Optimism: A[t]Tempt[ing] Project

 

Everything is killing me.

 

You rendered me so fragile –

a child toddling past

the park bench where I sit

to contemplate the future

looks up at me and gurgles,

and I

 

break down. Of course.

 

He leaves to go get ice cream

or chase a ball

or whatever kids do,

[am I confusing them

with puppies again –

which one fetches sticks?]

blissfully unaware

that the mere sight of him

stabs me in the chest

repeatedly.

Such violence,

who would have thought –

he seemed so innocent.

 

I hitch a few breaths shakily

and decide

martyrdom is not for me.

But still I cling

to concepts of the unconditional

[is this what you meant

by idealism?]

and struggle for compromise.

 

As the sun sings farewell

to swings,

and my silhouette

dangling from the monkey-bars,

I figure one day

we’ll play Scrabble

and drink whisky again

[see, I never wanted much] –

 

there’ll be a trading of stories;

motherhood and biological

glory -

and maybe,

just maybe, I’ll be

having such a good time,

I’ll have to shield you

from the truth.

Reviews

[F. Nazarov]

This piece really touches the heart.

park bench where I sit
to contemplate the future
looks up at me and gurgles,
and I

break down.

That part really got me, because it reminds me of when I go for walks
to clear my head and I take one of nieces or my nephew and their little hand
holds mine. The effect that a child has on the way I view life sometimes
is phenomenal. Their innocence, it's touching and I feel it in those lines.


I figure one day
we'll play Scrabble
and drink whisky again
[see, I never wanted much]

And these lines are killer good friggin work {if that makes any sense}
The simplicity makes me smile, because it kinda reminds me of the simple
things I kinda ask for sometimes. But they're saddening because it's astounding
how hard it is for someone to fulfill those simple requests.

Such a really good piece and I applaud you. I loved it :D

[Leap]

This is great. Love the style. Thanks for the review and I look forward to reading more of your work.

[mick weller]

this conveys so much, and
'As the sun sings farewell
to swings,
and my silhouette
dangling from the monkey-bars,
I figure one day
we'll play Scrabble
and drink whisky again
[see, I never wanted much] '
clouds my eyes -
I'm in early evening and you are about to return with someone else's child...

[Emily B]

Children fetch useful things like snacks and soft drinks or the remote control. Puppies only fetch things you're not sure you'd want to touch. :)

I believe your voice gets stronger all the time. The painful optimism in this piece is so open and endearing. It flowed beautifully up to that last hopeful little note.