You said I was your angel

A lot of empty promises and heartbreak made this beautiful piece

You said I was your angel 

A treasure in the dark. 

I thought I was your everything 

And that I'd made my mark. 

You took my heart and crushed it, 

This torture can't be true. 

Still, when i think of happiness- 

I only think of you. 

A tiny part of what we had. 

In everything i see. 

It hurts to see you with her. 

With anyone but me. 

I thought i was your angel, 

A treasure in the dark. 

I'd kill to be your everything. 

Can't stand to be apart. 

I'm sure that it was love, 

I couldn't stop but fall. 

Pretty lies and empty words, 

Now I'm nothing at all. 

Author's Note

Hope you can relate. Share your opinions...would really like to hear what you think. I THINK I SHOULD DO MORE POETRY...WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Happy reading
Aphy

Reviews

[viola]

I like the your rhyme and syllable scheme. I particularly like the long last stanza that sort of ties everything together.
Two suggestions First, the beginning of your 3rd stanza:
"A tiny part of what we had.
In everything i see."--This isn't a complete sentence. The only reason it matters, is the entire rest of your poem does break down into sentences, so this one feels odd. Even if you just changed it to
"A tiny part of what we had's
In everything i see."--I think it would flow better. Obviously though it is up to you!
Second, I don't understand this line, "I couldn't stop but fall." Do you mean you couldn't stop falling? You couldn't help but fall? Please enlighten me!
Overall, nice poem. Definitely, keep writing!

[Aphy!]

Thank you for the advice and those helpful words. And I meant...falling inlove. I couldn't help but falling in love. It would've been strange if I added the "love part". Thank you again and I'm glad u liked it

[viola]

Oh, I didn't understand the stop part "I couldn't stop but fall" I would have got it if it was "I couldn't help but fall."

[Aphy!]

Now that u mention it, it does sound weird. But I guess it's kind of a gravity thing? Like, if u fall (like literally fall) then u can't do anything about it. Just let it be. But it speaks to people in different ways

[Gee]

Enjoyed this,thought the last line was to short,perhaps not....."nothing now to you at all" ??

[Aphy!]

Thanks for reviewing, and I like the last line short!

[Gee]

Good on you,your welcome.Take care

[Not here]

you should definitely do more poetry. this was great :)

[Aphy!]

Thank u very much, and I'll be posting more poetry soon!

[Not here]

good good!

[Shadowkai]

Amazing i definitely relate, yea ik im a guy but i am in touch with my soft side and i definitely have the feels

[Aphy!]

Isn't really a gender thing when it comes to pain and disappointment, then an inner softness of the heart changes ur entire world. ALL FROM ONE BREAK-UP! But I guess that's how we all learn and grow

[Angelique]

Wow very nice words and wonderfully written. All those empty promises, thoughts and feelings, once so true and then destroyed in just a single moment.

[Aphy!]

I know right. It's amazing how people just flip on you like a switch but I guess we all have to man up (or woman up) and move on with life. But we get to learn and grow as well (In my case, I produce good things out of my bad experiences)
Glad u enjoyed reading

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and direct words.
"Pretty lies and empty words,
Now I'm nothing at all. "
Words can brake our heart when they are un-true. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Aphy!]

Thank you for reading it hey, really appreciate it

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Bluefire]

Gorgeous and sad, like the sparkling sea inside a tear.
The rhythm and word choice match perfectly in their dance, and the sincerity adds a special touch.
Well played!

[Aphy!]

Thank you for the review. Means a lot coming from you

[Bluefire]

Aw, no problem!

[Breanna Riddle]

This is very beautiful and easily relatable, thank you soo much for sharing :)

[Aphy!]

Pleasure, and thanx for reading.

[B. Boileau]

Of course you should do more poetry ! You words flow easy, and draw us in to the story.
This one is sad, but an unfortunate common tale. The good news is when you least expect it, theres usually something to fill the hole left behind

[Aphy!]

I'll consider poetry then..surprisingly I like it better now. Lets me express myself more. Thank you for those very kind words and yes it really is a very sad and tragic story but hopefully the hole will mend itself and maybe happiness will emerge. Thank you again for reviewing my work

[Tomoe Tellez]

Sadly I can relate to this. This is very sad, when you give your love completely to someone and then they betray you and you can't even believe it. Great write!

[Aphy!]

We sure common pain. But hopefully everything turns out right and there'll be a "light at the end of the tunnel". Thank you for reading and reviewing!