Wildflower (Chapter 23)

Chapter 23

 

            Sugar had made up her mind what to do, maybe she had her crazy mother decided to abduct her. It was obvious why her mother that never cared about her before wanted her now. But she had been used enough in her lifetime and she was tired of it. If her mother wanted revenge she picked the wrong way to get it. She was comforted by the thought that after this her mother would finally get what she deserved. Ever since her mother chased her father away she hated her. Then what did Katrina do? She not only made up lies to keep her ex-husband away but she married another man. A man she barely knew, but of course any man with money would do for her.

            Once Sugar had actually been a happy child and she had loved her big brother so much. And then everything in her world was turned upside down. Her stupid irresponsible mother left her home with him; Katrina couldn’t be bothered to deal with her sick child. Sugar had been sick but now she forgot what had been wrong. Markus was at school, he had pleaded with their mother to stay home to take care of her, but she said no. And he came in her room when they were alone and everything changed. Markus had decided to skip school and come home and he was too late by the time he got back. After that she wasn’t sure what really happen. All she knew was that her brother came to save her and that he called their uncles. The rest was a big blur.

            Sometimes she had nightmares about what happened. Her mother had actually cried when she came home and she kept telling her how sorry she was. Then only a few weeks later Sugar woke up to arguing, she got out of her bed to find her mother and brother arguing about her. The next day while their mother was out Markus came into her room and started packing her stuff, he told her he was going to take her away. And he was her brother so she would have followed him anywhere. But of course Katrina stopped him from taking her and she told him to leave. That was it, she never saw her brother again. And a piece of her died when he was gone.

            Only a year later her mother got married again and Katrina pretended nothing ever happened and like Markus never existed. So Sugar did everything she could to stay out of her mother’s house. Mostly she stayed over Sammie’s house and that was how she met Wildflower. Somehow as she got older she developed bad habits to numb her pain. And she hated herself for what she did, but that didn’t stop her. It wasn’t like her mother cared what she did; Katrina was always off social climbing through her husbands. Being a woman in a family that was into business but not into letting the females of the family in the business, she had to find other ways to get attention. Most of her husbands cheated on her, they never loved her and Sugar thought maybe it was punishment for the things her mother did.

            Now here she was without any real options, she couldn’t let her stupid mother hurt her anymore. At least she finally got Sammie to go out with Evan, and that was what mattered. Sammie was her best friend her whole life, even though Katrina tried to keep them apart because she didn’t like Sammie’s mother. Sugar finally found a guy that she thought she could be in love with, not that what she had been doing was good. But she was sure that she was in love with Ivan and at least she sort of had him. That was better than nothing and he knew how she felt. Spending the night with him holding her had made her feel the safest she ever had. Maybe that was why her and Sammie usually just shared a bed, she hated being alone. And then there was Wildflower, she picked her up countless times from parties and didn’t judge her for her behavior. Having Wildflower in her life was almost like having a mother, only she was more of a big sister. But at least she always cared and let Sugar and Sammie come stay the night with her and she would just listen. It was good to have someone that would listen to her, that was what her therapist got paid for but she felt better talking to Wildflower.

            For a moment she started to wonder if this was a good idea. Her Uncle Nick wouldn’t let her mother get away with what she did. But the trouble was that who would go after a mother that took her own daughter? She watched enough TV to know that legally Katrina didn’t really do anything wrong. And the possibility of spending anymore time with Katrina helped her make up her mind. It was a lot harder than she thought it would be. While her mother was in another room talking to whoever that guy out there was, she went into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. Her hands were shaking when she took out the scissors she found in the drawer. She closed her eyes as she dragged the scissors across her arm and she started to bleed.

 

 

            Wildflower was in Sammie’s room trying to calm her down but that seemed impossible. She wanted to choke the other girls for telling her about Sugar. They had not been doing her a ‘favor’ like they thought they were. Sammie would not stop crying and that was not surprising, Sugar was her best friend. How else were you supposed to react when you found out your best friend slit her wrists? If it wasn’t for the fact that Sammie needed her right now Wildflower would have stabbed Katrina through the heart. That was what she deserved, but she was sitting with Sammie instead.

