Swirling Leaves

From a prompt

The music screams into her ears

Drowning out any thoughts she might have had

hiding in her head

It was autumn

And it was beautiful

With the leaves swirling around

A multicolored chaos against her green hoodie

But today, the sun was hiding

And the wind was blowing

And it was very cold

But the music sang a different tune

And all she could bother wondering about

Was what it would feel like to have

Leaves in her hair

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

This is lovely. I was struck by this image:

A multicolored chaos against her green hoodie- that was a wonderful image to show your reader the richness of the moment.

I also liked the ending which felt very wistful to me.

[Chloe Grant]

Oh my do I adore this. The last part gave me chills... It reminds me of a teenage girl. It's something people can really relate to. It's awesome.

[Jamie]

Brilliant piece of poetry! It reminds me of lord of the rings with the autumn feel to it and the green colours (maybe that's just me lol) A pleasure to read :)

[Sadiesmiles]

Brilliant work. I love the description you use when saying "A multicolored chaos against her green hoodie." Keep up the good work!

[Laura Lynn]

I think it would be lovely to have leaves in ones hair; it could make a nice statement, or even a jewelery or hair piece which has a leaf motif, those are nice as well, makes one look and feel like a princess and gives others something to enjoy looking at, there is no sense not dressing up once in a while and giving thanks for the way fashion can be to make a person valuable and feel so, to jazz up an otherwise dull scene especially

[Confuser]

Thought the imagery was beautiful. I quite enjoyed it; the picture you painted was very nice. Thank you. D

[Dillon "Gerald" Steele]

This poem was very very descriptive and it was inviting. The change of mood was fantastic and it was a great read, i like the descriptiveness though because it brings the reader in and makes the poem more personal, and the more personal a poem seems to be the more emotions the reader will take from it so very good job!

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hehe I don't think i have read something so bewildering in a long time there's beauty and temptation and amazement hehe. I stare and wonder how a few words not even in full poetry could capture me! This must not be called a poem but rather an new age piece cause holly molly Wow totally adding this to my fav poems

[Casey Nicolee]

I think it is amazing how your words flowed and how it all made sense. It was really beautiful and I was very blessed to have read this. Made my day.

[ksscampos]

You painted a beautiful picture with your words. Nicely done.. keep it up