Prelude to madness

This is a well... Prelude to the madness that is my mind, i hope you enjoy dear guests

It was black, nothingness. Then he appeared again, the tattered cloak flapping in the non-existent wind. "So you have taken up my calling have you?" His voice was deep, ancient. "But the question is why?, why have you abandon your humanity for the way of my blade?" April tried to answer, but her voice failed her, and she remained silent. "Was it for fun?" He resumed "no, your not the kind your abandon everything for a thrill are you?" a cold laugh floated from the darkness under his hood, followed by a brief moment of silence. "was it love?, no, well maybe a bit, but it wasn't him who created this desire that caused you to fall from heaven's gate was it?" more silence, broken when the black figure snapped his boney fingers. "You were tired of being weak weren't you?, that's it" he chuckled "you were so tired of drowning in your fears, and the incident last night made you realize it." April tried to reply again, in vain. "I see" the figure chuckled "well I suppose I should let you get back to reality, after all, your not a human anymore, and you need to experience you new lif-" he caught himself and chuckled again "I mean your new un-life." he laughed and snapped his fingers once more, then she woke up.

Author's Note

My tails are not for harsh review, only constructive criticism will do.

Reviews

[M.R Steiner]

I feel this could be fleshed out a bit more. I'm guessing this is a prologue, either way I found it interesting enough to keep going and found myself wanting to know more when I had finished.

you seem to have a good sense of flow, but I feel the dialogue could be worked on a little. most notably some of the end tags. 'he chuckled' feels good as you write it, but in a piece this short I would recommend keeping it to said and such.

you still managed to promote a solid start of a scene but as I said, I feel it could be broken up a bit with a little extra as there's so much to describe and show. just a personal opinion though and I'm still learning myself. :)

[Wayward Soul]

Thank you, this is just an exert from one of the chapters I have written, I'm using it as a sort of pilot to grab attention, I shoul have the first ral chapter coming out soon, so be on the lookout for that

[Wayward Soul]

Dear guests, i do hope you enjoy this tale, for without you, its but a shell.