I Promise...

A promise to keep.

I'll be here,
I promised...

When you left me,
on this lonely path.
Left with just darkness,
And love's deadly wraith...

I tried to turn around and return,
from where I once started.
Kept running in the dark,
everyone thought I'm retarded...

I'll be here,
I promised...

I tried to free myself,
from each and every thought of you.
But the more I thought,
the deeper my love grew...

I cried, I shouted,
Thinking you might hear.
But no one ever heard me,
I lived in shadows of my tears...

I'm still here,
as I promised...

I'm still waiting for you,
from where you left long ago...
But you might not recognize me,
for who am i now? Even I don't know...

But I'm still here,
everyday my love still grows.
You are far away from me,
And I just want you to know:

I'll always be here,

I promise once more...

Author's Note

Help me improve it...thank you...:)

Reviews

[Lenah Mehzabin]

I don't think it needs anymore improvement ..it's already so amazing that it made me teary nd after every stanza when u said " i will be here ,i promised " .. it just made me stop and stare for few minutes ... very beautifull , totally a piece of brilliance.. :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it and it touched you...:)

[blackfairy3]

Your welcome :)

[MomzillaNC]

Very sad lines of true devotion. I don't think I could venture to give NOTES on something so deeply felt and personal.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[Arshia]

Excellently expressed emotions..A wonderful poem indeed! :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Arshia....:)

[Confuser]

I am learning, like you, Sanjh. Writing rules, not so certain, but feel certain, "retarted" could be changed: parents that have a special needs child would take offense. Make sense? "But I'm still here, everyday my loves "still" grows. The two writings of "still" so close together could be changed. Otherwise, you have another beautiful poem of love, ...awaiting. It flows quite nicely and as always, I enjoyed it. Thank you Sanjh. I wish I could write like you!

[Sanjh]

Thank you, yes I can understand what you are trying to say. And the "still", it's bugging me too. I'll change it, thanks for the suggestion. And believe me, I've read your work and your writes are far better than mine. May be I could write like you someday ...thank you once again...:)

[Confuser]

try growing...w/o still? Read it aloud, as I've been told. Not certain about meter. Anyway....T/Y

[rashu]

just amazing ..what a peice of writing ...
"I cried, I shouted,
Thinking you might hear.
But no one ever heard me,
I lived in shadows of my tears..."
these lines are my fav ..
amazing ...
keep it up..

[Sanjh]

Thank you Rashu...:)

[Jae-Anne Smith]

Excellent! No more words needed!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Anne...:)

[Pryde Foltz]

I cried, I shouted,
Thinking you might hear.
But no one ever heard me,
I lived in shadows of my tears…

Seems a pretty soggy place to live … lol … I kid … that is one amazing line. The height of expression to this piece.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Pryde...and believe me it's really very soggy...lol...:)

[Ms. Nobody]

Oh gosh. This is...just sad. But well written. :) I liked this for how you wrote it. And maybe a little bit more because I'm going through something similar. haha...

This part especially, thumbs up to you :)
"I tried to free myself,
from each and every thought of you.
But the more I thought,
the deeper my love grew..."

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you are able to relate to it. Just keep smiling, things will be better soon...:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

i know that feeling bro.........
you have done an amazing job here........
"I'm still waiting for you,
from where you left long ago...
But you might not recognize me,
for who am i now? Even I don't know...

But I'm still here,
everyday my love still grows.
You are far away from me,
And I just want you to know:

I'll always be here,
I promise once more..."

Excellent!!!
i loved it!!!!
:)

[Sanjh]

Thank you brother, I"m glad you liked it...:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome!!! :)

[Eleanor]

Its wonderfully written.
It doesnt really matter if the physical bodies are together. Sometimes there's a connection of souls.
We can ignore our love for someone but never forget it. Deep inside we still care and definitely still wait for them to come back . Maybe they broke their promise but you would never break yours.
Loved this :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much...:)

[Tasfia Islam]

its great....keep it up.....i was kinda lost in ur words, they got a touchy story.....

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it...:)