Unknown Killer

She cant move because if she does she too will be dead.

I crouch in the corner
Afraid to make a sound
For my unknown killer might hear me
And take my precious life away from me

I dont know who
Or even what he is
Just another unknown killer
That took me from this life I lived

I hide away
In a room he keeps me in
Its dark
And smells of rotten wood

I am a lifeless soul
And another hopeless victim
Whose life is slowly
Fading away

Around me I see skeletons
Of unknown victims
That were hopeless souls like myself
Now dead....

I move an inch
And take one breath
And then I hear it
Footsteps from my unknown killer

The door opens
Here my unknown killer stands
He aims his gun at me
And bang! I'm dead...

Author's Note

I dont know. I was just bored and everyone wanted something new so I guess this will have to do. Hope you like it! It mite need some work so tell me what you think

Reviews

[Brandon]

I agree that the color aspect of it was pretty cool. It was a good piece. Great read.

[Tate Morgan]

Shocking what you think of

[Daniel Gardner]

Wow, interesting writing. I especially liked your use of color. The words being dark and the 'unknown killer' in red emphasized the character's situation. Nice work.

[Jess.]

Wow! Pretty damn amazing piece! The flow was great, it could almost be a song.
I loved it.

[Aggie Skeleton]

That was so firickin emo. I loved it!!! My random pal liked it too.

[Star Wolf]

Intense and a bit shocking!

[Luna Northstar]

Different, but bold and unqiue, its entertaining, yet thrilling, nice flow; great job.

[LynLee]

well this is.........entertaining??? nah, i liked it..... a lot.......it would go with my story "went for a walk" I really liked it

[Haifa]

Wow, wow and wow. I really like it much, I like how describe the moments so well and how you were trying to breath in the poem from fear Just so so so very well done.

[Elissa; the genuine art..]

This is quite thrilling.
"Just another unknown killer
That took me from this life I lived"
I really love the edge to this.
Keep up the great work!

-Elissa :D