Scent

Some say

the perfume of your splendid

presence leads straight into the eye of oblivion

 

I say purer glass cannot radiate under the sky

 in such serene ambience

 

we should as two dance

Under God’s infinite smile and

 merciful

 grace

Author's Note

HELENA'S BLUE ROSE CAFÉ

1. Write a poem using all ten words
2. Use exactly FORTY words
3. The poem must use the words in order
(i.e. perfume, first, merciful last)


PERFUME
SPLENDID
PRESENCE
OBLIVION
PURER
GLASS
SKY
SERENE
TWO
MERCIFUL

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

While this is far better than I could ever do within these confines--and the lines are truly lovely--there does seem to be a bit of a disconnect between the second and third stanza. Perhaps, I'm just not interpreting properly.
In any event--as I've said, Moon--exquisitely lovely lines.

[Eloha]

This nearly sounds Sufi to me, will you initiatie me into sufi mysticism on the glaring days in an old beaten down South African cafe?

*hugs* Moon

[MOON]

What I know about Sufism is scary , but I have a cousin well versed on the subject. Thats a high compliment though. Thanks take care.

[Eloha]

Is this a pitter patter way of telling me your cousin is a witch? Therefore spooking you off mysticism?

[MOON]

Ha a wizard my friend and know I love mysticism , I just dont get too hang up about it all.

[Southern Cross]

Nothing is better than the scent of love..you have crafted beauty within the confines of others words yet transcended the mere combining of such words into an emotional impact

[...]

I say you tackled it beautifully, moon :)

[Pax]

you did well, manage to put the words beautifully.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

very peaceful adn graceful words!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Some say

the perfume

of your splendid presence

leads straight into the eye of oblivion

I say purer glass cannot radiate under the sky

in such serene ambiance

We should as two .. dance

Under God’s infinite smile

and merciful grace

Wow .. You are a talent indeed .. I never could write with given words .. I've tried, but always failed .. Not sure I understand this as you intend, but stlll it is beautiful .. and I like it .. Jasmine

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Nicely done! Your words take me to a divine place of serenity...and the scent is gorgeous!

[Revery]

Whoa, this is perfection. This is tight and lovely and has so much smooth sublime bliss to it. 100/100

[Priscilla Sayers]

Beautiful.
I love how the scent permeates through the screen sending me the flavors of sweet roses and lilac beneath a starry night. The ambiance you create paints the image of silvery water as it is highlighted by the glorious Moon as the Sun drifts of to light up the other side of our world... Wonderful write!

[An owl on the moon]

There is a beautiful tenderness in your words... and I've heard it said that scent holds the strongest emotional connection to our memory... your words certainly form a memorable moment in sighs and smiles.