A Vampire's Bite

Some non-vampires often desire to be bitten. This is written from their point of view.

  A Vampire's Bite

 

I sit silently waiting

And wanting your touch

Across the room gazing

I need you so much

Inside me your goal

Will find such power

Releasing my soul

My blood you devour

Sinking deeper you go

Your fangs blood red

Draining me so

Too much to be said

I tense up with fear

Knowing the pleasure

The feeling so near

I will always treasure

My fate you will seal

As you hold me so tight

Your strength I will feel

From your violent Bite! 

Author's Note

Thank you for all your comments. I'm still learning and hope to get better the more I write. Please let me know what you think...

Reviews

[JenLyn]

This was a great write it flows well and the rhyme scheme it nice. I enjoyed reading it, unlike some poems about seduction etc. this one had speed to it, it didn't drag so it made you want to read it even more. If you're into vampires you should check out my poem "Love Letter To A Vampire" but honestly I think your poem is better. Good job! Keep it up! Oh and as far as learning and getting better all it takes it practice, and reading other poetry helps as well, so write until you feel like your hand is going to fall off. I look forward to reading more of your writing. :)

[Jacqueline Lopez]

This is adorable. I loved it, because you have amazing rhymes, plus it's romantic!!!!

[Awakening]

Wow this was incredible! Really amazing how you described the intensity and desire without giving too much information. I like the flow as it had a rush attached to it. Keep on writing and sharing!!!!!

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

Nice rhyme scheme and I really liked how it flowed. Intersting way to describe the feeling.Great write! :)

[Tina Kline]

This is really nice, very erotic and sensual. I think you did a wonderful job capturing the desire a person who wants to be bitten can feel when they finally are experiencing what they wanted to terribly bad. Excellent job.

[Frantzuu]

I'm working on a vampire book, and I'm trying to create this perfect female vampire any guy would dream about lol

[Frantzuu]

I love vampires, specially the girls, they're so freaking hot, great write though lol
:D

[Raven Wilson]

Makes me think of several stories I have read where teh vampires have a certain lure to them that draws th0ose wishing to be bitten, very nice

[C.J.G.]

This is very good. My only suggestions would be to possibly tweak it a little to fit for pure, human attraction AND vampire. I think it would attract a wider range of people. Yet, again, very well written. I enjoyed reading this.

[Doreen]

Nice write. I love the sense of expectation, yearning...the wanting of the taboo and forbidden. It first comes across as light, but upon the second read, you can see that it's much deeper. I like this very much.

[ReversingEvolution4TheB..]

This was a very well written piece and it was very fluid. This reminds me of the book series 'Dark-Hunters'. It's a very good series and I feel this would tie in somewhere with the overall storyline of those books. Great job, I'm looking forward to reading more.