Chapter 3

Ezekiel and Gabriel were the last prisoners off the plane. The cool breeze blew back Ezekiel’s snow white hair. Gabriel’s head was blistered in the cold do to his unfinished haircut. The guards stood in front of the prisoners with their rifles out. Only the cool breeze was heard for thirty seconds when the giant gate swung open. One figure emerged from the dark tall gate. As the mysterious figure approached the prisoners faces shifted. The person approaching them was hovering in midair. He carried a silver staff in his right hand. His skin was very pale and above his eyebrows were two blue oval shaped marks. The guards made a hole as he glided through. The man stopped when he was hovering over the prisoner’s. “Hello my pets.” The floating man said. “I am Ozay Clento II.” “But you will address me as master!” “Anyone who thinks I’m kidding will be thrown off the island.” Ozay looked down on them with an evil grin. “This is your home now; you were all wild animals that couldn’t be tamed.” Ozay smiled hard showing all his white teeth. “But don’t worry I’m adopting you to my home.”

 

“Three thousand nine hundred and fifty-seven pets live here! With your arrival, the number jumped up a hundred.” Ozay hovers around the prisoners looking down on them as he lays on air. “But the number goes up and down all the time, a lot of my pets don’t get along with others, and some of them are so weak that they die of simple starvation.” Ozay hovers higher into the air. “As you will soon find out this is no ordinary prison! There are no gates or lookout gunman! There is no need for them! Escaping from this place is impossible unless you can survive a fall of over 50,000 feet!”

Ozay lowers his altitude just enough so his feet aren’t touching the ground. He looks at the prisoners, most of which were terrified. “I will release you of your bonds. There is no need for them here.”

 

Ozay raised his staff in the air. A blue shiny circle shaped aura appeared on top of the staff. The aura polluted the area around them. Handcuffs popped open dropping to the ground. The prisoners looked at one another. “He must be a mage.” One of them said. “A Mage? there real!?” Another said. Gabriel leaned close to Ezekiel. “What’s a mage?” he whispered in Ezekiel’s ear. Ezekiel rubbed his beard and observed the area around him. Ozay rose back in the air. “Well that does it for orientation, my pets may follow me inside.” Ozay turned his back hovering towards the prison.

 

“F**k this guy man! Who does he think he is?” Said a prisoner. “Yeah he must think us weak uncuffing us before we even step inside.” Said another prisoner. “I bet if we team up we can take this guy! Look the plane hasn’t left yet. If we all form together we can be the first to ever leave this place alive!” The prisoners began plotting amongst one another. Ozay still had his back on them he was hovering only a few inches off the ground. He stopped just before the giant gate. “Now!” Yelled a prisoner. In an instant over half of the prisoners were charging at Ozay. “This is our chance.” Gabriel said. Gabriel started to take of running but Ezekiel placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

Gabriel looked at Ezekiel who was shaking his head. The prisoners were less than a foot away from Ozay. When he raised his staff in the air. The blue aura from earlier appeared around all the prisoners that charged him. They were then lifted high into the air. “For a second I thought yall were going to be boring and go in without putting up a fight!” Ozay said then began laughing. The prisoners screamed in terror as they dangled in midair. The prisoners who did not charge looked equally terrified. “Now I get to show you what happens when you decide to go against me!” Ozay raised his staff.

 

As he done so the prisoners were lifted higher. Ozay then pointed his staff forward. All the prisoners were hurled over the island. Screaming as they flew over the lands to the empty sky. The screams grew fainter as they were hurled farther out of view. Ozay smiled at the remaining prisoners. “Is that all? The entire group threw themselves at me on the last transport.” The prisoners looked at one another but no one said a word. “Good now let’s get my pets settled in their new home.” The gate was open and Ozay hovered inside. The other prisoners were hesitant to move. Ezekiel went first Gabriel followed closely behind him. “Hey how did you know jumping the warden was a bad idea?” Gabriel whispered. “Be quiet.” Ezekiel whispered back.

 

A strong stench of blood welcomed the new inmates as they walked inside. The prison was ocular shaped; Cells containing convicts were all around them. The cells were stacked oddly on top of one another. It stretched as far as the eye can see. One might wonder how the prisoners got in them. There were no inmates in a cell at the bottom level. Only blood that decorated the bars and floor. Prisoners greeted the new inmates with howls and other animal noises. Ozay stopped at the center of the prison. “Welcome to sky lee!” Ozay said then disappeared with a wave of his staff.

