Broken Rain

Broken Rain 

By: Ethan West

I am not like you

A battered bridge for others use

I am not like me

The man who fell down on his knees

A broken heart tied up with thread

Left scars of silence in it's tread

And even now my thought does cease

As tired mind attempts to ease

My sorrows right here ending my pain

Like a rusted rain jacket to fend off the rain

But rust as rust will, will crumble and fall

And drenched in my tears I'll desperately crawl

Away from the blood that broken heart leaks

Away from the pain that broken mind seeks

My pain has a way of being around

To beat me to death as I fall to the ground

The rain and the blood from broken heart patched

Like nothing I've seen, my spirit has crashed

It leaves me like this, away from my health

What was in my heart is now in my self

I lifted my head and she was above

Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove

She beat me to death on that beautiful plain

My tears and my blood serenading the rain

My tears and my blood will fill me again

My tears and my blood will fill me again

Author's Note

Any feedback is greatly appriciated

Reviews

[Timeless-Chan]

wow i'm awestruck by the pure emotion and expression that this piece holds. the battle that the narrator goes through is just pure sorrow and pain. and the last lines just seem to pull the piece together perfectly. I love the line "My tears and my blood serenading the rain" it's both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Bravo:)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm thrilled you like it!

[Mariah Corey]

I can feel the emotions and its so vivid. I like it

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Mariah Corey]

np. :D

[Junert]

I'm not much into poems but there's lots of emotions in there. Great.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Junert]

You are a great writer

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'll take a look at your work as soon as I can I'm sure you are a great writer as well :)

[Junert]

Well I'd say so but truthfuly not as good as you.

[Bookworm1223]

Ok, I've read some of your stories, and the prologue and first chapter of your book. And now this? Stop being so darn talented. Aside from envy at your obvious skill, this is so achingly beautiful that its fairly hard to put into words. I believe that everyone can relate to the feeling of surrender that is so clearly evidenced here. Amazing work, as always!

[ewest1220]

Wow thank you so much! I'm really flattered that you feel this way about my work thank you so much for reading!

[Dean]

I wish I had the readership that you do. Of course you have earned it, with fine writing such as this---shows the finesse of a good writer, which, alas, I shall not become. But you have, and I salute you!

[ewest1220]

Hey now none of that! I've read your work and I really like it! But hey I'm quite thrilled you enjoyed this piece thank you for reading!

[Dean]

Just being realistic...the evidence is in response. But, no matter.

[ewest1220]

lol either way I've enjoyed what I've read so far! Can you send me a read request so I can see some more of your work? I'm a little backed up at the moment but I should be able to get to you within a week or so.

[Dean]

Nah, you don't need a reminder. I wouldn't burden you with addiional email. Thanks. I have enough stuff here to keep you amused. It's in plain sight.

[ewest1220]

Alright sounds good! I'll check it out later!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love this emotive piece..it bleeds truth in the emotions you have conveyed. I felt sad as I read this, yet hopeful in the end. Well penned!

"What was in my heart is now in my self
I lifted my head and she was above
Her face bore the grace of a beautiful dove
She beat me to death on that beautiful plain
My tears and my blood serenading the rain
My tears and my blood will fill me again"~ This gives me chills...such a Breathtaking write!

[ewest1220]

Wow! Thank you I'm glad you liked it! Thank you so much for reading!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

It's a beautifully written piece...It was my pleasure. :)

[RachelReaper]

Pure, raw, and not-holding-back is the way to go with poetry ans in this poem, its all there. The emotion is definitely pure, raw, and not going to hold back and that's what I like most about this.

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

awesome, its so nice the emotion and words you put on are extraordinary they are great I loved this poem specially
I am not like you
A battered bridge for others use
I am not like me
The man who fell down on his knees
these lines!!

[ewest1220]

Wow thank! I'm glad you liked it thanks for reading!

[Akhand Pratap Singh]

my pleasure :)

[Seyi Ojenike]

A serious purgation of your emotions... The reader in your shoes, feeling what pains you're experiencing. A good write

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[gombeggar]

pained heart speaking louder then a fog horn

[ewest1220]

Hopefully loud is a good thing XD

[gombeggar]

sometimes, yeah

[Erika Jones]

This made me cry by the end of the poem :'( Great job! A poem such as this should make the reader cry. It's filled with so much emotion and you can definitely feel what the person is feeling. Cheers!

[ewest1220]

Aww! Well you made me blush! Hey I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work thank you so much for reading!

[Erika Jones]

Don't mention it! :) And no problem! (insert heart here)