I wish I could help...

I want to kick his a*s

No you can’t

Put his face through glass

I’ll just laugh

 

I wish I could help you

I know

For what he’s put you through

It shows

 

If I were there he would be gone

You wouldn’t suffer anymore

I’d take your somewhere safe and warm

Where he couldn’t come to your door

 

I know you want to help

Your feelings are heartfelt

Right now let me handle this

I want to fix my crisis

 

Maybe someday we will find each other

And have a good time

We have a lot to do together

Things will be divine

Reviews

[Ruth]

Excellent piece :) The flow is intense and draws you right in straight away! xx

[Jenny Nelson]

Different, honest, and to the point. I enjoyed it. Well done!

[rachielle]

This is great. I loved the way you made it into a dialogue. Also, making the words very common really worked because these are really things that people would say. Great job.:D I specially loved the last stanza.

[Katie Louise Hughes]

great job

[JenLyn]

Not one of my favorites, the rhyme seemed a little forced but it was a decent write. Keep it up! :)

[WriterSki7]

Not the same as the previous one using the alternating colors. It is clear this is two different speakers (or somebody loves the sound of their voice*). Good job.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem is great. I love the point of view and originality.
You have a nice teknik of mixing it up. The emotions leap
off the page as if we were watching a play.

[Raven Wilson]

I like the back and forth kind of conversation this held :) Nice work.

[The Analog Kid]

Many of us have been there. Nice volley back and forth! Heartfelt write.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was really adorable. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. :)