Where's the Cream

Warning there is one wee curse word at the end.

Where's the Cream

What do you mean?
You don't have any cream?
the Starbucks-spoiled princess did yelp;
she lamented; and let out a scream.

Holy Green Mermaid! she carried on.
I see skim, 2-percent, and whole milk, 
there's even a fermented bean juice, 
rotting away on the shelf!

Half and half is not the same,
my petulant apron-clad friend.
Put that water-downed atrocity away;
you put it away in the bin!

It's cream in my coffee, 
the fattier the better.
This cup is my nirvana;
calories don't count in heaven. 

Now, I know what your thinking;
Our little princess should switch to decaf tea
The problem, our little princess ...
                                  our little princess is me.

So take my advice for another day, 
another day you want to live, that is.
For without my morning cup of joe,
this princess is a fire-spitting dragon. 

From my dead gripping talons, 
will you get my cup of caffeine;
so wipe that silly smirk from your face;
soothe the beast ... a
nd get me some f*****g cream!!!

Author's Note

Reviews

[Mittens]

I am never getting between you and your caffeine... that is a dangerous situation. In fact, it might be safer for us all to just invent a way of introducing it to your system intravenously. But on the plus side, apparently that wonderful chemical leads to some fantastic writing out of you, so we might actually up your dosage.

By the way, I love that your "I don't care what you think of my Starbuck's Princess" side and how you're unapologetic about it. You do such a good job of the perspective that I'm willing to bet you could write a story about two year old throwing a tantrum and actually have the reader sympathizing with what we would normally perceive as a annoying incident.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Matt. It's all about perspective really. I mean how ridiculous to get so upset over such a small thing. (PS. I am not really this bad.) We are so blessed, but yeah cream is better. Part of my philosophy in this life is to laugh off as much as you can, and laugh at yourself as much as you can, leaving the fretting for the big stuff. So glad you enjoyed and another fantastic review, sir.

[chris36]

I tend to feel the same way in the morning before I have had a chance to drink my coffee, so this piece really hits home for me good job!

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Chris.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ok, well now we all know how Pryde takes her coffee - and you'd better get it right! LOL! It really is the little things that get to us, isn't it?

Holy green mermaid... any relation to the Jolly Green Giant? ;)

[Pryde Foltz]

Thanks Rita. Holy green mermaid is the Starbucks logo.

[Jack...]

Yep, all I know is if I am ever in line in front of you at starbucks, I will gladly relinquish my spot because I value my life. And believe me, after reading this, I am sure I will feel the stare burning through the back of my head if I don't.

Funny Pryde...you're the cream of the crop.

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh don't worry most of the time I am the most gracious of dragons. Thank you, jack.

[Jack...]

Ok, good, well then let me say, I will never take the last of the cream.

[Pryde Foltz]

That may be a wise choice

[Sami Khalil]

"It's cream in my coffee, the fattier the better.This cup is my nirvana;calories don't count in heaven.
Now, I know what your thinking;"
Starbucks , one of my faves , for coffee , teas and all other treats and above all company of friends . I think you were on a coffee - craze rush being a spoled princess then to turn into a fire-spitting dragon which is hilllarious. You are so right . We need to soothe our beasts or we become one too...Very creative and funny...:)

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Sami. Yes, I love my Starbucks.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good to know...You are welcome...:)

[Pryde Foltz]

Inspired by a trip to a coffee bar that wasn't Starbucks. I hope it gave you a giggle.