Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I" unbelievably"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs
never noticed at all
your petals
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Doreen]

Can I relate to this. I love the poetic way you've strung this together. I didn't find anything I didn't like about this.

[Relic]

Glad to hear that Doreen, thanks very much.

[Lily Mae]

This is painful in thought and yet I know it to be true.. I've seen it happen far too often.. So many things come into play in relationships anymore it makes me not believe in it at all.. xo..

[Relic]

Relationships can be tough it's true. I've seen them disintegrate then mend, then the cycle repeats. It takes a lot of work. Thanks for the review Lily.

[Serenity Faith]

Truer words have not been spoken. I think many people can relate to taking things for granted. This particular situation, you put into a sad beauty of words. The imagery was beyond well done. Echoes indeed...

[Relic]

Thanks so much Emily. This poem originally had 107 reviews on my old account!

[Serenity Faith]

I believe it! Don't worry, I'm positive it'll get back up there ^_^

[Relic]

:)

[SheaRyhai]

Once again your refreshing and vast talent with vocabulary and imagery stands out strong in this poem. Really beautiful piece.

[Relic]

Thank you so much for your kind words Shea.

[Speak in Silence]

This is so beautiful

[Relic]

Thank you very much.

[Speak in Silence]

Your welcome :) anytime