            Nicolas was ‘handling’ everything, he was always handling things. At least stupid Katrina had gotten Sugar to a hospital. This was all Katrina’s fault and Wildflower wasn’t the only one that thought so. Pretty much everybody blamed Katrina and they should, she caused this. But Wildflower felt guilty too, she told Katrina to talk to Sugar. Though when she suggested that she never imagined that Katrina was crazy enough to kidnap Sugar because Nicolas had become her guardian and that had been new to Wildflower. He never said a word about it, but then again there hadn’t been time to. She wasn’t mad at him from not telling her, she had been the one telling him that they needed to help Sugar. Apparently nobody helped her enough because now she was in the hospital and she almost died.

            A long time ago after Daisy died Wildflower herself had been borderline suicidal. She didn’t want to live in a world without her sister in it. But she had responsibilities and she couldn’t do that to Ivan and her other siblings, that didn’t stop her from thinking about it. Wouldn’t it have been easier for her if she just died and then she wouldn’t always be stressed out and she wouldn’t have to deal with her mother. No more working and taking care of her little brothers and never having extra money for anything because they had to pay their mother’s overdue bills. It would have been easy and she would have gotten out of having to do so much. Instead she just kept working and doing what she needed to do for her family. Wasn’t that what Daisy would have wanted? Maybe she wouldn’t have wanted her sister to be a stripper but that was not a choice she made because she wanted to. How else was she going to make money without having to become a prostitute? And she hated herself everyday that she did it. After that she lost her need to go out or party.

            A lot had changed in the last five years. Sometimes she felt like maybe she gave herself to Nicolas in exchange for saving her family. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him; sometimes she just had random stupid thoughts. Everything in her life was completely different and she wondered what it would be like if Daisy was still alive. But had Daisy never died then she would never have changed her life. So it was sometimes like she traded her sister’s life for things to go right in her life and for their family. This was why she needed to stop spending so much time thinking. And she had always feared that it would take something as drastic as Daisy dying to save Sugar from herself. She just never pictured this would be it. There was no way she could go away to Brazil for a month; she was needed here way more than she needed to have a honeymoon. The kids were her priority; it seemed liked kids were always her top priority even though she didn’t have kids of her own.

 

 

            Through the magic of being who he was, Nicolas managed to keep his niece from being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Right now that would be a very bad idea. He could not however keep the story quiet. After the mess with Katrina’s husband of course people wanted to know about her daughter’s suicide attempt and their custody battle. If he could he would have just killed his sister and put everybody out of their misery. And if Jose accidentally shot her with that gun that couldn’t be traced back to them, then it wouldn’t be his fault. The public was trashing Katrina, as they should, how could she let all these things happen? Again they brought up what happened to Sugar all those years ago and Markus. That was part of the reason Sugar almost died.

            Once she was well enough to leave the hospital he decided to take Sugar to the hotel instead of the house. How was she supposed to recover with so many people around and all of them in her face? Wildflower and Sammie were going to stay there with her for awhile, it was for the best. He was dividing his type between the house and the hotel to keep an eye on everybody. At the moment Katrina was trying to hide from him, but there was nowhere she could hide that he wouldn’t find her. The trouble was that he hadn’t decided what to do with her yet.

            A week passed and then two and Sugar still hadn’t really recovered. Mostly she just laid in bed, this scene was all too familiar. It was hard to watch her like this; she was once so full of life. Her new therapist had to come to the hotel to see her because she refused to leave the room. Katrina left the country but that didn’t mean anything he was still going to make her pay, maybe that would help Sugar. But his parents were stalling him, for some reason they thought it would be wrong for him to kill his sister. They told him not to do it and since he couldn’t exactly leave the country at the moment, he wasn’t going to do anything. But he had no control over an accident that may involve Katrina and he really didn’t have control over what Jose did. 

            It was in the middle of the second week that he got a call from his brother. He was sitting on the couch with Wildflower and the girls watching a movie, they were in a sort of pile of bodies. So he untangled himself from them and went to the balcony to take the call. Wildflower would probably object to him acting out in violence against his sister, even though she had said she wanted ‘stab Katrina through the heart’. Which he would pay money to see, but sadly his queen wasn’t really that violent. Nicolas was going to listen to his parents and he wasn’t going to act directly against his sister, but if somehow something happened to her that wasn’t his problem.

