Fate of the Outcast

Dark. Very dark.

Walking alone among the living

Who I am I cannot say

What is the worth of my forgiving

If my inside's price to pay?

Does my search bear any fruit

Or it fills the empty space?

I no longer fit this suit

Throwing it away now I must face.

I deserve no better fortune

Than to leave the world like this

So let me turn back to the ocean

And enjoy eternal bliss!

Who am I to judge these souls

When my sin keeps burning slow?

All those bursts of lost controls

Power up its spectral glow.

Home is nowhere to be found

Since disdain there spread its roots

Hollow shrieks of my heart's sound

Leave me nothing but disputes.

I deserve no better fortune

Than to leave the world like this

So let me turn back to the ocean

And enjoy eternal bliss!

Why do lies tend to the truth...?

Why does greed fuel up the lust...?

How can morale find the youth

If our own is turned to dust...?

Author's Note

This poem is inspired by Hollywood Undead's song S.C.A.V.A.. While the person in this poem somewhat resembles me, he/she ISN'T me. So no, I do not plan to kill myself or something retarded like that.
Anyways, enjoy it (?) and tell me all the thoughts that come into your mind!

Reviews

[PaperLife]

I love this. The inner turmoil so spread in how the days move into the turmoil that spreads as a disease. You exemplify the emotions so truly. But beautifully. Capturing the dark poetry in the moment. The pain and the sadness play together. Sliding softly into that ever so solemn bliss. Deep... horrifying. True. As the last plague falls into the hands of life. Cradled ever so softly but not held tightly enough. As your words play the last fault and the depth covers the insincerity in the voices around the poem. Like a hate stamp pressed into the palms of everything known. True and realistic. Your words pull everything that is defining in giving away life that you know it's true. Beautiful play on words. The darkness and depth is perfect. Well done. AMAZING.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

THANK YOU! :D
One of the best reviews I got, it is appreciated beyond mortal words! :D

[Morrigan Nicole]

My favorite part is the way that it flows so easily. Second to that, it is dark. I like me some dark writing once in a while. Great work.

[Lina Grey]

Dark. Very dark. As you said. I like dark, and I like S.C.A.V.A, actualy, no scratch that. I love S.C.A.V.A and all Hollywood Undead songs. I really like this piece, and I'm glad it's not really about you! Suicide is never a good idea.
"Home is nowhere to be found
Since disdain there spread its roots
Hollow shrieks of my heart's sound
Leave me nothing but disputes."
I absolutely love that part. the personification really adds to the whole piece. Thank you.

[Brianna Van Zandt]

The imagery and just the way it flows are amazing. I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading this, as it was a wonderful piece. My one critique is that when I read:
"Does my search bear any fruit
Or it fills the empty space?"
It just didn't seem to flow the way the rest of the poem does. I don't know exactly how to change it, but I just wanted to pu out there that that was the only critique I could find. Very well done.

[......]

this is very well done poem.
It has a very dark tone to it and i love it.
Very well done