~Costly Consequences~

How much is a friendship worth?

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times am hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

-Marilyn Monroe

 

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."

-William Arthur Ward

Lost in my frosty defenses

unwilling to kill distance

building more lofty fences

shielding glossy pretenses

twisted viscous existence

yielding costly consequences.

 

Alone... reeling from lessons learned

feeling each broken bridge being burned

crying corrodes this haunting throne

earning each hateful word you’ve thrown

sowing stones hoping to atone

knowing I did this on my own.

 

Yearning deep down for love

yet drowning in fear, I shove

worthless when I get nervous

forgetting I’m not perfect.

 

Wrecked with regret when I reflect

still my will won’t disconnect

sealing my heart to protect

concealing chambers it suspects

cancerous complex I can’t correct.

 

I’m not an angel

… no, not at all

say things in anger

behind these walls.

 

This isn’t war

not today

just slam the door

walk away…

 

… Or-stop hurting me

accept me as I am

with the guarantee

I’ll always be your friend.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

There seems to be moments in life when all defenses are put to one side. When speaking to a friend we might say: "I feel hurt" I think as I have observed; they do not mean that they have been injured on an accident and they are in deperate need of ER. In some of the cases that I have come across it is a moment of self- realazation. It seems like a strange thing to say. If one has come to realize why is it that it hurts? Maybe because the experience demands that we die internally so that something new can come about. A piece of us dies and another one is brough about. No more wars but acceptance, no more fear of crashing but embrace me and love me, because although I am full of complexities I will not stop trying to be the best that I can be for you.

You have a way to outpour feelings it makes me think I have a carrot stuck in my throat.

Thank you.

[AprilRN1210]

not only is that a huge compliment Rene, but made me giggle slightly at the explanation.. You know how much your reviews and thoughts mean to me.. you are one of the reasons I have the confidence to share so openly.. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you...

[Trace]

Very powerful and full of honest emotions.

Take care of you my friend.

HUGGS. ... Trace

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you Trace... I am trying.. ((hugs)) back

[Tate Morgan]

I for one never want to meet the perfect woman imperfection is much more unique and beautiful

[Thayle L.]

I know quite a few who are perfect by being imperfect

[AprilRN1210]

thank you Tate, and I agree, the beauty is in our imperfections and uniqueness..

[Baby Ricochet]

Good rhyming scheme in this. I've never been with an Angel. I've only been with women and they don't have wings or perfect consciences. I don't either. So we're even from the start

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you my friend.. always a pleasure to hear your thoughts..

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

First off, each verse is a complexing tongue twister… you are right, we all are human and therefore we error, so to truly care means excepting someones downfalls as well as appreciating their positive actions.

[AprilRN1210]

guess it got all twisted up with my emotions... :)
Thank you Dale, I appreciate it.. couldn't agree more, acceptance is crucial.. we all make mistakes..

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Yes we do, we seem to forget that when the error is on the other foot.

[AprilRN1210]

unfortunately, too true.. thank you again Dale..

[TheLostMind]

A really good write April.. :)

[AprilRN1210]

thank you very much.. nice to see you :)

[Lydia Shutter]

BRAVA!!! Friends have to accept that no one is perfect....we all make mistakes and since no one is exactly like someone else, we WILL disagree. Walking away the first time something like that happens only proves the friendship was not strong to begin with. Some people can not allow the walls to disappear. Being there when someone is going through hell and just being supportive is impossible for them because they are selfish. The quotes you chose to start your presentation with are superb and the set up of your poem is artful. The words, well, they hit me. Honest emotions. Wonderful work, my friend. Lydi**

[AprilRN1210]

I agree with you wholeheartedly.. I admit this one came from a deep place of reflection and pain... just had to let it out.. your positive spirit and encouragement always feels like a big comforting hug that warms my heart and makes my soul smile.. thank you so much Lydia.. I appreciate you and your friendship..

[wordman]

I will be mad but always`s a friend and if I slam that door
you know I`ll be back again so I`ll take you as you are because you are...

[AprilRN1210]

we all get mad.. we all make mistakes... some doors once shut, shouldn't be reopened.. thank you my friend.. you are sweet.. I appreciate it:)

[wordman]

that`s why they are xx`s your welcome

[AprilRN1210]

ha!.. I vaguely remember saying that recently :)

[wordman]

oh hell ` I`m a plagarist

[AprilRN1210]

lmao... cute:P

[wordman]

my experience with nurses is most of them are a little crazy

[AprilRN1210]

stereotyping and plagiarism.. you are on a roll... nice :P
can't speak for anyone but myself.. besides... what is crazy?...

[wordman]

not you of course I meant others lol I wrote a poem about nurses

[AprilRN1210]

oh really?.. piqued my curiosity now.. can I read it?..

[wordman]

I will post it later,working on taxes

[wordman]

a nurse`s job is never done all day long they have to run here's a taste

[Woody]

in other words, accept me for what I am, warts and all and I'll be your friend for ever.
beautiful and spoken from the heart, April. there are some great lines here.

[AprilRN1210]

exactly Woody!... acceptance is one of the requirements... thank you my sweet friend.. Always a pleasure to see you:)

[BL]

Beautifully written, loved this

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you!.. I am glad you enjoyed.. nice to meet you:)

[BL]

You are welcome and you too...