The Captain

The Captain

A Poem by Einstein Noodle
"

Hymn form with story telling ;)

"
from military wikia.org.
The Captain


The night before, he down'd a mash
from sweat filled leather coils. 
'Twas blended by a brewer's mule 
with bit 'n harness boil'd.


The brine it damp'd his coal black hair;
and plumed the ocean's spray.
The girls in harbor towns for fare
lent beds for him to stay.


the Captain meant to sail that morn;
but, drunk as he could be,
his snores were heard throughout the town
he'd slept in reverie.


Miss Mary came and rousted him
with thick dry gin tinged tongue.
He waked and shook the guilt of sin
from shoulders broadly strung.


His ship was larboard bound and fast;
Her mainsl' tightly wrapped. 
She listed port and once again
she swept him in her grasp. 


He leapt on board; cried " 'Way the ropes!
Step lively ye young fools.
We're off the docks for Neptune's hope
to breach his trident's rule."


From bully pulpit Captain's voice
boomed deep and cleft his scowl.
Commanding all, no room for choice,
his gaze held 'fore the prow.
  

His chiseled chin cut clean the waves
with words of billowed clouds.
His masts stood fast, the sea it laved,
in tune with sirens' shrouds. 


That day he sailed, an albatross
did follow  passed the breaks.
Ne'er once he feared to pay the cost
for Ocean's firm embrace.


The birds left off without a cry;
Cap's eyes held keen ahead.
He failed to heed the ghostly sighs
of sailors lost and dead.


His blue eyed soul was seen no more
When  stern fell oft the world
Bewitched they say by treasures stored
Within his dreams ..... 'tis told.


06/28/2021
E.

© 2021 Einstein Noodle


Author's Note

Einstein Noodle
I hope you like this, my second attempt at the Hymn form which Emily Dickenson used so vividly with glimpses at her rebellion within her verse. Thank you Richard for your tips and editing. You will see that some of your points inspired me further and there are further changes you have not read. I also want to thank jacob for challenging me to write a poem using the term "bully pulpit" .. I had reviewed one of his poems and used the term and his response included the challenge. I also want to thank Pryde for also challenging me to write this second hymn form poem with a handsome man with dark hair as its protagonist. She had mentioned my doing that after reading my first hymn poem "Grace?" ...I have been so uninspired for months and not even caring about it. So friends who challenge us during such times are extra inspirational .. so thank you Pryde, jacob and Richard. Maybe this will get me out of the doldrums. :)))

My Review

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Featured Review

I, too, saw shades of Coleridge and his albatross, but the early part of this was like
reincarnation of Dickinson from a male pen. As the poem drew to a close, I loved the mythological implications....did he really exist, did the ship exist, did they steer themselves into something like the Bermuda Triangle and disappear...?
You do these so well, and your vocabulary is to die for.
I might have given a slight nudge with my phrase but YOU are the talent here.
j.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

damn jacob!! i am humbled .. high praise, (in my opinion) coming from you sir! In the famous words f.. read more



Reviews

This is poetry my friend. You took me in and I fell in the words and the struggle.
"That day he sailed, an albatross
did follow passed the breaks.
Ne'er once he feared to pay the cost
for Ocean's firm embrace."
The above lines were my favorite. You made the reader believe. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

ohhhhh and thank you Coyote Man! Coming from a romantics heart, your review is much appreciated .. t.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Captain must and you are welcome my friend.
Wow.. Gene… quite a Dream… so profound… your poem encompasses so much of a Sailor’s or Captain’s Life. The Storms and search for Treasure often lead us to our demise. He gentle and Wise. tenderly, Pat

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

oh dear Pat! so happy you found this one to read .. and happy you enjoyed my Captain's tale ..top o'.. read more
Patricia Wedel

1 Month Ago

hi Gene… although I had previously read your Sea-faring Poem.. I enjoyed it even more now that we .. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

love your new profile pic Pat! doubly appreciate you reading and commenting twice ;) yes .. the worl.. read more
First, the style of writing here is remarkable...the wonderful way this poem unwraps another world is astonishing E. I have never tried hymn form, I don't think, it captivates a time unknown and something mysteriously magical. I have to say, I too am reminded of Coleridge from your writing skill here - magnificent E, magnificent! :)