            “Mexico City,” Jose said before he could say anything.

            “Is she stupid? We don’t even have to do anything, luck could be on our side and something could just happen,” he said amused. Why Katrina would go anywhere in Mexico when she stuck her nose up at Mexicans and claimed only to be Spanish from their mother’s side, was a good question. But it was obviously because nobody would suspect her snobby self to go there.

            “I know somebody that owes me a favor and I’m not saying she has to die but she at least deserves to get beat up a little,” Jose said.

            “Do it, the parents only told me not to do anything, you they ignored,” he said.

            “And that is why it pays to be the underachieving one,” Jose laughed. “Is D still home with the kids?”

            “Yeah, it amuses me to see him home being semi domestic but Carmen isn’t going to let him out of his responsibilities,” he said. Delanoz was currently staying at the mansion more or less spending time with his kids. Carmen decided to put her foot down and force him into being a father, it was about 21 years too late but it was interesting to see.

            “You better have my money for my new car when I get back,” Jose said.

            “Yeah I’ll give you all $300,000, if you don’t get caught.”

            “See this is why I don’t make deals with you. There’s no way to link me to anything and you are at home with your girls with your hand nice and clean.”

            “Not clean enough though,” he sighed. He felt responsible for what happened to Sugar. Wasn’t he supposed to be taking care of her now? After Katrina hired a lawyer he should have been more vigilant.

            “How could you have known she was going to kidnap her? That’s crazy even by our family’s standards,” Jose told him. “Just keep watch over her now.”

            “That’s what we are doing, not that it’s making a difference. I’m working on something though,” he said.

            “Ok well I’m going to make a few calls, you will know when it’s done,” Jose said.

            “Alright,” he replied and hung up.

            “Who was on the phone?” Wildflower asked, she was standing in the doorway looking at him suspiciously.

            “Jose, I made a bet and I loss so I have to buy him a new car. The one he wants is going to cost me a lot, he wants his money,” Nicolas told her. That wasn’t a lie at all, and he they had in fact talked about it. Telling her anything else made her an accessory to whatever crime they committed, or at least that was how he justified keeping secrets from her.

            “I just wondered since you’ve been taking a lot of calls in secret lately,” she said watching him.

            “Stop being paranoid, I just didn’t want disturb anybody. You want to call Jose back to verify?”

            “No, I don’t know I am paranoid a lot lately,” she admitted.

            “Don’t worry I won’t let anything else happen,” he assure her.

            “I’m sorry we can’t sleep together anymore,” she told him. Their current arrangements had the girls sleeping in the bed with her and he was on the couch.

            “It’s ok,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and for a moment they just stared out at the rest of the world where things weren’t so complicated. There was no way he was going to complain about the lack of sex and sleeping arrangements when his niece had almost died.

            “Have you found Katrina?” She asked after awhile.

            “Not yet,” he lied. “It would be better luck if she just disappeared and never came back. I never expected her to be good at hiding but then again I never expected any of this to happen.” That was at least true, but Katrina was not good enough at hiding.

            “Carmen is coming over with dresses tomorrow,” she said. “They arrived today with her assistant, she said she would not accept them being shipped. I’m short a bridesmaid now.”

            “Why don’t you ask Tara?” He suggested, it fit since she was Richard’s wife.

            “Maybe,” she replied. “I hate that Cody isn’t my friend anymore but I have more important things to worry about than her childishness.”

            “You’ve always been the more responsible one, always taking care of everybody. Just forget her, you don’t need her in your life,” he said. On the inside he was silently cheering, he didn’t want Cody in her life. For once he got what he wanted without having to do anything about it.

 

 

            Sugar was sitting out on the balcony late at night while everybody was sleeping. She was tired of feeling the way she did and part of her wished she had died. Maybe she did need to be locked up somewhere, and then everybody could get on with their lives. Sammie was being distant towards Evan because of her, and everybody’s life was different because of her. They were supposed to be in Paris this week; instead the trip was cancelled because of her. And she couldn’t even go home because everybody was worried what would happen if she did. So she was living in the hotel with the three people that she loved most in the world. They were doing their best to help her, but she wasn’t even sure she could be helped anymore.