 

The new inmates looked around frightened and confused. Gabriel looked at Ezekiel who was playing with his beard. “What happen? Where did he go?” Gabriel asked. “Don’t know but I could really use a drink right now.” “Are you serious!? Look at all the blood on the floor this can’t be good.” Ezekiel looked around the prison; he noticed inmates above them were staring down grinning. Some of them leaned on the bars watching them like they were watching t.v Ezekiel also noticed that some of the cells on the bottom floor was open. “Follow me kid.” Ezekiel said as he walked toward a cell. Gabriel followed closely behind.

 

“Now what do we do?” Gabriel asked Ezekiel once they were inside a cell. Ezekiel lay down on the bottom bunk bed. “I’m going to sleep.” Gabriel watched the old man as he turned his back to him facing the steel wall. Gabriel shook his head. “Is this man for real?” Gabriel looked at the new inmates. Some of which were already in a cell, others ran back to the steel door trying to pry it open. “Please let me out of here! There has been a mistake! I don’t belong here!” An inmate yelled as he banged on the gate. Other inmates laughed at the man. “Yeah I’m not supposed to be here either! Who knew Luther had a law that says I can’t piss in a fountain that has his statue on it.” An inmate yelled. I was arrested for laughing in the house of Dagon while a sermon was going on! Yelled another inmate. Laughter echoed in the prison. Inmates watched the new arrivals as they struggled to settle in. One new inmate broke down in the middle of the floor and started crying. Out of nowhere a blue aura appeared on the bottom floor surrounding the inmates. “Uh oh” Said an inmate from above. “It’s time.” Gabriel Stared at the aura. “This is the stuff that Ozay guy was emitting earlier.” In an instant, the inmates in the center spontaneously combusted. Blood splattered everywhere even the inmates at the gate were no more. Only blood and torn red jumpsuits remained.

 

Gabriel fell to the floor, with his jaw wide open. “What... what just happen?” Blood dripped off the bars. Not a single body was seen in the center only blood. Inmates in a cell were unharmed by the attack. “Where are they!?” Gabriel yelled. “Don’t you get it?” Said a voice coming from the ceiling above Gabriel. “There dead!” Gabriel stood back on his feet slowly, still looking at the bloody mess in front of him. “What happened to them?” Gabriel asked. “It was a trap set by Clento. New arrivals have a certain time to accept their fate and get in a cell. Those who still remain outside of a cell after ten minutes of Clento disappearance will die.” Gabriel shook his head. “Just like that!? No warning or anything? How is that fair?” The inmate laughed with a raspy voice. “Look around! None of this is fair! You’re in prison! Life wasn’t fair what the hell makes you think this hell would treat you any better.” Gabriel kept his eyes fixed on the blood-soaked floor.

 

“How is this even possible? They were all there a second ago.” Gabriel looked at Ezekiel who was asleep. “How can he sleep so peacefully after just getting locked in here?” Gabriel wondered. “I will tell you some advice kid” Said the inmate. “Make some friends you’re going to need them. Without anyone watching your back you won’t last a week.” The inmate laughed his raspy laugh. Gabriel gazed upon the bloody floor. He now understood what Ozay meant when he said this was no ordinary prison.

Author's Note

Any review good or bad will be of help

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I mentioned in an earlier review that it's not clear & easy to follow the back-and-forth of your dialogue becuz you put multiple people speaking in the same paragraph (it seems jumbled together). There needs to be a new paragraph started each time a new person speaks.

I think the storyline is stronger for this chapter, compared to the first two chapters I already reviewed. I'm getting a feel for the situation & characters, so that the storyline makes more & more sense. Your writing is logical & clearly stated.

In paragraph 5 (starting with: "Gabriel looked at Ezekiel who was shaking his head.") . . . this scene does not feel dramatic enuf to me. Here's this major uprising of all these prisoners & then the uprising is smashed down with such a tiny little moment of blue force. This seems to be a teaching moment for the prisoners, so they will not rise up again, but it feels too flimsy & not a very strong rebuke. It just doesn't feel like a very convincing scene, to show the power of the Ozay, & to show how the prisoners learned their lesson. The whole scene happens too fast. There's more time spent describing ordinary scenes, but then when you have this major scene, it feels weak to me. It could be pumped up. Try using more sounds & sensations & smells to build it up into a threatening scene that's powerful & believable.

[Rasheem]

Thank you so much for this powerful an educational feedback! I know I have a long way to go before I can even think about getting published. In this scene I was trying to show how powerful Ozay was in hopes of making the story more interesting. I also was trying to show how dangerous the situation was. There on a floating prison island with no way to get down and there warden is not ordinary. Again thank you for this amazing review I will continue to write and get better.