King of Flawed Reason

Festering molestation of achin'...

I'm separated by my own demons, my own feelings leapt alive with meanin'...

I'm crowning myself king of flawed reason...

For the reason I stand alone most the time...

Is I'm not feeling very grown at the time...

Like a seed with no warmth, a man outta lines, my rhymes are not good enough...

I stow it under and keep grumblin', actin' tough, mining away and wondering if it will ever be true...

Will I follow a shining path or break hollow and used...

Blasted by traces of iced gas, leaving me numb and bruised...

A rats uncle I'm stuffy and masked, you are sultry and out of grasp...

So I gasp and raise myself above the bar, I raise my own bar...

The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...

Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...

Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...

Just scars...

Author's Note

Sometimes depression is crippling... Hope everyone reading this remembers they are not alone in the fight... Keep living day-to-day, and know you are valued... Have a good one

Reviews

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

This is so abstract, and so beautiful, just as always. I specially love the lines,

"The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...
Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...
Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...
Just scars..."

Just so beautiful.

Love,
Vasilees

[Chase Dylan]

As always, a beautiful review, Vasilees, thank you, and am glad you enjoyed

[Anthony (aka Mr.e)]

I feel you on this one silente, stay strong...And your rhymes are as solid as always, keep writing.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you so much, Mr. e.... Your words of encouragement and understanding are appreciated

[Mr.Writer]

An engrossing, beautiful and emotional poem Silente....
There was beauty in your words and I really could visualize these emotions portrayed in this!
Well done Silente, I really hope you have a good day and stay happy :)

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Mr. Fantastic, and I hope the same for you... Glad you could actually see the pain within the words

[Mr.Writer]

No problem Silente! :)

[Tony Jordan]

Better to reign in the hell of flawed reason than to serve in the kingdom of shallowness and pettiness.
You spoke true here my friend. Kudos !!

[Chase Dylan]

^^Could not agree more, TJ, and wow... I liked that, hah... You speak better truth, it looks fancier... Hah

[wordman]

flawed and scared,aren`t we all

[Tony Jordan]

so true my friend. Well said...

[Chase Dylan]

That we are, TJ and Wordman, one can only hope the flaws and fear do not drown them...

[Poetic Beauty]

Love the notes in this section. Many lives are lost each year from depression. It doesn't discriminate in age race religion color or social standing.

Your emotions come through clearly. The self doubt and at times loathing is clear.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you very much, Beauty, it means a lot to hear, and it really does steal lives...

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

So true my friend, sadness can mire the soul in "tar that stops and harms"..I am often "stuck" in the mire myself..still, though you are "achin'" your words, form, rhythm and flow excel and inspire...and you remain so far "above the bar"...you are still on your shining path. Speak friend, and I listen- always!!

[Chase Dylan]

You humble me, Annette, and I hope that I can continue to help others feel more secure in the awful angst of sadness... A shining path, indeed is tried

[Tabby Mac]

You KILLED THIS Silente!! It is AWESOME SAUCE!! The darkness can be a heavy, painful place! I thought you said you couldn't express yourself like me?! Well... This piece says otherwise!!
The only way we can write like this is to have known it up and personal...now you know my secrets. A hug to you for every down moment you have or ever will.
To rest in ourselves as we are is a fight worth fighting everyday. WELL DONE!! You are perfect to me!
Tabby

[Chase Dylan]

Awesome sauce...! You taking my words right from meh mouth, hah... You are right... I guess I am learning to change for the better....
*Hugs back*
You are a sweetheart, Tabby, and I hope you know your perfection everyday is as radiant as... Something really reallllly radiant, haha

[Ruth]

This really has such impact, I am no stranger to depression and felt every line here. Sometimes all one can do is indeed gasp and try to grasp. The downfalls and landmines here are portrayed with striking metaphor yet a warrior energy pulses through...have a good day too hon and thanks for reminding the reader that they are not alone :)

[Chase Dylan]

A warrior energy pulses through... Gosh, Silver... Your words are incredible inspiring, and thank you... You have a splendid time as well, and no problem, no one is TRULY alone...

[Sandipta$]

Couldn't understand...then i reread..... Uff ur words in ur sentences... Lyk rats uncle 😳 deep thought... Huh

[Chase Dylan]

I do enjoy being a rats uncle, haha, thank you very much, Sand

[Sandipta$]

U wlcm Mr. SIL

[Ethan]

Hmm, I'd suggest dropping the triple-dots, at least in this piece. If you're going to us them after every line, then they cancel each other out, like if someone used an exclamation point at the end of every sentence and it didn't vary. But when someone ends sentences with periods and then places an exclamation point at the most intense moment in the piece, it really pops. Sort of like in music, where composers start a piece at pianissimo and then finish at fortissimo. The contrast is evident and powerful. Other than that, good work as always.

[Chase Dylan]

Aye, I have had a few people suggest the editing off the ellipses, and I was quite aware it was marring the flow of this piece... I tend to be a bit stubborn with things, and even though I knew the dots hurt the overall... I still felt like doing it... I might edit it later, and will prob' not keep doing it with such regularity... But in this instance... I liked the aesthetic of it... Like always, Ethan, you have a superb eye, and I continue to pick up tips from you.... Thanks so much, budz

[Ethan]

No problem :)