            She looked down at her bandaged and stitched arms, everybody knew what she did. There would be no hiding it; the world knew she tried to kill herself. At the time it seemed like a better alternative to staying with her mother. But she never once considered what would happen if she didn’t die. Ivan visited her once, he looked like he felt guilty but she hadn’t really talked to him. She kept thinking about that night he stayed with her and how she wished that could happen again. It wasn’t likely with everybody watching her. Basically she wasn’t allowed to be alone, that bothered her more than she thought it would. And she wasn’t sure how to feel about her mother anymore. Part of her blamed Katrina because it was Katrina that drove her to it. But then again maybe she had been slowly coming up on that point for the last six and a half years. Why had her mother that never cared about her before actually done something to help her? Though maybe it wasn’t really helpful, death would have been easier.

            Sammie felt guilty for one reason or another but Sugar should have been the one with the guilt. Wasn’t she the one that selfishly tried to take her own life? Obviously there was some reason for her to still be alive, but she had no idea what that was. She did know that she was ruining Wildflower and Uncle Nick’s relationship. They were never alone anymore and Wildflower never left her. And they never had sex or anything because she was sleeping in their bed. Her uncle didn’t complain and he was trying his best to protect her, but maybe it was time to go home. She couldn’t avoid the world forever, but if one of her cousins said anything to her she was probably going to flip out.

            When had she become such a ticking time bomb? That must have been a side effect of attempted suicide. The psycho-therapist chick had suggested more than once that she be admitted to a hospital. But if she was then she really would kill herself and she told them that. Maybe that made her seem crazier but staying here was better than going to a hospital. If she ever did that again they would probably never let her out again and she hated the feeling of being caged. Being a prisoner in a mansion that had a lot of open outside space wasn’t that big of a punishment but hospitals were. Thinking about that made her decide that another week in the hotel wouldn’t hurt her much. Soon her cousins would be leaving the mansion and going back to wherever they all lived. Then she would get to live there with the parents she wished were really hers and the sister that she wished was really hers. She wasn’t even sure if Evan was staying anymore, he came by twice but Sammie wouldn’t talk to him so that kind of made him want to stay away and Sugar understood that. But she didn’t get why Sammie didn’t want to see him, she still didn’t know they had sex. And that made her feel guilty.

            “Why are you out here?” Someone asked from behind her, it was Wildflower.

            “Thinking, don’t worry I have no desire to jump,” she replied.

            “Oh I didn’t think you would,” Wildflower said and she sat down in a chair.

            “I’m sorry that I’m like taking over your life, you don’t have to sit and watch me all day,” she told her.

            “What life do I have now? I wanted to spend the summer focusing on family and that is what I’m doing and maybe I need to watch you more for myself. Sometimes it’s scary how alike we are.”

            “We aren’t alike, you are loveable and I am a train wreck that nobody really wants around,” Sugar said. Why did she feel like crying? That was happening too much lately.

            “I want you around and so does Nick and Sammie, that’s all that matters. You are very loveable Sugar and even though you have issues with your cousins they are worried about you too,” she paused staring up at the stars. “I wanted to die when Daisy did and I felt like what happened to her was my fault. That night I was supposed to meet her at a party but Evan had been sick and I ended throwing up so I stayed in. Then I never saw her again. I never even told Nick but the crash was so bad that she was completely unrecognizable when mom went to identify her body. It was a closed casket funeral of course, so the last time I saw her had been before her stupid boyfriend picked her up.”

            “Why are you telling me this?” Sugar asked watching her trying not to cry.

            “Because I wanted to kill myself so I could be with Daisy, I thought about it a lot. Instead I became a stripper to help pay bills and for her funeral,” Wildflower said. That was definitely not what she expected.

            “So that’s your secret? Ivan wouldn’t tell me what it was,” she said.

            “What it is between you and my brother?”

