...AND THE GODS PLAY SNAKES AND LADDERS WITH GREASED RUNGS

climbing in elation.

 

descending,

naivety the oil slick -

lack of surprise

breaks my fall.

 

i’m not like you;

i save the pieces

 

forever

 

and don’t have the heart

[or guts, whatever]

to dash anything

to the floor,

lest i regret my impulse.

 

suffocating instinct,

the self-denial

isn’t as easy as you

may suppose.

 

destruction

is child’s play.

Author's Note

Found this in an extremely tattered notebook, dated 07.04.08, which was a bad day.
It's not brilliant or anything but the earnest scruffiness appealed to me so I figured I'd post it, reunite it with all the others haha.

Reviews

[holly]

Scruffiness is a fine quality in a good poem like this one. Walt Whitman would've been envious - not least because you used only enough words to convey your meaning. "suffocating instinct..." - committed love does that daily. And of course the ending two lines are too true. I remember scattering destruction when I was young and too ignorant to know what chances I was losing.

I like how the "scruffiness" was intermingled with phrases like "climbing in elation."
Which are distinctly non-scruffy. But still earnest.

[Collect-Eye]

"lack of surprise breaks my fall" is such a line id use in a mental/emotional state like you describe you were in.
And I love the title..it's so coiled and intermingled w/ the theme and feel of the piece.
personally, as far as ideology goes..I like to channel raw feelings such as betrayal and being disrespected and stepped on into creativity and productivity..take control of the reality that in reflection, was nearly taken from me.
But yea, this piece is a little different from your other works, but I can dig that..it's got poise and it flows w/ a methodical sense of self-control..which, I spose can be a double edged sword, but I've found restraint to be my best ally at times, even though the temptation to put myself down over it crept in..
anyway, nice work and thanks for posting this.

[Emily B]

I like scruffy. I am extremely jealous of those people who can wallow in a fit of rage. I was so mad at my husband the other day. Wanted to throw the cel phone at the wall and tell him off good and yet I never do . . .

I like earnest, too. These words met me in a good way today.