Chapter 9: Blaire

Blaire was driving at night, stoned out of her mind.   She had just experienced the most wonderful high that had left her mind spinning and slightly incoherent. Melvin had copped some s**t from Dice, and it was so good, it made him share a few hits with Blaire behind the pool room.  Blaire had to have it, and even though she knew she had no business driving, she was willing to take a chance. 

            Typically, Blaire could drive while under the influence of drugs, but this time Blaire was acutely aware that she would encounter difficulties operating a vehicle.  The crack was so good, Blaire had to toss all precaution to the wind.  Blaire’s believed in the philosophy of getting the good while the good is getting.  It was never known when potent product would be available again, so she had no choice.

            Blaire gripped the steering wheel of the old 4x4 so hard, her knuckles turned white from lack of blood circulation.  She was not even bothered.  She was willing to do whatever was necessary to steady the shaking of her hands.  She couldn’t tell if she was swerving on the road or not, and her confidence in her driving skills was rapidly decreasing.  She tried to focus on the road, but the paralyzing fear of seeing blue lights flashing behind her kept Blaire’s eyes glued to the rear view mirror.

“If I can just hold it together for another mile, I can just take a back road,” Blaire contemplated aloud, even though it would mean a longer trip.

            “If you go to jail, you can’t smoke crack,” she coached herself, “and this s**t is much too good and powerful to miss out on”

            “Drive the car straight until you get off the main road.  You can do this.  You’re this close to heaven!”

            After what seemed like an eternity, Blaire turned left onto Highway 15.  Her dealer did not live too deep in the Canadys, but Blaire’s paranoia was getting the best of her.  Driving on the back road did not make her feel too much better.  Blaire thought the darkness and stillness of a less traveled path would give her comfort as she committed her illegal activity, but it did not.  Blaire’s anxiety continued to grow.

            She became aware of the time.  She had told Dice she would be there in thirty minutes, but that was forty-five minutes ago.  Blaire knew dealers may never be on time to serve their clients, but when they said they were going out, they left on time, and the crack shop closed for the rest of the night.  Blaire did not have time to wait until the next afternoon to find out if it were even a possibility to get her hands on the same s**t she just had.  Blaire prayed Dice had not left for the club yet.  She only wanted what he had.

            To Blaire’s dismay, a blue Volvo station wagon suddenly pulled out in front of her, then slowed down so much the vehicle was practically creeping. 

“No!” Blaire screamed, enraged by the presences of an obstacle when she was so close to the end.

When she spoke to Dice while she was at the pool room, she had begged him to wait for her.

“If you not here by the time I leave, then that’s it for the night.  Don’t be blowing me up,” Dice said over the phone.

“I’m not far away.  Can you just leave it somewhere, and I leave the money in the same place?” Blaire asked desperately.

Dice laughed hysterically, “You talking nonsense.  Aint nobody gonna trust no crack head,”

Blaire heard the dial tone in when Dice hung up on her.  She thought she could still hear the dial tone.  It was the theme song to her doom in that moment.  Blaire just knew she wasn’t going to make it.

            Blaire felt her blood pressure rising.  All she could thing about was missing her next fix.  Her entire night would be ruined if she missed Dice.  It was just by chance that Melvin had offered Blaire some of Dice’s product as she was leaving Dave’s, and after spending the whole evening searching for drugs, it was relieving to know that not only had she finally located the drugs, but it was actually pretty damn great. No matter what she got her hand on, all Blaire would be able to do is obsess about what she didn’t have, and that was no way to enjoy a high.

            The traffic on the opposite side of the road wouldn’t allow Blaire’s passage around the creeping Volvo, so Blaire’s foot increased the pressure on the accelerator without thought.  Blaire did not have a single ounce of remorse as the bumper of the bumper of the 4x4 closed in on the Volvo.  Blaire clenched her teeth and floored the pedal, connecting with the Volvo. 