            “Absolutely nothing, he knows that I have feelings for him and Sammie thinks maybe I just like him because he’s nice to me. But I’m fairly certain that I’m in love with him,” she confessed. “I know he doesn’t love me and he never said he did.”

            “Then why were you meeting him?”

            “Oh just to talk, I feel like maybe he could love me once you know I’m legal,” she said. That was what she really hoped for, or she had before.

            “Well the correct adult response would be to tell you that it’s a bad idea and you should stay away from him but since I suck a being an adult, I wish you luck,” Wildflower said. And that was the biggest surprise of her life.

            “What? You don’t care if I am in love with you twin brother?”

            “Um it’s not that, I’m just not going to tell you that you can’t love him. If you want to pursue him all you want to when you’re 18 then what could I do to stop you anyway? Just be careful and guard your heart.”

            “Tell me about your past boyfriends,” Sugar said. She got up and went to sit on Wildflower’s lap, they were almost the same height but she held her anyway.

            “Boyfriend was not a term I ever used, there was this guy Owen, he had a huge crush on me so I went to prom with him. He was kind of a bookworm and he tutored Tony in math for me, and he asked so I said yes. And um that night I so took his virginity,” Wildflower told her.

            “Seriously? Oh I love this,” Sugar said and they both laughed.

            “After that I might have you know had a sexual relationship with him but I just liked the attention. You see we are so alike, I loved attention and well I still do.”

            “Yes and Uncle Nick gives you a lot of attention and yeah your car smells like sex so you know,” she informed.

            “Yeah I know, I love him so much, he is my first real boyfriend or he was. Think I’m rushing things by getting married so soon?”

            “What would be different by next year?”

            “That’s what I said, but I promise if I divorce him I am keeping you and Sammie and the house, sound good?”

            “Yes, but I like you better together. I love you Mommy,” she said laying her head and her shoulder.

            “I love you too,” Wildflower said and hugged her tight. Maybe this was the reason she was still here, and she wasn’t going to waste her second chance at life.

           

 

            Wildflower stood in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom. She was still at the hotel but at the moment she was in her wedding dress. It must have been at least 10 minutes since she put the dress on, but she couldn’t move. This made it real, she was getting married in three months. The dress was beautiful and she loved it. But she started wondering was she really ready for this? She was 23 and never had a real relationship before this and everything happened so fast. Here she was only five months into her relationship with Nicolas and she was being fitted for her wedding dress.

            “Oh my God,” Christina said from behind her. She came in and closed the door behind her; she had on her bridesmaids dress. “You look amazing.”

            “Thanks,” Wildflower replied.

            “What’s wrong? Don’t you like your dress?”

            “Chris, I’m going to marry a man I’ve been with for five months. I don’t think I have really thought this through.”

            “Really? I am so surprised you are having second thoughts because you seemed so sure before and you were talking about babies,” Christina said staring at her in shock.

            “I know, I don’t know I’m just standing here in a wedding dress and I think its just really sinking in now. Nick is the only man I’ve ever been in love with, maybe I am doing this way too soon.”

            “Ok first I’m going to need you to start breathing before you pass out,” Christina took her hands and pulled her over to sit down. “It is ok to only love one man; I’ve only loved your brother. And we were together for like six months and three of those months were on and off and then I was pregnant. Then for like three months he hated me for stealing his life and he told me he loved me for the first time when we first saw Ariela on the ultrasound. My relationship was unconventional and yours definitely is too. But if you love him then time doesn’t matter.”

            “Why did you stay with Isaiah if he was so awful to you?”

            “What were my other options? I wasn’t going to give up my baby and my parents weren’t going to accept me having a baby so I told Isaiah. Or more like I called him crying and he came to get me and my parents told me not to come back.”

            “Too much is going on you know? Mom is in the hospital and this thing with Sugar, I don’t know I’m just not sure it’s the right time.”

            “There isn’t really a right time for anything, stop worrying about everybody else and do something for yourself.”

            When she really thought about it, there was no reason to wait. Maybe she was just nervous. After she finally caught her breath, she got up and followed Christina out into the other room. Carmen, Brooke, Sammie, Sugar, Lexy and Portia (Carmen’s assistant) all stopped what they were doing and stared at her. They complimented her and pulled her over to the three-way mirror they had brought in. Wildflower stood there in front of the mirror and smiled, she was getting married in three months.

