Old Love (second thoughts)

Ballad in alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter (8/6/8/6 counts) and abcb, defe, ghih, etc; rhyme scheme.

It’s well I know of lonely nights …

these ever longer days.

Each time my lover's strayed-away

and I'm the one who stays.

Lost rivers from my many tears …

then, flowed to sorrow's seas,

with plaintive, soft-sent sighs to thee,

beseeching on bare knees.

Too well I know that painful grip

of steady, lonesome days,

and dread the fall of eventide,

devoid of your dear ways.

Comes ever to my waiting hope,

unanswered, echoed calls …

there's no relent to this dire need;

too sad, each tear that falls.

Shhh! Listen, hear this heart of mine

sing sweet our love's refrain …

oh, do your feet begin to dance,

or does it bring you pain,

to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?

If you shall answer with a, "Yes,

my soul is lonely, too!"

Why not then give us one more chance,

to make old love brand new.

Richard W. Jenkins

©2019

.

Author's Note

Painting: Oil on board, courtesy of Pinterest.

Please, feel free to leave hard critique, but know what you're talking about. 🤔

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi Richard,
Yes I am back!!!
Gosh over 5 weeks of being too ill to read and review…and, of course write.
I was delighted to come across this wonderful ballad of yours which I do so relate to.
It flowed so well but then again all your poems/sonnets do. With the knowledge I now have “up my sleeve” I was able to see (feel) the rhyme scheme, which made your ballad even more enjoyable. I had to chuckle when I read your notes..
I love the whole notion of the stars twinkling in your eyes… the metaphor is great.
The sad feeling one has when that twinkle is gone and the hope that it perhaps can be rekindled.
Part of me wants to respond to each of the lines in your ballad as I connect deeply to your words.
Lisa, back to connecting

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Lisa Dear 🍂

"Happy 2023!"
It is so wonderfully delightful to feel your warming presence again; especially, when it's well and energy-filled … I'm happy to know you've healed very nicely, finally!
Oh yes, the Ballad form; hopefully, you'll be composing in it soon enough. : )
So much of import and enlightenment is often in the notes; especially, when one's knowledge allows proper understanding.

We both know how rare rekindling old love can be, eh?
Thanks for such an interesting review, Lisa … big hugs! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

Oh it is so wonderful to be back... Honestly I have that stupid lingering cough but other than that I am up and in action. Read and reviewed quite a few today.. and, so looking forward to tomorrow as I plan to go back to my unfinished poems...
L

[Richard🖌]

Sounds good. : )

[Lisasview]

So tomorrow morning I will start..
Missed you more than you will ever know..
Lisa

[lovelymarina]

Richard!! You are a TRUE POET. The lines flow perfectly, with a specific number of words per stanza. Something about that not only makes the poem sound “more poetic” but also improves its appearance. This poem gave me feelings of longing, a break up, wanting somebody back… trying to revive the love and allow the pain to subside. It’s hard… reminded me of my ex. It would be nice to make all the bad go away, wouldnt it? Another great piece from you… not surprised.

[Richard🖌]

Yes, Lovely Marina🥂

It would, indeed, be so wondrously enthralling if we had but to wave our magic wand to swift all "bad" away from memory, that we'd throw our arms and hearts wide open to start anew … ahhh, but alas, c'est la vie 'n fate!
You know what amazes Me about You? It's the seemingly natural, almost instinctive, eloquence you possess in perceiving poetry's finer, more significant facets and virtues that make its poetic voice sing and dance … purely emblematic to the master flowing your veins.
Your exacting interpretation in every aspect of this piece is uncanny, but why (by now) could I expect less.

A truly gorgeous review, Mon Lovely Marina ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Shelley Warner]

A work of art, my favorite lines:
to know that stars cannot take back

what's twinkled in our eyes …

nor, moon forget that which he's seen

on high from warm night skies?

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Dear Shelley 🥂

Oh, what a wonderfully inspiring and gratifying compliment you've paid this hopefully humble bard … thank you ever-so warmly … blush!
How encouraging it is, too, that you've highlighted those few lines amongst my favorites.

Hugs 'n blessings to thee! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

Such a beautiful and haunting poem. I love the “old English” words and the composition!

[Richard🖌]

Ohhh, Suzanne🍷

I'd walk a mile for your love of anything I've written, and your warming compliments make my humble efforts feel all the more worthwhile … I am sooo thrilled you found favor in this little homage to renewed romance.

Thank you, Lovely Lady-Writer … happy hugs! ⁓ Richard🍃

[Kerra]

Too well I know that painful grip
of steady, lonesome days,
and dread the fall of eventide,
devoid of your dear ways.

Gosh Richard, I can really feel your words here "Too well I know that painful grip"
I do a lot these days. This is wonderful as well as filled with beauty as well.
emotionally filled and beautiful at the same time. Nicely written.

[Richard🖌]

Dear Kerra 🌼

Such a lovely review you blessed me with … it's how you've expressed your thoughts, feelings, and emotions that tells me we've truly connected on a meaningful level.

Thank you, Kerra, ever-so warmly and gratefully for finding such virtue in this rather hopeful piece.

I am so very happy you come to read me! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Azifwecare]

I'm sorry I cannot offer a hard critique or any for that matter for I am noone to judge. I can only hope to share my thoughts with you on your lovely poem. I know your pain, I've been there before. How it hurts 😞 and the way you express your thoughts... Wonderful poem my friend.

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Dear S-1, ever-so warmly and gratefully 🥀

To write for one who so vividly and deeply relates to the very essence of my words, means everything to a dramatically hopeful bard who's blended his heart's imaginings and feelings so thoroughly into his ink and given his best for someone just like You to appreciate.

My warmest hug for your wonderfully inspiring praise and appreciation … may your hours be spent embraced in happiness! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Poetic Beauty]

The sorrow of a lover drifting away into a different direction away from “us” is tearful.

Trying to rekindle an old love isn’t easy but sometimes oh sometimes it turns out to be amazing

[Richard🖌]

Thank you, Lady PB 😌

it is so very nice to be read by one who relates and understands so very well the depth and meaning of my gratefully rendered poetic effort.

With an appreciative caress! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Poetic Beauty]

You are most welcome

[Fran Marie]

long long lonely
days and nights
such a longing
to recapture
a romance that
had been and hope
to regain once again~

Shhh! Listen, hear this heart of mine
sing sweet our love's refrain …

speaks a wanton call of love
so beautifully penned
and deeply expressed

nice work

[Richard🖌]

How wonderfully beautiful, Fran 🎶

Your words sing a graciously sweet song of poetical warmth and praise any hopeful bard would be thrilled to receive … as I most truly am.

Hugs to you, Lovely-Hearted Poetess! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[barleygirl]

Interesting storyline progression --> from moaning narrator sounding painfully forlorned & then moving in the direction of accepting the loss & embracing that which can never be lost about what's been lost. Nicely lyrical writing (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Richard🖌]

G'Day, Margie 🌤️

Thanks for reading, complimenting, and commenting on this romantic little piece.

I hope California's been treating you well, with its wondrously glorious beauty! ⁓ Richard 🍃