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

oh my goodness .. Ruth! i am honestly humbled by your remarks ... you bless my morning already .. (i.. read more
An ambitious undertaking of epic proportions, My Friend🎖

Ahhh, what a swashbuckling tale of a seafaring adventure … I can almost hear Coleridge's and Dickinson's envious sighs.
I know you're a died-in the-wool free-verser, but composing poetry in spot-on 8/6/8/6 iambic tetrameter/trimeter and a-b-a-b rhyme scheme in eleven Quatrain verses is no small accomplishment, and you've pulled it off like the pro we all know you are … KUDOS!

Thank goodness you've enough humility and flexibility to take constructive suggestions and critique from your knowing peer, or we'd not have such virtual masterpieces to enjoy and be amazed by. You may hope that I like this, Gene, but I don't … I LOVE it!

I can smell the sea, feel the deck's roll, and hear the prow's wave-cuts in my mind.
Simply brilliant imagery … thank you, always, for the pleasure of sharing! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

Holy smokes Richard ... I can put my pen away .. i have arrived :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).. read more
Richard 🍃

1 Month Ago

It's my distinct honor, Syr Poet. ✍🏻

Ever, your friend and fan. 🍃
dearest Gene… as an ancient Figure Head… I have experienced the Ambience of treacherous Seas… I am in your debt of a Chest of Treasures lost at Sea… tenderly, Pat

Posted 1 Month Ago


Einstein Noodle

1 Month Ago

thank you Pat... so happy you found this one to read and review! :)))))))
E.
Oh you know I am going to like this. Your best work. I tip my hat in reverence to your talent. 100/100

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

thanks again Tate! will your son let you drive it?? ;)
Tate Morgan

2 Months Ago

Oh yeah we still go on adventures together
Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

:) .........................
An epic of a write Sir Gene. Aye aye Captain! Such fine imagery and such disciplined style of writing of an era long gone. Couldn’t stop thinking of Lord Nelson and the battles, must be that picture.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

thanks for visiting Andrew! always glad to learn what you think about my "stuff" :) the call of the .. read more
andrew mitchell

2 Months Ago

Meanwhile I'm just going to walk the plank in awe of your writings!
Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

:))))))))) you are too kind Andrew ... blessings to ya .. it's another dawn that's breaking.
Why didn't you say Sir Noodle? If its a challenge yer after then conversing with a penguin on what briny delights of the sea go best with a cheese and herb sauce should be right up your alley. Just ignore him if he says fish fingers. 😊
A mighty fine tale of the captain and his ways that does remind me of Ms Dickinson and how I still have the last third of her complete works to savour. It now goes back to the top of the pile once I finish Mr Greene's 21 stories. You can't beat the oldies...you'd get arrested.
Wishing you a happy turkey day my friend.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

and its a fine way to grow ... with humor and knowing how blessed it is not to easily take offense ... read more
Lorry

2 Months Ago

And to you sir. Have a wonderful weekend my friend and keep on smiling when safe to do so. If you ge.. read more
Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

i honestly don't watch news more than a few minutes a day and don't have Fox :( i'm too poor to add .. read more
What a nicely executed poem. I appreciate the story told.
A greatly penned write.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

thanks McQueen! glad you enjoyed the story :)
E.
I, too, saw shades of Coleridge and his albatross, but the early part of this was like
reincarnation of Dickinson from a male pen. As the poem drew to a close, I loved the mythological implications....did he really exist, did the ship exist, did they steer themselves into something like the Bermuda Triangle and disappear...?
You do these so well, and your vocabulary is to die for.
I might have given a slight nudge with my phrase but YOU are the talent here.
j.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Einstein Noodle

2 Months Ago

damn jacob!! i am humbled .. high praise, (in my opinion) coming from you sir! In the famous words f.. read more

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Added on June 28, 2021
Last Updated on June 28, 2021

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Einstein Noodle
Einstein Noodle

Pork Rind, AK



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