 

 

            Sugar knew this was a bad idea and it was asking for trouble but she had to do it. She managed to convince everybody that she would be ok on her own for a couple hours. Wildflower had to do something and she was reluctant to leave but she did. Uncle Nick was at work and she talked Sammie into having lunch with Evan. When someone knocked on the door she felt a little nervous and at the same time very excited. When she opened the door she was only in panties with a matching tank top, he froze when he saw her. She pulled Ivan into the room and closed the door locked it and put the chain on it.

            “I should stop falling for it when you tell me you want to talk,” Ivan said shaking his head.

            “We are going to talk,” she told him while pulling him into the bedroom. “Do you think I look good?”

            “You look hot, but we really shouldn’t be doing this anymore,” he said seriously.

            “Why because of what I did? That had nothing to do with you,” she said. Though he said he wanted their thing to end, he was sitting on the bed with her straddling him. And one of his hands was gently massaging her thigh.

            “Sugar, why did you try to kill yourself?”

            “Because at the time it was my best option, I would rather die than stay with Katrina so I chose death,” she said. It surprised her when he pulled her closer to him and kissed her.

            “Don’t you ever dare do anything like that again,” he told her. He held her face in one of his hands and forced her to look him in the eyes. “Promise me you won’t do it again, ever.”

            “I promise,” she said and he kissed her again.

            “Maybe we should take a break from this until you are feeling better,” he said. The lust in his eyes said something different.

            “You are here so I feel a whole lot better,” she told him. She starting to undo his pants to prove her point, he was already hard for her.

            “We still can’t have sex you know,” he said. Obviously that was more for him than her but she nodded anyway.

            “Have you been thinking about me?” She asked watching his eyes, his eyes weren’t as expressive as his sister’s but she could usually read him.

            “I was worried about you,” he told her. He flipped her over and pinned her down on the bed. “But before when we were supposed to meet I was thinking of some things.”

            “I thought that was supposed to just be coffee?”

            “Yeah it was but you never know what could’ve happened.”

            “Are you saying that you were going to get me in the backseat of your car and have your way with me?” She asked while he was kissing down her body.

            “Maybe,” he said looking up at her. “When are you going back home?”

            “I don’t know, maybe next week I’m not ready to deal with everybody yet.”

            “Seeing you here is asking for trouble.”

            “But at least we are alone; we can’t ever be alone at home.”

            “Yet we managed to spend the night together,” he said before he kissed her belly button. “I wouldn’t mind keeping you warm at night.”

            “Then I guess it’s a good that you are babysitting us when they go to Brazil,” she said. He nodded as he went lower; this was a good incentive to go home.

 

            “Can you just tell me what I did wrong?” Evan asked, he was sick of not knowing why Sammie wouldn’t talk to him. He feared that maybe she found out about him and Sugar, which would explain everything.

            “You didn’t do anything, I’m just not ready to start anything with you,” she said. It was Sugar’s idea for them to have lunch at the hotel’s restaurant and obviously Sammie didn’t want to be here.

            “We never even talked about any of that,” he said.

            “Sugar needs me right now; I don’t have time for whatever right now.”

            “This is about Sugar?”

            “I was with you when she needed me the most, I use to go to her appointments with her and that day I stayed with you,” she admitted.

            “What could you have done to stop it? Your aunt was going to take her no matter what, I’m sorry you feel like I forced you to stay with me,” he said. Though he shouldn’t have been annoyed because she did feel bad, but he was anyway.
            “What exactly were we doing anyway?”

            “I don’t know, but I wanted it to be something. I told you how I feel, I just don’t know what’s next,” he said honestly. “Well I guess nothing is next because you don’t want that.”

            “Evan, my experience with boys is pretty much just you so I don’t know what to do. All I do know is that I wanted to be a girl you would like as more than a friend,” she said. This was definitely not going to be easy.

