Chilly Morning Mysteries

What we imagine in the fog....

Chilly morning mysteries

My heart skips a beat

Through the thick veil of fog

Memories can’t compete.

                              

Huddled under the covers

Clinging to the coat tails of gone

Drowning in warm sorrows

They’ll never know what went wrong.

 

Frozen breath creeps like ice

This becomes my parting artifice

My heart no longer beats in my chest

I've been elevated above the rest.

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading. Reviews and thoughts always welcome.

Photograph by Kristin Lee

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Oh Kristin,

This one wrenches the reader. You have said so much in just a few stanzas. It is a beautifully written demise and there is a line that resounds above all the other beautiful ones:

Clinging to the coat tails of gone

Thank is brilliant!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing this one, that's actually my favorite line too :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This is an enchanting affirmation, motivated by the chill, lovely to read.

[Eddy Jones]

A great poem and thank you for sharing.
Eddy.

[Kristin Lee]

Thanks for reading :)

[Imara]

It took me two reading to understand what was going on in this poem but wow great storytelling here. The narration in an on present yet already dead voice tells us no one will know how she died besides the suicide or why she choose this path to end her/his own life. The one thing I don't understand is the italics on "My heart skips a beat" I think I understand the line perfectly well-it's about the nervousness as she's about to do it. But I think the italic are just kind of there and don't really give the phrase a new meaning nor does it make me read it differently.
and there is one line in the first stanza,"Memories can’t compete." I think you're sying that all the good memories you have can't compete with these feelings that are making our narrator end their life. But I'm not sure.
Overall great story telling here, I really get ever image in my head and I just love your double meaning in the last line. Honestly I cannot properly express how much I love that line! It's just perfect and the picture, which gives that line its double meaning, is just great. Good job once again :)

[Kristin Lee]

Very good eye Imara. The first stanza is meant to be an abstract view of this persons grief. That's why the thoughts come out almost fractured. And, the one line that is in italics was written that way because it's meant increase the feeling that this person is truly afraid to say it, afriad to admit their world is falling apart.

I really appreciate your indepth reviews and keen eye to detail. Thank you for reading and imparting me with your thoughts :)

[Imara]

Ah...I see now. It makes more sense on why you would put it that way. The feeling you were trying to give off makes more sense now but I would still suggest some change to make it a it more clear.
Thank you for writing :)

[Criss ;)]

Now i'm really very wondered here to see this piece, your skills are nice.......and great.
you know what i just loved this phrase n this phrase has ripped me
Frozen breath creeps like ice
This becomes my parting artifice
My heart no longer beats in my chest
I've been elevated above the rest.......

wow, what a great write "Frozen breath creeps like ice", this single line's awesome, i loved this n here;s now warm days but your all fresh writin'sre showin' me some views of mists....i can make some views after read this piece...
again, your pic.'s damn beautiful, i loved these cliffs....n water that's flowin' on the bank.......(i know there's no water, but i can imagine...lol)

lovely write once again.
thanks for sharin' this piece especially :)
have this now for this piece ffrom my heart 100 / 100 :)

have a nice writin'
take care.......!!

[Astro]

A chilling enigma indeed, but what an exit to study and ponder. That fog, so defying and refusing to reveal. Some mysteries are best unsolved for the truth hanging above your head, may be too heavy to bear. I got a bit caught on your use of the word 'artifice' for a moment but after I studied further, my heart gave meaning my mind couldn't devise. The deaths you will lay upon the page of your stories will one day bring weeping from your fans.

[Kristin Lee]

Wow, thank you so much for the very kind review!

[Astro]

I could do no less. You're welcome.

[Angi]

Your photos are always so beautiful. I love, 'clinging to the coattails of gone' That one little phrase has me seeing the devastation. Nicely done, Kristen Lee!

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Beautifully written. The imagery here was outstanding, and you truly kept your theme precise and clear throughout. A metaphorical playground, this one. Well done.

[Kristin Lee]

Wow, thank you for the awesome review! A metaphorical playground.

[Raven Cedrone]

The last stanza was particularly chilling and a great ending to the poem. It brought it all together and really made the piece a powerful write, in my opinion.
I love your descriptions on even the most simplest of things such as... "Clinging to the coat tails of gone" Such a clever description of something so simple.
A wonderful write.

~Raven

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you! That seems to be the popular line...I am so glad too because it was also my favorite :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"clinging to the coat tails of gone"---love the personification of "gone"--

i see this as someone not waking...there is fog that covers life...masks it within the dying breaths..and no one will no what happened...why the heart ceased to beat.
"the parting artifice" is so good too...love that phrasing.

my other take...and often i have more than one at once...crazy me..i saw this person tired of heartbreak...receding into the fog of protection...and now we rise above that heartbreak because we will not give in to love again...our hearts will sleep through any advances..won't allow itsef to be awakened.

nice write.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you! That was my favorite line...it felt a little funny write, but then it just felt right. And I think either take could work well for this poem. In fact there are layers upon layers in this one :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice photo. I love the the symbol you used here...the fog. Mornings usually signify a new beginning. But the fog make the morning unclear...like a new day in one's life which is not clear if there would be joy after all.

Nice poem.

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you for reading and the review :) Yes, little opposite from normal. Then again I am not a morning person and I hail from the coast when fog is a normal part of the morning. It's almost like each morning the fog has to be peeled back like a blanket before we can begin the day (back home). Some days, the fog stays all day...it truly is like a mystery.