Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Irene]

wow this is beautiful. sad but beautiful. very nice.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! :)

[Muse]

You write about life...you can't get more profound than that! Like the young boy playing the violin in your avatar. Your emotions "move" the reader. Every syllable...it's like being lulled by the pied-piper....

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Keep playing we all say...keep playing!

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!

[Destructive Impulse]

Wow very dark. I like the rust part a lot.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Destructive Impulse]

No prob

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

"I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use"

such strong words!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Once again I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work! Thanks for reading!

[Missy]

awesome

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Enid Blake]

This is beautiful :)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! :-)

[Ian H Morrison]

love this your meter is really good and the graphics that appear are stunning like honey to the taste buds

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Ian H Morrison]

your welcome

[Brianna Van Zandt]

This is beautiful. There are no critiques. It's just....wow. Amazing. Emotional and a beautiful flow.

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[icaros13]

"As tired mind attempts to ease
My sorrows right here ending my pain
Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain
But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall"

This reflects the feeling of emotional despair and the futile attempts we make to assuage it... I know this feeling well.

[ewest1220]

As do I. Luckily these feelings do pass.... Anyways I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece thanks for reading!

[Anonymous Girl]

"My tears and my blood will fill me again
My tears and my blood will fill me again"

Nice one you did there. I like it ^.^

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Anonymous Girl]

My pleasure ^.^