            “And you think I’ve had a bunch of girlfriends? I can admit that I never had anything other than just uh hooking up,” he said. Now was definitely not the time to tell her that he had sex with Sugar.

            “You are the only guy I’ve ever liked and ever kissed, why would want to be with me? Wouldn’t you like someone more experienced?”

            “No, I want you and I told you I love you. So what you don’t have experience, why does that matter? I wasn’t thinking to just try to get you in bed,” he said. Why was this so hard? It wasn’t this hard when he was with Sugar, then again that didn’t involve emotions, they just liked to have sex.

            “How do people do this? I like to kiss you and spend time with you and I do love you too, but what do we do about that?” Sammie asked, she was cute when she was confused about these things.

            “I want to take you out but even though Ivan offered to drive us around I would prefer not to do that,” he told her.

            “Yeah I guess being chaperoned would suck,” she laughed. “Let’s just go to the movies or something and not make it a big deal. I’m never going to be a girlie girl like Sugar and Lexy and all my sisters and I don’t want this to be weird. We’ve been friends forever so I don’t think it should be that big of a change.”

            “I love the way you think,” he said. He leaned over the table and kissed her.

            “Now we just you know have to talk to your sister about this,” she said.

            “Not something I’m looking forward to,” he replied.

            The thing with Sugar as bad as that was actually bought him some time with Wildflower. How was he supposed to explain to her that he was in love with Sammie even though he had been having sex with Sugar? It made absolutely no sense but at the time he didn’t want or need a girlfriend, he just wanted to have sex. Was that so wrong? Wrong would have been pressuring Sammie into having sex with him, that was why he didn’t say anything to her. When she found out, and he knew she would because secrets could only stay secret for so long, he knew she would hate him. Sometimes he hated himself and he would have liked to say that he was thinking of Sammie when he was with Sugar but that would be a lie. Right now wasn’t a good time for him to say anything though, it was over and it was never going to happen again. Sugar was probably having sex with his stupid brother and he had Sammie now. Even if maybe he wasn’t going to have her for long, a little while was good enough for him.

 

            “We need to stop,” Ivan said sitting up. That was the first smart thing he said in a very long time.

            “Alright,” she said to his surprise. She got up from the bed and started getting dressed, this time she put sweat pants on over her panties. “I think you might need a cold shower before you go.”

            “That might be a good idea,” he replied. He started to get dressed, he had an erection but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

            “Or you could just have sex with me,” she said coming over. She buttoned his jeans and gently zipped them up, that definitely didn’t help. “I know you want to and I want to so it’s ok.” She handed him his shirt while watching him, it was harder when she did that.

            “You know why I can’t do that,” he said. The reasons were getting harder to remember just like he couldn’t remember where he left his common sense.

            “Can’t we make a tiny exception? Just once?”

            “I am tempted right now but I should leave before my sister comes back or your uncle shoots me,” he said. Why did she have too look like that and why did he have to be so turned on by her?

            “Whatever,” she said sitting back down on the bed. There were bandages over her arms where she cut herself, thinking about that took the temptation away.

            “Are you going to be ok?” He asked, he sat beside her and took her hand.

            “Yes, I swear,” she said looking up into his eyes. “I got a second chance at life and I’m not going to waste it.”

            “Good,” he said. He wasn’t sure why he did it but he kissed her arm where the bandage was. “I do care about you, don’t forget that, ok?”

            “Ok,” she nodded.

            “Call me if you need me,” he told her and she nodded.

            “Next time you get naked with me I might not let you go,” she said. Then she kissed him and somehow she ended up in his lap and the made out.

            Being with this girl was a very bad idea but he couldn’t stop himself, he wanted her. If anybody found out he was going to be in a lot of trouble and he did believe her when she said Nicolas would kill him. He just seemed like the type of person that could kill somebody and not care at all. Sugar was emotionally fragile and he knew that, the evidence was on both her arms. The last couple of weeks he tried to talk himself out of this thing with her and here he was with her again. There was just something about this girl that had him willing to risk everything.

 

Reviews

[Katie]

So powerful and deep

[deeps]

So touching and longing in this chapter,
Feelings well expressed between the characters.
Very well written chapter here. Awesome detail and imagery.