Love? I beg to differ

Please don't make me feel this

Seems like the wind will change today

A new destination on the month of May

Beginning with the small petals of a beautiful flower

Alas! I hope my resistance wouldn’t falter

 

A new destination on the month of May

Please, oh please, don’t ever come this way

My heart will throb and go crazy

I won’t handle my head if it goes hazy.

 

I told myself, I will never fall

Survive your challenge; I’ve been through it all

Yet, what’s with this rebel inside?

It wants me to think again and decide

 

No! I plead, love isn’t something for me

I might not be able to break free

So, stop showing yourself and let me be

Because I won’t be able to make you happy.

Author's Note

Another random write! This is something I thought of while I was having lunch on Mcdo.
My first draft was written on a receipt (: Which I wasn't able to finish. Any suggestions are fine. This is still in free verse despite the rhyme so I'm so sorry about that. Anyways, read at your own leisure

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Reviews

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Aho, so that's what took you so long o.e

But that aside you seem to have grown a lot. Well at least its apparent in this poem. Needless to say it was an enjoyable read though I have to comment that the font size is a tad bit large... or not

Ehem... ano iyan ha? Kaw talaga :3

[Rhianne Ney]

Hahah, wala lang eto iyong sinulat ko sa blue notebook yung tinanong mo last time (:

[Katherine Enma Pineapple]

oho~ I see... I was waiting forever alone in the LA room T^T

[Rhianne Ney]

Haha, sorry ha (:P

[Tea]

I love it it's beautifuly done

:)

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for reading (:

[Tea]

your welcome

[Rhianne Ney]

(: My pleasure then

[Tea]

lol :)

[Rhianne Ney]

Lolz (:

[Tea]

:)

[Hazel Stone]

I found it rather interesting good job

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for reading again (:

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I think the ending is a little slow and expected. You use some good imagery here, but your message is a little unclear, and that makes the whole piece come across as unfocused.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thanks for reading and I'll try to fix that when I'm on my right writer senses already

[Dr. Wood ?]

Well I think you have made a great job of this...you need to change a little..just a problem with the tense on line4....It really should be Alas I hope my resistance WON'T falter,,,surely..or HOPED it WOULDN'T

[Rhianne Ney]

I'll change that, thank you, Sir

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Rhianne, So this is the reciept poem? Did not like the large red lettering but that is not the poetry just found it annoying. The poem is good and flows but needs a little crafting to make it better. I think it should say 'in' the month of May and perhaps not repeat the line in the next stanza. The final stanza does need crafting to get it right. The message seems mixed. On one hand she seems to be saying she can't make him happy on the other that she doesn't want him?

[Rhianne Ney]

I'll fix that if I have the time to, since this is kinda something that suddenly popped out and thank you for the suggestion(:

[Rhianne Ney]

I've written a new version (:

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I like it much better than the original. The poem I posted last night 'A flight of Fancy' I have crafted at least seven times to get it right and I bet someone will still be able to suggest ways to improve it! I believe that I won't get better as a writer unless I read the works of others and am open to ideas of ways to improve and am willing to try different ways of doing things. It is a sign of a good writer to be able to consider such things and be open so I really admire your openness Rhianne.

[Rhianne Ney]

Thank you, Sir. I also want to improve my writing and this Wednesday, I feel some yearning to read a lot. The result made me think of a lot of stories but sadly, I can't just overload the posts and make my load bigger (:

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I understand. Keep writing and reading though as often as you may.

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome, Sir and thank you again