Prisoner

Prisoner

A Poem by Rhianne Ney
"

part two of Paper Planes

"
Imprisoned because of murder,
I only have a month to live,
I'm not expecting anything but death,
Until I saw her.

Because we can't communicate,
She sent me a paper plane.
The feeling of rough paper in my hands was lingering.
Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow.

I fell in love with her,
With her encouraging words,
She's the only one who appreciated me.

Until I die, I wont forget
The shine of your eyes and the shimmer of your hair,
The unspoken words that reached me,
And that smile that gave me my future.

© 2012 Rhianne Ney


Author's Note

Rhianne Ney
please point out anything that i should revise...
to understand this better you may consider reading the first part of it...
this is Vocaloid inspired...

My Review

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Featured Review

Great job rendering this song in poem format! I've heard both songs associated with this, and I have to say that you managed to convey a similar bitter-sweetness in this short but heart-tugging poem. I loved the switch from third to second person, it really accented the prisoner's (I refer to the narrator) passion for his love. You are truly a talented poet!

Also: "Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow." Should it be 'have' instead of 'has'?

すばらしい!!/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Yeah, thanks I'll take a note to that



Reviews

Wonderful writing. I liked how you expressed
the prisoners' feelings!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the review(:
aw, this was a really sweet, sad story within this poem, one that wouldn't be expected on account of the fact that you give the murderer feelings. You give him a heart and reason to live.

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

(: Thanks for the review (:
beautiful, sweet, gorgeous!! love it!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Whoa, hey there thanks for reading and reviewing (:
Great job rendering this song in poem format! I've heard both songs associated with this, and I have to say that you managed to convey a similar bitter-sweetness in this short but heart-tugging poem. I loved the switch from third to second person, it really accented the prisoner's (I refer to the narrator) passion for his love. You are truly a talented poet!

Also: "Her letters has given me hope for tomorrow." Should it be 'have' instead of 'has'?

すばらしい!!/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Yeah, thanks I'll take a note to that
it's truly sweet and filled with pure and touching emotions......nice piece!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Thanks for the review!
It's awesome!!!! 100/100

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Thanks a lot! ;D
Ruby

8 Years Ago

Your welcome
I really love this :3
It's like I can feel what the certain character is feeling...
I don't feel like that in real life, It's just that I can feel what he's feeling when I read your poem.
Love it...! ++SHELF FOR SURE+++

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Thanks! lol
Nigaiyuki

8 Years Ago

You're welcome
Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

:3
Wonderfully written her hair glimmering shimmering the sun light, her eyes alive with love,s heart, her beauty shines her smile melts you, she be an angle placed there for thee the wonder of love the magic of hope.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

Wow... deep description, thanks for reading!
Michael Soul

8 Years Ago

I like to write comes to my mind when reading, i think its the best way for me to complement the wor.. read more
Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

That's great ;D
Just as good as Paper planes, really talented writing! Keep up the awesome work :D

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

thanks! love you two! (:
KKBatoretto

8 Years Ago

Love you too :)
Well written and I can relate. Well, to the context of the poem anyway. Not sure what it means to you :).

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rhianne Ney

8 Years Ago

well, I don't have the same feelings with the theme... but I was just inspired by the message of the.. read more

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753 Views
13 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 1, 2012
Last Updated on September 1, 2012
Tags: prisoner, paper plane, murder, kagamine len, rin, vocaloid

Author

Rhianne Ney
Rhianne Ney

Baguio City, the city of cold temperature, Philippines



About
So there I'm back from the depths of High School Life and can now post anything possible. --- Notice: To some book supporters, I deleted all of them for some issues that I have to battle right no.. more..

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