luck in the time that comes to pass.

Well Done!!!!!