A mile to go

With smog

hovering among

crevices

of a sleepy city

the sun rose

from slumber

heedful of rain

on the way.

Soon

as increasing showers

diffused puddles

on shiny streets

birds in flocks

flew

car windshields 

clattered

and a lonely reveler

from the night before,

braving every soggy step,

could only contemplate

the last call,

the last beer,

and the girl who left 

with someone else.

Having no umbrella

and a mile to go

the sky

employing harsh wisdom

reflected his pain.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I think I know that guy. What a sad, sorry pile of human debris we men can become when a gal gives us the boot. (Or cold shoulder) The scene you present is vivid and the words strike home. I'm glad he walks in the rain and doesn't drive a car.

[Relic]

lol Thanks Sam, much appreciated. :)

[Starbaby]

A very thought provoking scene you paint for us. Life often teaches us the folly of our choices with harsh punishment. I liked this very much.

[Relic]

Thanks for the comment. Much appreciated.

[Panhead Rod]

Very nicely written piece... All of us at some time or another suffer that one wet mile to go... Loved it...

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment. Thanks so much. :)

[DIVYA]

A beautiful description of rain reflecting the bleak weather within.

Having no umbrella
and a mile to go

...speaks of the difficult place in life with little comfort or assurance within reach. The pain is made worse by the betrayal. I felt it strongly.
A great poem, dear Relic.

[Relic]

Thank you for your kind words, Divya. :)

[Arundass TP]

This is an interesting poem. Enjoyed reading 🙂

[Relic]

Thanks very much.

[Brad]

This is very very good. There is such an emptiness "the morning after". This captures that feeling remarkably well.

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Brad. Thanks. :)

[FGFRANKLIN]

"The sky is crying" to quote SRV. And that blues tune passed through my mind as I read this. Love the painting you chose to go with the poem as well. Nice work.

[Lisasview]

Love, love, love you excellent image!!!
Wonderful thoughts explode into your poem dear Relic!!
I just loved every word...
Lisa

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Lisa. Thanks. :)

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome

[emmajoygreen]

Firstly that picture.. brilliant, moody and what could add or improve its mood. ?!

Your words! You took that visual and re-created its mood, its clues, its corners and creases.. is as if -you had turned it to squares and hinted at each square. Brilliant phrases, finely selected words, I wonder, do you paint or photograph?

'.. lonely reveler - from the night before, - raving every soggy step, - could only contemplate.. '
'.. the sky - employing harsh wisdom - reflected his pain. '

Not allowing me to post a review - yet again.

[Relic]

I appreciate your comment, Emma. And no, I don't paint or photograph, I only use my imagination. :)
The site has been malfunctioning a lot lately for me too.

[emmajoygreen]

Your imagination holds both pen and brush, my friend.. you see and use a panorama of words - you fortunate gent.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Bravo, my friend. This is freaking fantastic. I loved every word! My only regret is that I'm just now reading it. Sorry about that. You've so much talent. F.