Decayed Wings

He asked me if it hurt when I fell from heaven

And it wasn't a charming question

My wings were set ablaze

As I crashed through the Earth's atmosphere

Each feather plucked with painstaking vulgarity

I grasped at moons and galaxies

In a desperate attempt

To slow my blazing descent

And the burns still smoke

My scarred back still smoldering 

There went my ignorant purity

As a gritty harsh reality was thrust upon me

"You should know. 

You pushed me."

Reviews

[trying_to_write]

The last two lines are a real punch in the gut right at the end which makes it so much more powerful.

[Mr. Mills]

Sounds like that fall even from heaven

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness, Lexi! such brilliant and exquisite pain and fall ... sheesh! lots of layers in this one says i .. and universal for sure ... all religions have one explanation or another as to our sinful core ;( few have a realistic solution says i! your closing is killer after such a brutal ride ... man! i hardly dare ask "Is it I?" ... real fine poetry for me!
E.

[Alexander Dillon]

The evocative imagery you used in this was amazing. It carries an incredible emotional punch. Thanks for writing.

[Dave]

You portray such powerful imagery. One can easily see your horrible plight.
A very good write.

Take care - Dave

[Frederika]

Decayed Wings
lovely title/ great write

[Carthage Thorne| The Wi..]

This is a very interesting poem. It paints a very vivid image, and gets the idea across but then those last two lines:

"You should know.
You pushed me."

It's like the mic-drop of the whole concept. This could very well be turned into a story, purely based around this poem alone.

[Askew]

I'm really happy you like this poem, I worked really hard on creating that mic-drop effect that you talked about, and I really appreciate you commenting on how it worked for you.

[Carthage Thorne| The Wildcard]

Honestly Lexi, you have the writing style that I believe would be so very moving in either a "Spoken-word" or "Slam" form... I highly encourage that you find those outlets as well and perform some of your works, they would be masterpieces at an "Open-mic Night."

[Askew]

I've always wanted to do something like that, so you don't know how much it means for you to say that. There is a place that I might be able to do that once my schedule calms down.

[Jasnil Chand]

Wow.. Loved it..
The style is different yet elegant

[Richard🖌]

Ha-hah!
What a corny come-on line to start this one with, Lexi, but it's real life you write about, eh?
Still, it must have worked to cause you so much turmoil and angst.
I read this as a slow, painful loss of innocence … situations that somehow got beyond your control. Despite however hard you tried, you were spiraling from on-high toward Earth.
Very well-written, Lexi … with clear and concise wording, steeped in deep emotion, passionate regret, a sort of needed confession … poignant, almost sorrowful; too sorrowful to behold, but it's raw, in-your-face reality of the kind no one; especially, a lovely young woman, should ever come to endure.

Your skill as a writer, who has the knack of reaching deep into readers and making them feel her, is at its pinnacle here. And, what a stunningly perfect title and picture choice to confront us with … oh-MY!
Though, this one has touched me deeply, I sincerely thank you for sharing You so very openly and honestly, Lexi🍃 ⁓ Richard

[Askew]

I think that coming from you of all people, these compliments mean even more than they would coming from someone else.
I spent a great deal of time on this trying to make it both painful to read but also with a hint of humour. When I write poems like this, it's sometimes hard for me to work through certain things that I don't want to feel.
I'm really happy my writing is having the intended effect.
Thank you so much, Richard.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, as-well, Poetess. : )
As you know, Lexi, reading your work is a true pleasure for me.
You are most welcome! ⁓ RJ

[Zayir]

I love your writing style! As someone who's also young (I'm 19) you have the element of growing up too quick. Maturing because you were forced to, the twist at the end of the piece was unexpected but a nice conclusion. I relate to tonality in your work as well as some of the themes. Forgive me if I don't write a review for each piece you compose, sometimes there's no criticism on my end. Your other writings have made me content, questioning society/world and other emotions that usually aren't brought up in. Thank you for sharing this short but amazing piece!

Much Love

[Askew]

I think that reading your review just now has been the best part of my day so far, thank you! After thanking so many people for reviewing, my gratitude must sound empty at this point, but I mean it when I say that your comments mean so much to me. Hearing that you like the things I pour my entire self into makes me feel incredibly happy.
Thank you!