            She knew she must have looked deranged to the two people inside who were peering back at her.  Blaire could see the mouth of the elderly woman in the passenger seat moving frantically.  The face of the gray haired driver couldn’t be seen, but Blaire’s eyes met his in the Volvo’s rearview mirror.  He angrily flailed his free arm at Blaire.   In that moment, Blaire could not have cared less about who she was running off the road.  Luckily, for the couple there was only miles of flat fields off the road, but Blaire really didn’t care if she had to run them off a bridge.  She would do anything thing to get Dice’s crack, so she was more than willing to do what was necessary to get the Volvo out the way. 

            Blaire let off of the gas, then applied full force to the accelerator again.  Blaire could see the gaping mouth of the old woman as she held both of her hands up.  Blaire had no mercy; f**k mercy; f**k that Volvo; f**k the people inside that Volvo.  Blaire had to have crack.  Nothing else mattered at all, not even gaining attention for what she was doing. 

            All Blaire knew was she had to run that Volvo off the road before anyone could call the cops on her.  For the last time, Blaire took her foot off the gas, then floored it.  When she saw the vehicle leaving the road and rolling onto the dead grass, Blaire’s heart gladdened.  What a relief she felt!  She only hoped Dice had not left yet.

“Jesus, please!” she pleaded.

Blaire quickly took the first turn off the road before she encountered a Good Samaritan who had witnessed her crime.  Just as she turned she glanced in the rearview mirror, and she could see two other vehicles were turning around to assist the Volvo.

“Good.  They are being helped,” she thought, as she navigated through the back roads. 

            She was an expert with back roads. She never went anywhere without knowing multiple routes to get to there.  She didn’t have time to feel like a trapped rat in a police check point.  Just the thought of cops almost made Blaire lose focus.  Cops spooked her when she was high, and especially while she was driving high.  The last thing she needed was to be pulled over.

“Get it together,” she coached herself.

“You won’t be smoking anything if you get popped, b***h,”

Blaire’s toothy grin came when she finally saw Dice’s street sign, but immediately disappeared when she saw the blue flashing lights in the driver’s side mirror.

“F**k!” Blaire sang, “This can’t be life right now!”

“I just want some crack! Jesus Christ!”

            With one light and siren, Blaire’s entire mood was fucked up.  She didn’t care that her life could be fucked up, only that was she was not smoking.  She had no insurance on the vehicle, a forged temporary tag, and the vehicle was not registered on top of all that.  She didn’t even have her license with her. 

            Blaire didn’t even know where she would begin if the cop approached her.  With one wave of his flashlight, he would see her green eyes were so dilated that she looked like a cat.  For once in her life, Blaire couldn’t think of a lie; at least not a lie good enough to get her out of this mess.  She thought of the countless number of times she had gotten away with s**t without consequences.  Even when she got away with s**t, it lingered in the back of her mind that one day all her wrong doing would catch up with her. 

            Blaire figured today was that day.  As Blaire pulled the 4x4 onto the side of the road, she decided she would just take it like a woman.  Sure, she’d be crying on the inside like a baby because she didn’t get her fix, but she wouldn’t even try to lie.  Maybe it was time to stop smoking crack.  She didn’t know how the cop had found her, especially so quickly.  Blaire was sure she had gotten away, but was apparently very wrong.  She parked the car and waited for the cop; and waited.

            Perhaps she had a lapse in time from all the crack she had just smoked, but the cop didn’t pull his vehicle behind her.  In fact, he kept going and increased his speed.  Several moments passed before it sank in to Blaire that the cop had never even been after her, and with that thought, her Cheshire cat smile returned with a vengeance.

            It was funny to her that moments before, she was ready to giver herself an intervention like a dummy.  She couldn’t believe she was ready to give up like that.  She pulled into Dice’s yard just as he was about to back out.  She blocked him in and thought about what luck she had to overcome all those obstacles and still catch Dice before he got lost for the night.

            Who was she fooling? She was indeed invincible and meant to smoke crack that night.  She was so blessed and covered to go through all that and still find the pot of gold after the rainbow.  Blaire decided she was going big tonight; she’d figure out how she would pay the past due light bill later.