NOTABLE DISPLEASURE

relationships, war

NOTABLE DISPLEASURE

 

I reach the bridge

As blue clouds shield a brilliant sunset

I trod over the wooden planks

A bubbling stream below

Its mellifluous notes catch my breath

Tis my respite, my meandering mind

 

I lean on the old wooden railing

My notions engage

I am smitten over his presumption

I shall tarry with his dignity

By means of his absence

I note his expectations of me are foolish

 

Tears embark on utter screams

That he has misconstrued our separation

He drifts with his soldier buddies

While I waft alone with my dreams

If he truly cherishes me

He shall commiserate sorrow

 

I sense a pungent aroma nearby

I gently pick a rose off a bush

And breathe in a mesmerizing scent

 

My mind still dubious

I wander down the path

Drinking in all of nature that I see

Yet in my mind’s back door

There is notable displeasure

 

Author's Note

part of a series "At Bridges End"

Reviews

[H K Singh]

Very nice painting of Nature ..

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your words..
Best, B

[DIVYA]

Parting and distance create such angst...one feels uncared for, perhaps ignored and not cherished. Yet all the time, it's not the dearth of love but a gap in communication. I love this series and your fullness of expression of every natural and spontaneous emotion felt in love.

[Betty Hermelee]

A heartfelt review from an excellent poet
Thank you Divya my friend, so appreciated.
PS I’m at grandkids graduation so not really reviewing, but promise when I return home!
Best to you,
B.

[DIVYA]

Please have a wonderful time. Reviews will wait. Loved ones are precious and must take priority always. You're wished much joy and great things, my friend.

[Betty Hermelee]

Reviews can wait sometimes but not all the time, I have a free moment in between graduations so I’m writing to thank you for all of your support!
Best
B🙏

[DIVYA]

You are most welcome, dear Betty. Have a wonderful day. :)

[Robert Trakofler]

The tone of this pulled me right into the meanderings of the dialogue in the voice in this poem with the meandering of the actions painted crossing the bridge.

Yet in my mind’s back door
There is notable displeasure

What perfect phrasing!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Robert for seeing the nuances in this poem… and there are some….
Best, B

[Coyote Poetry]

I feel sorry for the children. I wonder what they think about the messy world dear Betty.
"My mind still dubious
I wander down the path
Drinking in all of nature that I see
Yet in my mind’s back door"
I watch the news and I become heavy with sadness. I must clear out the bad stuff and take care of the family. Powerful and worthwhile poetry my dear friend.
Coyote
There is notable displeasure

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you John for a notable review!!
Best, B

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Betty.

[Soren]

Dualities, pleasant and annoying in the same picture. This provides the tension that motivates life. This sets the scene of how each person has their own perceptions and with them their own emotions that accompany them. We find it so hard to understand why others don't feel the same as we do. Very nice

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Soren, much appreciated!
Best, B

[Tom]

The enrapturing sunset so splendid to behold, yet the skies above give clues as they speak of a lover now far afield on foreign lands, his heart carefree in contrast to a lovelorn, anxious partner, does he even remember??

' Tears embark on utter screams

That he has misconstrued our separation

He drifts with his soldier buddies

While I waft alone with my dreams

If he truly cherishes me

He shall commiserate sorrow '

Amazing

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Tom for a thoughtful review!
Best, B

[Pete]

do we cross or not. could feel the tug of war, discomfort and indecision as i read. relationships never easy. we follow our hearts wherever they may lead us. what choice do we really have? love the accompanying pic ... :)

"Our hearts are warm and cheery, like cottages under drifts. The heart is forever inexperienced. The kindness I have longest remembered has been of this sort, the sort unsaid; so far behind the speaker's lips that almost it already lay in my heart." - Thoreau

[Betty Hermelee]

Great review and loved the quote! Thank you Pete for you generous support!
Best, B

[willweb]

Now that is sad and what is even sadder to me is, I didn't see this when you posted it. How do I miss these things? The poem Betty is written beautifully, the emotions are deeply felt because of your amazing word usage and the story just keeps me longing for more. Somewhere inside I know that he will come to his sense and run, without hesitation, back to this beautiful woman who desires him so. So wonderful my talented friend.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much my friend, a stunning review!
Best, B

[Ladysue]

Betty, this poem has a smooth, elegant flow with a soft mesmerizing feel. The soothing sound of bubbling brook is a respite for the meandering mind. The way you intertwined nature and emotion throughout in this piece is brilliant. Great vocabulary. This may be my favorite of the series. Much enjoyed the read.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a beautiful review L.S.
Best, B

[Ladysue]

Always a pleasure, Betty :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and he is far off somewhere involved in a war he doesn't understand...and his heart is with the speaker on that bridge, seeing and feeling what she does...or at least that is what she hopes is true.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

hopes it's true is the key here; we don't know where his mind is... or at least she doesn't know; thanks for the interesting review.
Best, B