A Vampire's Bite

Some non-vampires often desire to be bitten. This is written from their point of view.

  A Vampire's Bite

 

I sit silently waiting

And wanting your touch

Across the room gazing

I need you so much

Inside me your goal

Will find such power

Releasing my soul

My blood you devour

Sinking deeper you go

Your fangs blood red

Draining me so

Too much to be said

I tense up with fear

Knowing the pleasure

The feeling so near

I will always treasure

My fate you will seal

As you hold me so tight

Your strength I will feel

From your violent Bite! 

Author's Note

Thank you for all your comments. I'm still learning and hope to get better the more I write. Please let me know what you think...

Reviews

[JenLyn]

This was a great write it flows well and the rhyme scheme it nice. I enjoyed reading it, unlike some poems about seduction etc. this one had speed to it, it didn't drag so it made you want to read it even more. If you're into vampires you should check out my poem "Love Letter To A Vampire" but honestly I think your poem is better. Good job! Keep it up! Oh and as far as learning and getting better all it takes it practice, and reading other poetry helps as well, so write until you feel like your hand is going to fall off. I look forward to reading more of your writing. :)

[Frantzuu]

stunning piece of poetry, great details, flowed well, awesomeee

[tygernymph]

I love to read anything that is about fantasy/mythological creatures and your poem was really wonderful. It brings out the seductive part of the whole vampire thing. I hope to read more from you. :)

It starts out like the main character is in a bar watching a stranger across the room, wanting passion, wanting to be touched (but not to touch, the goal is to be passive, to be taken), a man wanting to be utterly consumed. When I read it as if the character was a woman, it was more prosaic as women are portrayed as having these passive types of fantasies quite often. I am unfamiliar with men within the vampire fantasy, so this makes for a fascinating bit of reading, to consider it from that angle. It makes me suddenly feel that I know little about men. Intriguing. Thanks. :)

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

A wonderful dark piece. Sounded like a dark love story.

[Seashell]

Welllllll...a great poet in the making methinks. Very nice poetry here. Great flow and rhyme helps to make it a wonderful piece. I don't understand the vampire thing but can appreciate others interests. You chose some romantic words, hinged with a little, if not great danger, to seal this write which put a nice touch to it for me.

Thanks
Babs xx

[LynLee]

i liked this.......it rhymed..........and it had a story in thhe back of it...........really liked it

[Ice QueenJen]

very good for someone who doesn't like writing poetry. And yes it's a great way to get the mind working, and the words flowing. I am currently working on a vampire story, called "The Stare"- do check what I have written so far! And like the other Jennifer I am looking forward to some of your other writings- and welcome to the cafe.

[Cassandra D.]

I very much enjoyed reading this.
I agree with everyone here, it is a very nice and bone-chilling poem.

[Manda]

i really like this. it has a nice flow to it. well done

[Doreen]

Nice write. I love the sense of expectation, yearning...the wanting of the taboo and forbidden. It first comes across as light, but upon the second read, you can see that it's much deeper. I like this very much.