~Costly Consequences~

How much is a friendship worth?

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times am hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

-Marilyn Monroe

 

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."

-William Arthur Ward

Lost in my frosty defenses

unwilling to kill distance

building more lofty fences

shielding glossy pretenses

twisted viscous existence

yielding costly consequences.

 

Alone... reeling from lessons learned

feeling each broken bridge being burned

crying corrodes this haunting throne

earning each hateful word you’ve thrown

sowing stones hoping to atone

knowing I did this on my own.

 

Yearning deep down for love

yet drowning in fear, I shove

worthless when I get nervous

forgetting I’m not perfect.

 

Wrecked with regret when I reflect

still my will won’t disconnect

sealing my heart to protect

concealing chambers it suspects

cancerous complex I can’t correct.

 

I’m not an angel

… no, not at all

say things in anger

behind these walls.

 

This isn’t war

not today

just slam the door

walk away…

 

… Or-stop hurting me

accept me as I am

with the guarantee

I’ll always be your friend.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

There seems to be moments in life when all defenses are put to one side. When speaking to a friend we might say: "I feel hurt" I think as I have observed; they do not mean that they have been injured on an accident and they are in deperate need of ER. In some of the cases that I have come across it is a moment of self- realazation. It seems like a strange thing to say. If one has come to realize why is it that it hurts? Maybe because the experience demands that we die internally so that something new can come about. A piece of us dies and another one is brough about. No more wars but acceptance, no more fear of crashing but embrace me and love me, because although I am full of complexities I will not stop trying to be the best that I can be for you.

You have a way to outpour feelings it makes me think I have a carrot stuck in my throat.

Thank you.

[AprilRN1210]

not only is that a huge compliment Rene, but made me giggle slightly at the explanation.. You know how much your reviews and thoughts mean to me.. you are one of the reasons I have the confidence to share so openly.. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you...

[Matching Socks]

I can feel this heartfelt plea. We're all broken in someway, no one is perfect.
You connect with the emotions so wonderfully in your writing. As if I'm living it too.
Nice one my beautiful little Grape. You're perfect to me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one around here that would say that.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you girl.. you are so sweet, I appreciate it.. ((hugs))

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. ((Hugs))

[DoormanDan]

This poem is very powerful. Your rhyme scheme, vocab, and use of literary devices really add more energy to the already energized punch of this wonderful. On top of that, the font color you used suits the atmosphere perfectly. I would say well done, but that wouldnt be good enough for this masterpiece :)

[AprilRN1210]

oh wow, what a review.... I am humbled by this awesome response.. Thank you so much, I am glad you enjoyed.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful quotes and amazing poetry.
"Or-stop hurting me
accept me as I am
with the guarantee
I’ll always be your friend."
I liked the honest tone in your words. The above lines stood out for me. Thank you dear Poet for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much dear friend.. I appreciate it.. the truth isn't always pretty and to look deep inside and share what you see isn't always easy...

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree and we have no option except to tell the truth.

[Zahra]

We wish acceptance from our friends most of all. We don't want them yo become saviours but people who can respect and understand. This is such a beautiful poem, loved it.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much.. I agree, that respect and understanding is very important.. like you said, I don't need you to save me, but "see me", understand, accept, and respect.. and I will give back in kind..

[Avinash]

Very first thing, I loved the two quotes at the top. Then I started reading the poem, I could notice all is not well in the paradise. Friendship like love has to be unconditional. It accepts you the way you are. Even if people see flaw in each other, it is right of a true friend to let another person see the truth without hurting the self image, without insulting and it needs only friendly whisper to ask "open your eyes".

[AprilRN1210]

I couldn't decide between those two, so decided to insert both, I am glad you enjoyed.. As far as the piece goes, I agree.. Friendship is a bond where you should be able to be open, honest, respected and accepted.. flaws and all.. Thank you for this insightful, thoughtful review, Avinash. I appreciate it..

[Troy Henson]

Good friends are certainly hard to find April....we often let our defences down and become vulnerable only to be let down. Perfection is a word and often what we see on the outside is not what's on the inside so how do we really know...if tha's how we look at people....what they are trully like. Beauty is only skin deep and I know when I want top get to know someone, I like to find out waht makes them tick. No one is perfect, we all have differences and no 2 people are ever the same. I think it's very unfortunate these days that helping hands are just not reciprocated or favours returned as they should be. Real friends are those that are their through good times and bad..real friends know who you are and accept you for who you are and not what they want you to be.

Troy

[AprilRN1210]

Oh my goodness, hey stranger!!.. Good, true friends are a blessing, I agree--hard to find.. what makes people "tick" and how they treat others is very important.. and yes.. no one is perfect.. Thank you for your support, wisdom, and lovely review.. I have missed you my friend..

[An owl on the moon]

Such a flow of depth in this ocean of you... these words carry us across the vastness of your life... there is such an aching here.. a longing... and that friendship in the balance... Made my soul slip into these dark shadows...

[AprilRN1210]

This one was written in those dark shadows filled with pain and longing.. I am sorry to make you slip into them, but I admit, I am glad you are here.. Thank you my dear friend.. ((hugs))

[An owl on the moon]

I'm just thankful you're not still lingering in that place... Need to keep you in those warm places of light... :)

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

the poem and this music made this a beautiful experience....it is a joy to read your works

[AprilRN1210]

you are very kind, thank you so much.

[DJ]

Melancholy steeped in angst and self awareness,nicely written.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you DJ, so nice to see you..

[Dez H.]

wow and to throw the song in is perfect. I love this; it's the first poem i have read this year and i'm so glad i came across it because it's my new favorite. Good s**t ms lady I'm a fan.

[AprilRN1210]

Well thank you kindly.. I appreciate it.. nice to meet you.